Meet Linda Halladay | Bio | Introduction | Illumination

My Abandoned Dreams Are Now a Beautiful Reality

A story of how I finally became my vision of my future self.

Howdy!

My name is Linda Kay Halladay. Here is some of my story.

One of my earliest, happiest memories is one where I’m sitting at my desk in my bedroom writing short stories. I probably was 11 or 12 years of age. I also remember drawing some pictures to go along with the stories. I don’t remember what I wrote about. What I do remember is the delightful feeling I felt creating a story from my vivid imagination.

For some reason, I stopped writing those stories. And I never kept them.

I didn’t write much between then and now — except for the English compositions I wrote in high school and college. Those writing experiences were traumatic. I’d put so much effort into the papers only to get them back — full of negative, RED-inked comments. I felt defeated. I was never able to figure out how to succeed in the English comp game.

After that, I decided I wouldn’t write anything unless I had to.

Fast forward to my mid-forties.

I had moved back to Colorado — and I needed to build my accounting practice once again. So, I became enthralled with marketing and copywriting. Learning to write compelling copy helped me attract new clients to my business. I also started going to Toast Masters — so that I would be comfortable speaking in front of groups. And to polish and present my marketing messages at business networking meetings.

Though I didn’t realize it then, I was re-igniting two improbable dreams. Writing and speaking.

Eventually, I grew tired of the accounting and tax prep grind.

So, I fired myself from my consulting practice. I took a long sabbatical to figure out what I wanted to do next — for my second act. After a while, I discovered what I liked best about my accounting practice — consulting or coaching my clients. Helping my clients achieve their goals easier and faster was so rewarding to them and me.

I took a few training courses in coaching and leadership to add to my business expertise. As I immersed myself in a new career, I also was reckoning my son wasn’t coming home. My nurturing days were over. My son was out on his own — starting his new life and career. The heartache of that realization shook me to the core. It never entered my mind that he would leave one day. That I wouldn’t see him every day. (It still brings tears to my eyes — though it’s been over ten years since.)

At this same time, I recognized other women my age and older were also going through a similar “withdrawal.”

Becoming empty nesters. Perhaps their spouses were retired (like mine was then). And they weren’t interested in pursuing another career, a new business, or a creative endeavor. Yet, there’s a profound urge within us to finally go for a long-lost dream. Now would be our time to do so. We no longer have nurturing responsibilities or household management requirements. Still, this cohort of women seemed apprehensive about taking the risk of leaving their comfort zones.

Thus, I began my coaching practice with these thoughts in mind. First, to focus on women entrepreneurs like me: over 60 and who want to create a bodacious second act that would be fun, exciting, and fulfilling. And, along with coaching, to create a blog on my website. I had two goals for my blog. Encourage women to go for their dreams was one. The second was to provide practical business and marketing strategies for more profits.

I was enjoying creating my website and writing the content for it.

I also had a few speaking gigs at local networking groups.

I felt I would be able to reach and help a lot of women realize their dreams and create a fabulous life after 60. I was so excited about the possibilities.

As I traveled farther down the path toward building my business, several life-changing events drastically altered my life’s course.

After a long illness, my mother passed away without any sign that her death was imminent. I had just visited with her telling her my good news about getting a speaking gig. A few hours later, she was gone. I was devastated. I felt lost without her. She was my strength up to the last minute I spent with her.

Several weeks later, my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

My world was crumbling around me. I not only lost my mother; I was losing my husband a little bit every day. It was all I could do to keep moving forward.

Until …

I had to put my husband into a memory care facility. I couldn’t take care of him any longer. That day I knew my husband was never coming home. It was the beginning of the long goodbye. And it was the beginning of my grief. Nine months later, my husband died in his sleep.

Even though I knew it was coming, his death was still devastating. I thought I would feel relief since he would be in a better place afterward. I didn’t. My sorrow was more debilitating.

A month later, to add insult to injury, so to speak, I had a heart attack and emergency quintuple bypass surgery. I was close to stepping through death’s door and didn’t know it.

The ephemerality of Life was knocking me over my head with a two-by-four!

My wake-up call helped me understand C. S. Lewis’ observation more clearly:

“Everybody dies, but not everybody has lived.”

I had the stark awareness that NOW is the time to live the rest of my life to the fullest. No more fooling around. If I want to experience a long-desired dream, I must do it before it’s too late. Nothing was holding me back except some hesitancy to step out into the unknown. But then again, what did I have to lose?

Next, I had a “divine download.”

A sudden burst of insight filled my head with so much brilliance I couldn’t ignore it or try to forget it. I was “told” to write about my experiences going through grief and reclaiming my life from the jaws of deep sadness. The “download” told me that what I wrote should be a book to help other widows in their darkest hours.

So, that’s what I’m doing.

I’ve gone full circle.

I’m back at my desk writing stories — but stories about my experiences through grief. I am on the other side of my angst and heartache. And I am now entering a beautiful, joyful life filled with a new love. I hope that perhaps my stories will help other widows get through their sorrow so that they can live the rest of their lives happily.

I’ve published some of my stories about grief in Illumination. (See below for links to these stories.) My goal is to continue publishing more stories from my book about my journey out of grief into relief. Plus, I will write stories about second chances and encouragement to go for your dreams before it’s too late.

I want to thank Dr. Yildiz and the entire Illumination community for creating this platform to help each other have better lives filled with joy, love, and happiness. I also want to thank Tim Maudlin and Jeff Herring for their support and encouragement to publish what I’ve written.

PS As I mentioned above, here are a few stories I have written about my journey through grief: