Maintaining a Healthy Weight

Maybe There IS a Magic Pill!

Food For Thought

My whole life I’ve struggled with weight, like so many. But also, unlike so many.

You see, I was determined to become a ballerina, and then a model. Both professions often require being underweight, and that can mean triggering eating disorders. Because in many cases, it’s expected that you’ll be at least 20% lighter than the average population. And that usually takes the form of some pretty unhealthy choices. Not to mention accompanying low self-esteem, resulting from being told you’re not thin enough, despite taking desperate measures.

For me, that meant some days I would subsist on coffee alone but somehow managed to dance all day. I even actually took up smoking at age twenty for a few years. I sometimes took laxatives. I wouldn’t eat past 2:00 p.m. I went on fad diets. Etc.

It wasn’t pretty

All in all, I was a mess. Thankfully, I got much-needed therapy. But the repercussions are still with me today. The biggest one I think is that my body got starved so many times, and took revenge by blessing me with a ravenous appetite to ensure it would be nourished properly.

After I retired from dancing and modeling in my late twenties and allowed myself to gain a few pounds to reach a healthy weight, something was askew. Like when I started suddenly waking from a deep sleep because of loud and painful hunger pangs at 3:00 a.m. It was like a reliable, yet very annoying alarm clock. It never failed. I would eat a piece of fruit and go back to bed. Sometimes I couldn’t get back to sleep though.

Over the years, my night feedings increased, as did my corresponding waistline

People thought because I was getting bigger, I no longer had an eating disorder. I always will. They also assumed that I was pigging out. I wasn’t. It’s not like I sat down with a club-size bag of chips and dip or an entire box of bon bons. Far from it.

I wish I could say I would finally allow myself to eat the portion sizes I really wanted and have my fill — because I was always hungry. Instead, I was just eating controlled portions of healthy food (with a few limited treats) as the scale continued to climb, due to the number of times I had to eat throughout the day and night.

The only time I ever lost weight is if I was really sick or temporarily when I’d try some kind of new way of eating. Like more protein and less carbs. But I’d always eventually gravitate back to the same weight or even more, simply because of my huge appetite.

Since I was used to being physically active as a dancer for hours each day, exercise comes naturally to me. If I don’t move, I feel down and get very stiff. So that wasn’t the issue either.

As Oprah once said, if there was a magic pill, she would take it

My most recent attempt was a weight loss app. Reduced to only 1,200 calories a day for the weight loss portion, and then 1,320 calories to maintain the new weight, which left me starving. I didn’t know what else I could do.

And then someone at work lost weight. She mentioned that her new diabetes medication also reduced her uncontrollable hunger. I wondered if there was something I could take that wasn’t for diabetics and wasn’t the over-the-counter stuff that could be dangerous.

I saw my doctor

After a check-up and review of my diet and exercise plan, she agreed that I was doing all the right things and said there was indeed medication to reduce hunger. AND cravings! I didn’t even ask her about cravings. I always attributed my food cravings to self-indulgence. In my book, I even wrote a chapter about this phenomenon called — Follow That Craving!

In my case, there really WAS a magic pill to reduce my appetite and cravings. Which along with a sensible diet and exercise, would allow me to maintain a healthy weight. I couldn’t believe it! I’m also very lucky my prescription is covered under my insurance since it’s pricey.

I’ve been on the meds for about a month now. I had to begin slowly so that my system could get used to it and monitor for side effects. None in my case, fortunately. Since I’ve just started the full dose, I can’t believe the difference. I no longer need to eat at night! I’m no longer hungry two hours after eating! I have slowly lost a bit of weight and I know that my hunger monster will no longer sabotage my efforts to keep fit!

My doctor feels that I could be on this medication for a while and see how things go. Because my appetite may reset after being reduced, which also often naturally accompanies aging, I may not have to take the medication forever. For now, though, I’m relieved to finally have this tool. And to actually feel satiated.

Please note that this is not medical advice, just my own experience, and something you may wish to discuss with your medical professional if you can relate. For me, I’m very grateful that the work colleague mentioned this was a possibility, that I didn’t even know existed.

Thank you for reading my story.

Thank you to KiKi Walter at Black Bear Recovery.

Please see my other stories about life lessons I learned:

For more please check out my book: https://amzn.to/3s01fDv