Medium Introduces Jealousy Views
A whole new scoring system

In an attempt to stem the tide of mutual back-scratching that has been spreading like a rash on Medium since the recent changes, the CEO will now be rewarding those sneaky, silent, jealous views where a writer will visit your piece just to check his/her competition (you) out and leave without any engagement.
It suddenly occurred to the Coach that these silent little envious visits signal a more genuine appreciation/fascination than your common run-of-the-mill reciprocity engagers.
In Tony’s words:
Jealousy views add a more official seal of good writing, as it means the writer’s work attracts even those that can’t stand them. Why should such talent go unpaid and unnoticed?
The dead silence around the board room table was either from bewilderment or profound awe, but Tony wasn’t one to stand on ceremony around brilliant ideas. The Coach continued:
Jealousy views will now overtake engagement (claps, highlights, comments) as the top form of earning potential. Writers will be rewarded $10 dollars per jealousy view.
In the Master’s mind, this change would have a two-fold effect:
- A writer’s jealous competitor would now be forced to go through the humiliating ritual of clapping and highlighting on their rival’s work just to ensure they get paid less for their visit.
- Loyal fans and/or reciprocators would be forced to say nothing, leaving no sign that they came to visit the writer’s piece, in order to make sure the writer received his/her $10 payment.
The staff around the boardroom were still in shocked silence, not knowing what to say. The Coach rubbed his hands together in delight, announcing:
Well, if there are no further questions or objections, that settles it! These changes will be effective October 1st. Then, in an uncharacteristic moment of sheer CEO exuberance, the Coach stood up and gleefully shouted:
LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

© Carlo Zeno 2023
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Thanks for reading. For more recent Medium changes, check these two out below 👇
