Men, These Are Qualities Women Are Looking for

How you can stand out in a sea of testosterone.

Since the dawn of time, men have been trying to impress women in order to win them over. Surely a woman can be hooked by the man who can earn the most money, drive the sportiest car, or bring home the biggest woolly mammoth, right? Some flowers on Valentine’s Day and you should be golden.

Yes,there are some women who put more importance on material things than on a man’s character, but I’m not talking about them here. I’m offering you insight into what quality women want. The ones who see past all the outward decorations. The women who would be there with you even if you lost everything tomorrow.

Now character traits like being hard-working and wanting to provide for those you love are indeed things that women notice and appreciate. No one wants a deadbeat as a partner in life. Flowers are great too, especially if it’s not just on special occasions, but “just because.”

So often though, it seems that men still put more work into providing tangible tokens of affection rather than the intangibles that actually create deep roots to help the relationship become strong, blossoming from the inside out.

What are these traits, you ask?

Well, gentleman, let me enlighten you.

Honesty

I dated a man for four months. At the end of those four months, I found out he had been lying about several things the entire time. After having experienced that betrayal, I can tell you that once you are dishonest with the person you profess to care about, trust is broken, and once trust is gone, it may be impossible for the other person to ever trust you again, because once you have lied to me, I see you differently, and will instinctively question everything you say, because I don’t feel safe anymore. I feel like I have to protect myself from you, and a woman should never have to protect herself from her man. So take my advice and be honest from the start. If you screw up, own up to it and take the consequences.

Trust is built in drops and lost in buckets.

Kevin A. Plank

Purpose

A man who doesn’t know where he is going cannot lead me anywhere but in circles. Do you have plans and goals? What is your vision? It doesn’t have to be to run a Fortune 500 company, I just need to know what your dreams are and what you are doing to achieve them so I can see if they fit in with my dreams too. A man needs purpose and challenges to keep him growing. He needs dragons to slay, and he should be strategic in identifying which ones to go after.

Self-Awareness

Do you know yourself well enough to recognize what areas you are strong in? How about where you’re weak? Are you doing anything to better yourself-to grow in character and knowledge? You can be sure that a quality woman is working on herself in some area or another, and she would be happy to have you join her.

Vulnerability

What? Isn’t that a swear word?

Women are famous for being the more emotional sex, for going to counseling, therapists, and learning about self-help topics to improve themselves. It is generally accepted that men are more the “eat food-drink beer-chop wood” type. But men are just as much body, soul, and spirit as women. Unfortunately, men have been conditioned to put on a facade of strength, and to suck it up when it comes to feelings.

“Oh no! I’m supposed to be all emotional?”

Yes. Yes, you are.

That freaks you out, I get it. Men have been sold a load of crap when it comes to feelings. Pretty much the only socially acceptable feelings men are allowed to express are pride anger, or lust. Maybe a little bit of happiness if they’re around family or friends. But you better hold those tears in so you don’t look weak. Don’t think about admitting there’s something you can’t do and that you need to ask for help.

Maybe some of you are with a woman who makes you feel safe when showing her your weaknesses. One you can open up to and cry in front of. I hope you are. Those things that you think make you look weak in her eyes, actually make her feel safe, because you trust her enough to show her what’s inside of you, the things that you don’t show to the rest of the world.

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection.”

— Brené Brown

Of course, there are more qualities that are attractive to good women, but these are some crucial necessities for a good man to possess. Growth is a process, and a quality woman will appreciate a man who is on his journey.

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