avatarNoorain Ali

Summary

The article outlines six behaviors that successful people like Marcus Aurelius avoid, including making hasty decisions, negative thinking, and not living in the present, to maintain healthy relationships and achieve personal growth.

Abstract

The article discusses the importance of personal conduct and mindset in achieving success, drawing lessons from the life of Roman Emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius. It emphasizes that successful individuals, much like Marcus Aurelius, steer clear of actions that can hinder their progress and relationships. These actions include succumbing to anger, failing to think critically, harboring negativity, dismissing the importance of the present, and neglecting daily learning. The article provides insights into how Marcus Aurelius managed his emotions, engaged in deep thinking, maintained a positive outlook, stayed present, and committed to continuous learning, despite facing significant challenges in his life. By adopting these practices, the article suggests that one can improve their decision-making, thought patterns, and overall approach to life.

Opinions

  • Successful people like Marcus Aurelius are portrayed as individuals who manage their emotions effectively, particularly anger, to make sound decisions.
  • Critical thinking and divine thinking are crucial for leaders, as they must balance their own needs with those of their subjects or team members.
  • Negative thinking patterns are seen as a significant barrier to success, and successful individuals are encouraged to view challenges as opportunities for growth.
  • The article suggests that living in the present and not dwelling on the past is essential for personal development and success.
  • Continuous learning and the application of philosophy are highly valued as tools for understanding and navigating life's complexities.
  • The author believes that mentality is a key factor in success and that it is something that can be learned and cultivated over time.

Marcus Aurelius: Successful People Will Avoid You if You Do These 6 Things

A successful version of everyone was once in pain.

Photo by Marcus Santos on Unsplash

Marcus Aurelius married his cousin Faustina, with whom he had thirteen children. However, many of their children died younger, causing him great grief.

The pain never stopped Marcus Aurelius from becoming a respected military leader or a practicing Roman philosopher. Aurelius knew that he had to turn his pain and grief into a bag of learning lessons he could carry with him.

Pain and problem change people. A successful version of everyone once faced pain and problems — as for Marcus Aurelius. However, not knowing this, many people make silly mistakes that cost them high time moving forward.

Mistakes are dangerous. Silly mistakes can cost you a fortune, a job loss, and even friends who won’t stick around. Don’t waste your time spoiling relations with the right people because you don’t know the tips! Below are 6 things you should avoid doing that might irritate successful people.

Let’s get started!

1. You’re always angry and make wrong decisions

Avoid making decisions under duress.

Your mind and heart know what will happen, even before it happens. Look around you — the signs speak for themselves. You should never ignore the signs unless you want to alter the reality.

How to improve:

Even with the baggage of pain, Marcus Aurelius defeated Germanic tribes in the north and the Parthians in the east.

He was not just a philosopher but an ideal emperor. Ryan’s Holiday books suggest that Marcus Aurelius would wait to make a quick decision and yet take time to call for a final one. How did he keep his anger under control? Below are the habits Marcus Aurelius followed:

  • Stayed silent
  • Took a rational perspective
  • Recognized and pinpointed the nature of anger
  • Practiced self-control
  • Focused on what’s urgent and in control

Marcus understood that 60–70M lives were dependent on his decisions. Yet, one decision can throw all the netizens under the bus, along with this potential to rule the empire.

2. You’re not a divine thinker

Anyone can think.

But an emperor cannot just be selfish, narcissistic, and think about himself only. This way, he’d be left with no one to rule. An emperor’s responsibility is like balancing all the eggs on a paper bag, ensuring none drops.

How to improve:

The philosopher king believed in the idea of living by nature. In other words, it means accepting the world and controlling what you can. At one point, Marcus Aurelius said:

“Apply them constantly to everything that happens: Physics. Ethics. Logic.”

Marcus Aurelius thought about everything on a deeper level. He sprayed the essence of his philosophical information, experience, and respect into every decision.

For Marcus Aurelius, it was a process — not a one-day task. These habits helped Marcus Aurelius to think critically:

  • Daily journaling
  • Reflection and self-examination
  • Reading and studying philosophy
  • Questioning assumptions and beliefs

3. You have a negative thinking pattern

  • Problems are like stairs

A childish person often talks about problems he had years ago. If a person continuously talks about the past, they are a slow learner. Successful people realize they don’t want to be with someone whose reality is anchored to the past.

How to improve:

Marcus Aurelius believed that it’s your perception that hurts you or helps you.

At one point, Aurelius said:

“Choose not to be harmed — and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed, and you haven’t been.”

Take life as a teacher. If you failed one exam, would you not attend class the other day? You’re paying a high price to live and survive in this world, yet you want this suffering to end.

If you want to achieve your goals, be ready to take credit for the suffering that comes your way.

Stand up because sitting down and wondering solves nothing.

4. You think everything is impossible

Negativity is a dark cloud that can overshadow even the strongest of motivations.

It’s good to be a thoughtful and critical thinker. But there’s a fine line between critical thinking and hoping something turns negative. Some people even say unhelpful things just for the sake of “I told you to so,” and successful people hate that.

How to improve:

As Marcus Aurelius believes:

“Because a thing seems difficult for you, do not think it impossible.”

Think about the bright side and the goals and efforts that will take you to reach that goal. If a plan or an idea is rational, there is no harm in trying it out. If you have the spirit, you have the right resources to meet difficulties face to face.

Of course, things don’t always plan as they should. However, be positive and contribute to rationality with an uplifting attitude.

Don’t be a naysayer.

5. You don’t live in the present

As always, we are a product of our past.

We’re not the sum of our past. Just because we’re not toddlers who’d learn a new word every day or crawl perfectly to the crib doesn’t mean we stop learning.

How to improve:

As Marcus Aurelius says:

“Never let the future disturb you. If you have to, you will meet it with the same weapons of reason which arm you against the present today.”

The present is the very moment your past and future align.

It’s like a scale where you balance both of them. The problem is that everyone’s lessons are different. Your parent’s lessons won’t benefit you as they would have been for them.

And it’s okay. The more you learn, the clearer your fortune becomes. Marcus Aurelius practiced some habits that helped him to focus on his present despite the Antonine plague and risk from the Sarmatian empire:

  • Accepting what cannot be changed
  • Practicing mindfulness
  • Focusing on the task at hand
  • Embracing impermanence

6. You learn every single day

If you’re an adventurer, you’ll realize how important it is to keep a spare pair of clothes, snacks, or shoes in your car.

Timothy Ferris believes the worst never happens. But we try to console our naive hearts and mind, making them believe we have the right resources to combat difficulties.

Nevertheless, learning and personal growth are ongoing processes and can happen at any stage of our lives.

How to improve:

Marcus Aurelius says:

“Doctors keep their scalpels and other instruments handy for emergencies. Keep your philosophy ready, too — ready to understand heaven and earth.”

Philosophy is like a cozy cottage, and you should visit often. Philosophy helps you understand problems and educates you about life through references and experiences.

See, everyone has problems!

How come philosophy connects with everyone? You must find the points where philosophy links with you and helps you move forward. Treat every day like a year and every year like a lifetime.

Never underestimate learning.

Final thoughts

As I always say:

“The lion is not the fastest, strongest, or smartest, but it’s still the king of the jungle .”

You may not be the smartest, fastest, or most educated one with money flowing through your home's pipelines, but you can be the king of the world.

Other than the mentality, everything can be bought.

Only mentality, my friend, is learned. Focus on that!

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Self Improvement
Life Lessons
Psychology
Mental Health
Mindfulness
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