My 100 Comments On 100 Stories By 100 Writers. Part 5–41 To 50

What I said about what everyone wrote (often while being on the wrong side of a gallon of Belgian lager). Including links to all the stories.

#41 - Arpad Nagy. I Was the Student That Made My French Teacher a Chain Smoker

“Ha Ha. This sounds so similar to a memory I wrote about back in June.

What happened to me was pretty gruesome and I suffered for it. Maybe I even still suffer today from some of the things that happened back in the old school days.

Your story runs almost opposite to mine though, in the sense that you won your teacher/student battle and it was her that ultimately suffered perhaps, so well done you.

I often wonder what happened to that teacher that I had to suffer. Do you ever do the same? You never know, she might be in an asylum or something. At least all the litter picking would have been worth it.

Mind you, having said all that, when you consider the French attitude to smoking, she might be just a chain smoker out of habit, rather than it being at the hands of a petulant student. Let’s hope so hey?”

#42 - Jonathon Sawyer. A Red Wedding

“Hooray, some decent fiction. A well-written and enjoyable vignette. I was compelled to follow the links. I will read more from the Kraken Lore and TFT Trove.

As a side note, I have to say that this was a missed opportunity. Surely the story must have been titled “The Answer To Life, The Universe And Everything”.

Cheers.”

#43 - Andrew Rodwin. Where’s Smillew Rahcuef?

“First off. The 100 things in 20 minutes prompt is…..well…..just shit really. This example of it is exactly why. Secondly, there’s no way this was done in twenty minutes. Thirdly, are you a 14-year-old girl? Fourthly, ahh I see you’re a co-editor on MuddyUm, now it makes sense.

Only on Medium’s least funny publication would this pass as reasonable content output. It sums them up really, a bloke just sitting there and making cutsie things with wingdings.

At least it gives me the chance to repeat my favourite sentence that I wrote a few days ago about this subject.

When I think of MuddyUm, I imagine an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite amount of excrement, and an infinite amount of time to throw it at a massive foghorn. In theory the more monkeys there are, throwing evermore amounts of shit, at a massive foghorn will, given time, create the biggest, loudest shit in the history of the universe. Or MuddyUm as we know it.”

Footnote: This response got me blocked by Andrew Rodwin.

#44 Debra G. Harman, MEd. The Robber Tapped My Chest With the Point of the Blade

“Hi, Debra.

As someone who isn’t familiar with the genre “creative non-fiction”, it took me a while to get used to the dense minutiae of the narrative. Having said that the grittiness of the piece gave me the feeling that it isn’t a place I would like to live. It sounded too much like the wrong side of Cape Town. Pretty scary.

I am now interested to know how you ended up living there and why you wanted to. Do you have any stories about that? If so I’d like to read them and, maybe, learn more about your chosen genre.

One final question. I notice that you hit enter at the end of every sentence. Is that a device used in creative non-fiction per-se? If it is, what would the rationale for that be? It’s very different to how I am comfortable writing.”

#45 Marie A. Rebelle. She Called It No Big Deal, Not Rape

“Very well-written and disturbing. I want to say something profound and helpful, regarding the subject matter but, as a bloke, I’m simply not qualified to do that. My inherent inability to understand how a woman would feel, in such circumstances, is frustrating, to say the least.

I once, when quite young, found myself in a very vulnerable situation and the feeling of being trapped by your own physical weakness, in the face of people with the strength to overpower you, is intensely harrowing.

Obviously, the intimate nature of rape, I can only imagine, takes that profound fear to another level.

Cheers.”

#46 - Robin Christine Honigsberg. The Inheritance

“Well, that escalated quickly, didn’t it? I hated both of the characters, they deserved each other. I would have ended it with.

“My wife’s had an accident…”

He didn’t notice the tiny CCTV camera, Melissa had installed the day before.

That Melissa though, she could down a few couldn’t she?

Nice story Robin.

Cheers.”

#47 Ann James. just get them to talk

“Can you help me out, Ann, because I’m a bit thick? I’ve read through this a few times. What is the most important part?

1: You used a purple marker pen.

2: You were so fukin’ (g?) nervous.

3: You teach English to Spanish-speaking adults.

4: You were, previously, a neighbour of the head of adult education.

5: The best advice you got was “just get them to talk”.

6: None of the above it’s just, sort of, a stream-of-consciousness memoir thingy.

At the moment I’m leaning towards 5, seeing as you put it in the title. If it’s 6 then it’s my fault that I don’t understand what I’m supposed to take away from it, other than now knowing what underpants is in Spanish.

Cheers.”

#48 Denise Kendig. That Time I Asked For a Sign

“You asked the universe to show you a sign and it did. What you didn’t do was see the message hidden in it.

I was doing a similar thing one day. Sitting in a pub, I had consumed quite a large amount of strong lager, and I was perusing a “Wellness” magazine that someone must have left behind. It was full of the usual stuff like “5 easy steps to bore people to death about how great you think you are” and “How to trick your chakras into thinking you’re no longer bitter that he shagged your sister”. You know, all that shit. It’s all over Medium.

Anyway, I was thinking, why can’t the universe give me a sign? At that moment I looked out the window to see a young lad off the nearby council estate spray painting “GO FUCK YOURSELF”, on the side of the police station.

I immediately went home and had a massive wank and felt at ease with my place in the world, and I’ve been doing that ever since, as many times a day as scheduled TV allows.”

#49 Hogan Torah. The Shrimp Wheel of Destiny

“Cool story bro”

#50 Michelle Scorziello. Looking for a Scapegoat?

“Your Mum’s ire was directed towards the wrong people. It isn’t the “English” that’s the problem, it’s the “British”. There wasn’t an English Empire going around the world causing all that death and destruction you describe. It was the British Empire.

Great Britain (as it is erroneously labelled) is England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. The people of Northern Ireland, including your mum, are (were) British. Your mum was British. She didn’t want to be, but she was.

I have something in common with your mum. I am British, but I don’t want to be. I want Britain dismantled. Scottish and Welsh independence and a re-united Ireland. Reason? Because as an Englishman I am constantly defined by an inferred Britishness, which includes being forced to doff my cap to a head of state, chosen by a God I don’t believe in.

Sod that. I want English independence so we can get back to a culture outside of exceptionalist imperialism.

She might have hated me, but I think I would have liked your mum, she sounded like my old English nana.

Enjoyable read.