MENTAL HEALTH
How to Keep Your Sanity In the Workplace
Sh*t Rolls Downhill and There’s Always Someone on Top
Office Mental Health Can Be More Like Mental Hell
Having endured office politics for several decades, I’m often comforted by the plight of Fred Flintstone in an episode when he is granted a wish by the Great Gazoo to be boss for a day. It’s not what it’s cracked up to be, and he learns the hard way that even bosses have bosses. And more importantly, sh*t rolls downhill, like a wayward boulder at The Slate Rock and Gravel Company quarry pit.
Even though there’s a much greater understanding nowadays about what it takes to promote and support mental health, it seems to elude many office settings. Instead of finding ways to motivate through praise, plenty of bosses believe in fear-instilling reprimands. Instead of public accolades, there is public humiliation. And the list goes on.
Sometimes I’ve wanted to slip all the insightful articles on this subject matter under a boss’s door to instantly enlighten them.
But then I stop myself. Not because I fear someone will see me do it. But because I’ve finally realized two things:
- They’ll probably never comprehend how this pertains to THEM — that’s why they act like they do in the first place, and
- They have someone above them, be it a more senior executive, board member and/or shareholder that demands MORE.
So sh*t starts rolling downhill.
Much like the Grinch commanding the poor dog that he dressed up as a reindeer (yes, I love cartoons), the top yells down the ranks “Mush!” And the order to mush cascades down the hill like an out-of-control snowball picking up mass and speed. Or that poor dog who sees the Grinch’s sled pass him by somehow (the picture I found is a poor replica due to copyright rules).
Out the window goes all the considerations to truly inspire teams, as toxicity increases.
“We demand MORE!” is the holler that leads bosses to whip their teams and the next level of bosses and teams into shape. Angst transcends humanity. Stress and anxiety build as ensuing chaos perilously erupts and lingers.
I’m not a fan of this game, but I’m forced to play because frankly, I need my day job.
I’ve never aspired to be the top brass, nor have I been invited to do so. I think it’s my nature that would prohibit this from happening. Once I was telling a very successful corporate climber about a trip to the amusement park with John. We were on one of the rides that forced me to keep bumping into him. I looked at John apologetically and kept swearing that I was holding on as hard as I could to avoid squishing him. John quipped, “Try harder!” The corporate climber retorted, “Had he said that to me, I would have forcefully slammed into him even more!”
That says it all right there. I’m not an elbows-out kind of person. My elbows are usually tucked in tight. In the supervisory roles I’ve had, I try to buck the system. I treat people how I would like to be treated — with kindness and appreciation. Sometimes it works with direct reports who get inspired by my positive reinforcement. I’ve learned that it sometimes backfires, however. There have been people who have taken advantage of my leadership style and dropped the ball instead of rising to the occasion.
I guess what I’ve realized from being supervised and being a supervisor is one size does not fit all. Everyone is busy — I get it. But much like parents need to learn how to encourage each child based on their capabilities and temperament, so do bosses. And they usually don’t, unfortunately.
It’s frequently just “Mush!!!!” to the finish line.
And when you get there, there may be a brief celebration (oftentimes not including everyone who contributed). And then it’s back to “Mush!!!!” Because the goal suddenly gets increased by 10%. And so on.
We all push on somehow. What gets me through is the old adage of you can’t change anyone except yourself. And believe me, I’ve tried. The perpetrator is typically oblivious to their soul-crushing ways.
Involving HR can make things worse.
So I focus on things I can control.
I befriend like-minded colleagues. I find humour in some of the goings on. I write about it. I vent with people I can trust. I take a walk at lunch. I plan something fun for after work. I watch cartoons. And I remember why what I’m doing matters. Even if no one else seems to.
Finally, I understand that ideally, it would be wonderful to go peacefully meditate on a mountaintop each day. But being decent at your workplace despite the “Mush!” mentality is the true test of evolving as a human being. And that keeps me going. It also gets the bills paid. Which affords me the opportunity to enjoy life and try to make this world a better place.
Thank you for reading my story.
Thank you to KiKi Walter at Black Bear Recovery
Please see my other story about life lessons I learned:
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