LGBTQAI+
“Male Privilege Doesn’t Exist,” Said the Cisgender Heterosexual White Man
Hmmm, sounds like you have ALL the privilege
“…if people couldn’t handle thinking I was a fat white cishet ‘woman’, how could they handle knowing I am really a rounded Aboriginal agender gay boi?”
That’s a Hard Pass!
Recently, I reported an article. It had been on Medium for three months and was as harmful a post as I’ve ever seen on this platform. I wonder how much was the author’s opinion and how much was to invoke claps and comments for cash. I don’t care. I reported and blocked the author. Why? Because their article argued that male privilege doesn’t exist. And yes, I did read the article, because I am not someone who reads a title and makes assumptions about the content. Did I fall into their ‘trap’ and contribute to their funds? Probably, but if my report and block and THIS article can have an impact, it’s worth it.
Privilege is Not in the Eye of the Beholder
Merlin J. Star wrote a fantastic thought-provoking piece about privilege and marginalization and I urge you to take three minutes to go read their post.
The discussions are typically on race, gender, or sexuality, all of which I don’t have privilege in. I’m Black, nonbinary, and asexual. White US Citizens particularly get mad when I state that I don’t have privilege on these axis because that is the extent of how most of them can even think about privilege. To them, I am the most marginalized person they know.
Their post had me thinking about my own privilege and marginalization. My conclusion was that I have soooo much damn privilege, but most of it is based on incorrect assumptions. Also, most of my ‘marginalization’ is not even visible! Except for weight. I have been large my whole life (fat baby even), and boy, has that ONE visual thing had an impact from gaslighting by doctors to 13 years straight of bullying through school.
“I have soooo much damn privilege, but most of it is based on incorrect assumptions.”
I have one other visible marginalization but the funny thing is, that one isn’t even accurate. I’m perceived as a marginalized gender… when I’m actually agender — so joke’s on them? But, if people couldn’t handle thinking I was a fat white cishet ‘woman’, how could they handle knowing I am really a rounded Aboriginal agender gay boi?
Privilege Can Change
My privilege lies in my presumed privilege and the invisibility of my marginalization. Of course, how different would it be if I was also perceived as a man? Then, my only visible marginalization would be my size and yet, as a man, it wouldn’t be quite so much of an issue. I mean, as a fat girl (presumed), I was bullied by more than one fat boy (presumed…)!
My point is, I am so damned privileged because right now, I don’t ‘wear’ much of my marginalization, but most people don’t seem to realize they even have privilege. In a recent article, I wrote more about that in response to a Prism & Pen writing prompt.
If we have ‘passing’ privilege (in any capacity), unless we’ve ever experienced not having passing privilege, we just can’t fully comprehend the experience. I say this as someone with white-passing privilege. I’ll never fully understand what it is like to not be seen as white. That has its own bag of problems, but white privilege isn’t one.
Read the full article here:
But I know have I privilege, because I know what it is like to be marginalized. Moreso, I know that if my invisible marginalization was apparent, the marginalized treatment I experienced would be exponentially increased. But, I can never know (and would never claim to be able to know) what it is like to be marginalized in any area I’ve only experienced privilege.
Invisibly Blak
My skin is white because my grandmother was born with privileged skin. That reason, and that alone, is why she remained with her white mother and the white man that thought he was her father. But that’s a much longer story. Though not a defined member of the Stolen Generations, my own story has been altered drastically by the white-man-inflicted shame and silence.
I missed out on that piece of who I am. I’m searching for it now, but shame inflicts tight lips so I don’t have much to go on. I do know I have white privilege and it cost me a connection to self. Would I give up white privilege for that knowledge? I want to say yes, of course! But, I don’t know. Because I don’t know what it’s like to be without it.
I could make a comparison here between the Stolen Generations (children that were taken away from their safe and loving families by white men who decided they knew better and wanted to ‘protect the children’ from the perceived difficult life of the Aboriginal culture) and what’s happening in Florida right now. I could. I did.
Check Your Privilege
I have an abundance of privilege but I recognize it because I know how it feels to be marginalized and because much of my marginalization, is invisible. I have the biggest privilege in that I’m perceived as white. Doesn’t mean I am, but I certainly have the privilege it affords. So before you say you don’t have any privilege, are you sure?