SUSAN IS STRONG & WE’RE INVINCIBLE

Monday’s Mudditor Zoom Was Emotional

Our 11.15.21 meeting turned into an affirmation of purpose & unity

We held a funeral for the Zoom-A-Thon

These minutes aren’t play-by-play. Only the takeaway is important. It’s a good thing you weren’t there, Andrew Rodwin, Brudditor, because feelings were expressed. A lot of feelings. Only Amy Sea and I are definitely in your camp because we did not cry at all. Amy talked about not crying, though.

MuddyUm hosted a Zoom-A-Thon to thank our followers and contributors to Bring Sarah Paris Back From Uranus, aka the Mudditor Emergency Fund. These funds have already been helpful twice, and we WILL be scheduling another giving of thanks. Thanksgiving is important, especially now.

As you may’ve heard already, we were Zoombombed. Unlike some of my Outlaw friends, I’m writing this story from the lucky, privileged position of angry annoyance rather than trauma.

Some attendees were triggered. I’m so sorry, guys, and glad Carol Lennox is here with us and for us. Wish you’d recorded the Zoom-A-Thon aftermath session that I missed. I can only imagine its intensity. Cap’n Susan praised Carol’s story, And Then We Were Hacked With Porn, and recommended reading a particularly long early comment.

Toni Crowe’s valuable contributions to the aftermath Zoom came up several times on Monday. In reflecting about Sunday, Mudditors noted:

• Toni shifted to process on the spot with the group. People of color often don’t have the luxury to stop and process
• “How I deal” is different for everyone and is part of being human. Each of us is unique
• Don’t lay blame on others and don’t shame yourself. Instead, take appropriate responsibility

I must take responsibility for failing to make note of anything Nanci Arvizu said. Sorry, Nanci. I may or may not do better next time.

Personal aside

My immediate reaction when our Zoom-A-Thon ended abruptly was to blow off steam by calling the offensive interrupters names. On Slack, I said:

After changing from my red dress into sweats and eating breakfast, I started a story with the following headers:

It began like this:

Not that I’m saying only nice stories belong on MuddyUm or that only nice people read MuddyUm, because hey, there’s Hogan, whose ilk is multitude. But the only thing this story has to do with Hogan Torah is: I’m disappointed I didn’t get to Zoom-aloud his dick story yet. Also it’s a pain to contemplate putting on blusher again. That’ll be the third time this year.

This is a humor pub, though, not a home for ranting. Now that I’ve expressed my annoyance by name-calling those degenerate prick losers, what I really want to write is

I felt funnier on Monday than Sunday. A little name-calling fits better here — those cowardly, immature degenerates don’t deserve a story title or subtitle, I decided, unless you’re Amy, who wrote this. I have only one more thought to aim their way:

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! … now go away or I shall taunt you a second time. — Monty Python

Susan shared her feelings of guilt and shame and responsibility. She was among the triggered, with childhood memories of being the adult in the room, responsible for everything. Her grandmother helped her immensely. She learned it’s best to accept the pain of failure, feel it, then pay it forward and move on while repairing your relationship with the harmed person.

We love you, Susan!

MuddyUm is a good ship, not a soulless corporate undertaking. We’re here because we want to be and are inspired by your leadership.

Carol assured us that the scales would balance.

There is immense power in community. Participants volunteered as witnesses to report what happened. We aim to use our power for good. We’re dark chocolate, according to Lucia Siochi. We’re also “dark lite.” Dark humor is as dark as we’ll go.

As happens occasionally, the topic of drugs arose

Amy talked about micro-dosing, which needed explanation as I conflated it with Susan’s personal portion control policies of 1/8th of an edible. We touched on the humor and relaxation possibilities of “BYOM” — bring your own microdose — and agreed this is best saved for in-person meetings, perhaps at Comedy Camp.

Emotions

Don’t read this paragraph if messy emotions trigger you, XYs

Emotions really do come in bundles and you are not alone if you experience laughing and crying and other emotions all at the same time. Anger, especially intense anger, often is a cover for sad and/or scared feelings.

Many participants felt the very basic RUN or FREEZE responses during our Zoom-A-Thon.

Newsletters

This week’s newsletter is delayed to make sure we do justice to the theme of

honoring how we support each other in community.

We came together to say thanks and laugh together and were hacked. That’s on them. We’re moving on.

Gratefulness is a two-parter

Humor is transformative, and funny = healing, but these newsletter stories need not be funny.

• Mudditors are to submit favorite stories ASAP, either their own or others’, on MuddyUm and elsewhere, celebrating GRATEFULNESS.
• Since Thanksgiving is next week, Susan made this a newsletter series. Outlaws, please submit your GRATEFULNESS stories for the Thanksgiving newsletters too.

There’s so much UNfunny stuff in the world. We can choose our activities to get where we want to be. Don’t let bullies change our focus.

Sharing loss matters too

Someone — I think Amy — mentioned this story by Baskerville Old Face that moved her. It is well worth reading.

Carol brought up something I too have felt — that she never expected to find community in a humor publication.

She made us laugh by quoting, just when I thought I had all my ducks in a row, some of them wandered off. Our words and our practice have to match. Some “communities” don’t include things that bind the members together.

Catch you next week, if not before! Past Mudditor Meeting Notes are here: