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Abstract

jump back, huh, hey, can I kiss myself? Yeah! Oh, oh, ha!”</p></blockquote><figure id="3655"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*j2GFTsPFYy8ghHwIVgO_xA.jpeg"><figcaption><b>“I got soul, and I’m superbad!” — James Brown</b> / Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@iggii?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">hp koch</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/LM25qd99pwg?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="61fd">The Coach first tried the new feature on a few staff who volunteered as <b>guinea pigs</b>.</p><p id="bb0e">One worker, who was said to be skeptical on how much <b><i>patting himself on the back for his ignored humor piece</i></b> would really boost his self-esteem, let alone his wallet, <b>reported</b>:</p><p id="4327" type="7">“I went from guarded skepticism mixed with a secret guilty pleasure hitting the back-pat button, to outright demonic delight in a matter of days. By the end of the week, I was giving myself 200 back-pats for every story, sometimes even surpassing the number of claps from my readers.”</p><p id="04e1">The <b>Coach</b> said this was exactly the sort of effect his new feature was intended to evoke. In an exclusive interview, he shared the following <b>inspiring</b> observation:</p><p id="00c1" type="7">“If one less person jumps off a bridge due to the dopamine effect of patting their own back 200 times a day, then I can safely retire knowing I have done my service to humanity.”</p><figure id="6e5c"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*RM_E_Vnf7db7picKD8q7Cw.jpeg"><figcaption><b>Dopamine effect of patting yourself on the back 200 times</b> / Photo by <a href="https://unsplash.com/@guillaumedegermain?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&

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amp;utm_content=creditCopyText">Guillaume de Germain</a> on <a href="https://unsplash.com/photos/rEVQCk1dqrA?utm_source=unsplash&utm_medium=referral&utm_content=creditCopyText">Unsplash</a></figcaption></figure><p id="3775"><b>© Carlo Zeno 2023</b></p><p id="e9ef">___________________</p><p id="fb7d">For more breaking Medium news about <b>claps </b>and<b> slaps</b>, check out this recent one below👇</p><div id="8cf5" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/medium-introduces-the-slap-d220539cf454"> <div> <div> <h2>Medium Introduces The Slap</h2> <div><h3>A more complete array of response options</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*0wwMkgMiKgV80l2HWPnN0w.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="07f0">And here is more Medium news from <a href="undefined">Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier)</a> about <b>faps</b>, <b>naps</b>, <b>straps</b>, and <b>schnapps 👇</b></p><div id="73ec" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/theres-claps-and-the-carlo-zeno-slap-but-we-need-a-few-more-aps-82b43e066040"> <div> <div> <h2>There’s “Claps”, and the Carlo Zeno “Slap”, but We Need a Few More “__aps”</h2> <div><h3>How about a “fap” when a story really gets you off? How about 50 faps?!</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*OhIaXRx7URi_n7fk5lnHOg.gif)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Self-Congratulations

Medium Introduces Back-Patting

When nobody else is clapping

For those stories that aren’t getting the amount of claps you know they deserve, the Coach is offering something of a remedy:

The Back-Pat.

Right next to the Clap icon and the red Slap icon will now be a Back-Pat icon. For those stories that are clearly a cut above the common dross that passes for Medium literature and may even be a cut above readers’ comprehension, you will now be able to hit back at the great humiliating silence that stares down at your neglected story:

You will be able to Back-Pat yourself up to 200 times.

From the Coach’s point of view, this will still count as engagement, as you are still spending time on the Medium app, and so will earn a 25 cent piece per 200 back-pats.

This new feature on Medium gives voice to a sentiment best expressed by the legendary James Brown in his hit song, Superbad, Superslick:

“I don’t need nobody else Feels so good, good God Then I jump back, huh, hey, can I kiss myself? Yeah! Oh, oh, ha!”

**“I got soul, and I’m superbad!” — James Brown** / Photo by hp koch on Unsplash

The Coach first tried the new feature on a few staff who volunteered as guinea pigs.

One worker, who was said to be skeptical on how much patting himself on the back for his ignored humor piece would really boost his self-esteem, let alone his wallet, reported:

“I went from guarded skepticism mixed with a secret guilty pleasure hitting the back-pat button, to outright demonic delight in a matter of days. By the end of the week, I was giving myself 200 back-pats for every story, sometimes even surpassing the number of claps from my readers.”

The Coach said this was exactly the sort of effect his new feature was intended to evoke. In an exclusive interview, he shared the following inspiring observation:

“If one less person jumps off a bridge due to the dopamine effect of patting their own back 200 times a day, then I can safely retire knowing I have done my service to humanity.”

**Dopamine effect of patting yourself on the back 200 times** / Photo by Guillaume de Germain on Unsplash

___________________

For more breaking Medium news about claps and slaps, check out this recent one below👇

Medium Introduces The Slap

A more complete array of response options

medium.com

And here is more Medium news from Michael Burg, MD (Satire Sommelier) about faps, naps, straps, and schnapps 👇

There’s “Claps”, and the Carlo Zeno “Slap”, but We Need a Few More “__aps”

How about a “fap” when a story really gets you off? How about 50 faps?!

medium.com