Making Dinner Rolls Helped Turn Grief Into Contentment

I am no longer dreading the holiday season without my father

Introduction

Pleasant thoughts recently inspired me to write a story that honored my grandmother and her love of cooking. I had been thinking about the upcoming holiday season without my father. Since my father loved to eat good food and tasty snacks, I thought about the foods he would have enjoyed this time of the year as I thought about the foods I would prepare for Thanksgiving at the same time. Comfort has been recently found in thinking about the delicious dinner rolls that my grandmother taught me how to make a long time ago. Here is a link to that special story.

My thoughts were all about finding contentment in preparing and eating foods during difficult times. I can honestly say that I now fully understand the true meaning of comfort foods.

Writing that article about my grandmother propelled my inspiration into attempting the recipe again.

Thanksgiving Is Coming

While I will do my part to slow the spread of the coronavirus by remaining at home for Thanksgiving, I am still planning to have a delicious feast. Unlike last year when my home had all the family and friends it could hold, my daughter and I will simply share our pleasant meal with my mother.

My effort to make Thanksgiving day special was to prepare the dinner roll recipe that my grandmother taught me to make many years ago. To me, having her dinner rolls on our table would be a lovely way to not only honor her but to also honor the memory of my father.

Last Thanksgiving was the last one that I spent with him as he was one of the guests at my home. Sadly, he unexpectedly passed away a few months after my large holiday gathering in 2019. I wrote about it in the following story.

Since I am determined to keep memories alive, I made my grandmother’s dinner rolls.

I Tried Real Hard

I used the small food stained note pad sheet filled with the notes that I took when I stood over the kitchen sink with my grandmother in 1983. It was that year when she became my baking teacher for the day. My grandmother taught me how to make her tasty recipe for dinner rolls. Her way was an unconventional way for making rolls but it was conventional to her. She did not use standard measures. She used measures that were standard to her instead. My grandmother used her hands and fingers as her measuring and mixing tools. I translated what she showed me into traditional measures.

There are times that I wished that I would have accurately documented her precise measures. During the times that I attempted her recipe I wished that I had an old and worn tin cup like her. I would have been about to accurately replicate her recipe by using handfuls and cup fulls.

As I prepared her dinner roll recipe this time, I recaptured all of the memories of the day I was my grandmother’s student. I clearly remembered how she mixed the ingredients.

I used my grandmother’s technique as I vividly recalled how she kneaded the dinner roll dough. I did my best to remember how the dough was supposed to look and feel as I worked it her way. Even though I was taught a way known as the proper way to make bread while I studied home economics and took various food preparation courses in college, I did not use it when I made the recipe this time. The reason was simple. That proper way was not proper for my grandmother’s recipe.

I also remembered how she described how important it was to let the bread dough rest. So, I patiently waited.

My dinner roll making took the entire day to complete. It was at total of ten hours.

To this day, I find it amazing that my grandmother was able to teach me and prepare her rolls in a matter of a few hours. That was because she mastered her process. Despite the very long time that it took me, I am a little more proud of the result. While I still have a very long way to go before I perfect her recipe, each time I prepare it, my rolls are just a little bit closer to the flavor, appearance, and texture of the delicious ones that my grandmother made.

The Lessons I Learned From Attempting the Recipe Yet Again

Just as my grandmother unknowingly taught me life lessons when she taught me how to mix and bake her dinner roll recipe, I learned some powerful lessons myself when I prepared it again.

1. It is important to own your commitment to any goal that you have in life. Even though my daughter provided a little help with the recipe, she was not as interested in helping as I was eager to accomplish my unique goal. That was okay. Perhaps someday she will be ready for me to teach her, especially when I master the recipe. I realized completing my mission for the day was the goal that I exclusively worked for and was passionate about.
2. In order to be successful at something, you have to experience failure.
3. Success eventually comes if you remain focused and if you continue to work hard.
4. As you mourn the passing of a loved one, peace may be found when you establish unlikely memorials to them.
5. Thanksgiving is more than families and friends gathering together in a spirit gratitude to celebrate blessings. This holiday is also about honoring traditions that keep the memory of loved ones who have passed away alive.

Conclusion

Attempting to make my grandmother’s dinner roll recipe that she taught me many, many years ago has enabled me to focus on the true meaning of Thanksgiving. While last Thanksgiving was the last one ever to be spent with my father, I found happiness in connecting with his mother by mixing and baking her prized recipe once again. This happiness will enable me to enjoy the holiday season as my mother, daughter, and I enjoy the dinner rolls.

May your Thanksgiving be filled with happiness and enjoyment, too.

If you enjoyed this story, here are a few more that will brighten your holiday season.

Here is my golden ticket that helps me accomplish my mission.

Dr. Deborah M. Vereen is a retired Teacher and School Administrator. Her website is www.Drdeborahmvereen.com and her YouTube Channel is https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCS1DPhBeA29UlybU9jzDkdQ.