EDUCATION/CORONAVIRUS

Masking the Truth

New Virginia governor thinks parents should dictate policy

I spent 27 years as a Virginia resident; 23 of those years teaching in a public high school there. As I’ve said more than once, “Oh, if the walls of my classroom could talk.”

I’ve borne witness as the misplaced notions of school administrators went awry; misguided students thought to take matters into their own hands; the implementation of silly state and national education dictates taught all of us more about bladder control than learning.

But I’ve also seen students grow up, graduate, and, by golly, make something of themselves. Ever wonder what happens after kids leave the halls of high school? They, for the most part, go on to do great things.

Students under my care became NICU nurses. Doctors and medical researchers studying fruit flies to come close to solving the curse of AIDS. Naval officers. Fighter pilots. Business owners. Published authors. Lawyers. Journalists. Even teachers, God bless ’em, sometimes following in my footsteps — same location, even in one case same English department.

I would say 94.9 percent of my education career was a success. The rest consisted of falling down, picking myself up, dusting off those I collided with and learning from my mistakes.

Yeah, teachers are never going to be perfect. I don’t need to lay out our imperfections here, but let’s just say I’ve got some great stories to tell.

I was a tad sad to move away from long-time friends and colleagues when we relocated to North Carolina. But I’m pleased as punch that I don’t have to witness the attempted demolition going on in the Old Dominion right now.

You may have heard about this rich dude. Thinks he knows what’s best for Virginia. Donned a red fleece vest — pretending to be “everyman” — and campaigned for governor last year. He doesn’t know much about public education, and, as my Nana would say, doesn’t give a fiddler’s fart about it, either.

But — like his Rethuglican mentor, the Former Guy — this idiot likes to stir stuff up. He got more than a few local parents’ panties in a wad over something called Critical Race Theory, a course of study that has never been part of the state’s public school curriculum, and never will be.

And like the Orange Oaf before him, now-Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin knows how to piss off folks while peeing all over the Old Dominion’s existing public education infrastructure.

Now that he’s been in office all of 23 nanoseconds — OK, he was inaugurated as Virginia’s 74th head of state close to two weeks ago — he’s taking aim at masks. You know, those face coverings designed to keep us all safe from the raging pandemic brought on by the Trump Virus.

And I don’t know what I would do if I were still in the classroom. By executive order, Youngkin, who, according to Wikipedia, was educated in private schools — which have fewer students and are therefore easier to monitor for the plague — declared public school parents now will be able to “opt their children out” of school mask mandates in the state.

But wait, it gets better. School districts representing 53 percent of all Virginia public school students say they will ignore Youngkin’s pronouncement. Seven sensible districts — including mine in the D.C. suburbs — challenged the governor’s executive order in court.

Big dummy thinks he can rule by sound bite and not solutions. And like his buddy Trumplethinskin, he’s gonna find out that dog won’t hunt (thanks again, Nana).

Gosh, more than 16,000 Virginians have died from COVID-19 in the past two years. Other than becoming a hermit, wearing a mask in public is considered by experts to be the single best way — along with vaccination — to slow the spread of the pandemic.

Perhaps Governor Youngkin isn’t very good at math. We should get a gander at his school transcripts. Bet those snotty institutions his folks paid extra for didn’t school the Guv on the finer points of addition, subtraction and logic.

I’m no expert, but I do know a few things about public schools. Students — especially high-schoolers — are incredibly social beings. They travel in packs, and stick together like chili on con queso (another Nana-ism). To mix my metaphors further, high school kids are walking, talking human petri dishes.

Sorry, but I’d like to opt out from teaching anybody in person who doesn’t wear a mask. If it’s good enough for the grocery store, it’s good enough for Room 215, where I taught for more than two decades.

And how riled up do you think the morons residing in certain pockets of our great state are right now? Let’s just say the mom who threatened to bring all her guns to school when Youngkin’s executive order takes effect on Monday the 31st isn’t the only one who’s gone crazy in Virginia.

“No mask mandates,” said parent Amelia King, while addressing her local school board. “My children will not come to school on Monday with a mask on. That’s not happening, and I will bring every single gun loaded and ready.” The woman was later arrested. Oh, she eventually apologized, but the seeds were planted.

Yikes. Stupid is as stupid does, I reckon.

I see where this is headed. Governor Youngkin wants to divide and conquer. If blaming the teachers — who don’t really have the power in this equation — doesn’t work, then blame the school boards. He and the dummies who ascribe to this strategy don’t understand these governing bodies were created for a reason.

Local Boards of Education are elected entities that implement state education policy and administer local public schools. While not a perfect system, they work with communities to improve student achievement. And they enforce state and local laws pertaining to public education.

Bottom line? Above all, these local administrative bodies are the link between us and Big Brother. Their members are selected by us. They represent our interests.

I don’t know about you, but wearing a mask at school is pretty much in the interest of all of us who want to survive these days. And how just plain dumb would it be to have every parent going every which way (yes, Nana), ignoring the guidance of the people we’ve chosen to protect us?

Glenn Youngkin seems to want to change all that. Fine. But this way of thinking — coupled with Raging Rona — is why Virginia is facing the highest teacher shortfall ever.

Our assignment, as educators, is to teach. We can’t — and won’t — do that if we’re afraid.