avatarHifreequencyvibez

Summary

The author reflects on personal growth and self-acceptance, acknowledging the pain of facing inner truths and the struggle to balance personal desires with external feedback.

Abstract

In "Love Will Run Cold Part 2," the author delves into a journey of self-discovery and healing, expressing raw emotions about the challenges of honoring personal space and desires while navigating relationships. The piece is a candid expression of the author's current state of mind, marked by a sense of self-neglect in an attempt to please others. The author admits to feeling disconnected and unappreciative, despite the valuable lessons learned through resistance and reflection. Emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and processing feedback effectively, the author seeks to embrace authenticity and let go of past patterns that no longer serve them. The narrative concludes with gratitude towards the readers and a nod to other meaningful works shared on the platform.

Opinions

  • The author prioritizes personal space and true desires over the potential discomfort of those around them.
  • There is a recognition of past mistakes in not addressing the core of personal pain, leading to harm in relationships.
  • The author values authenticity and prefers to express genuine feelings rather than suffer in silence.
  • The piece conveys a sense of fatigue from attempting to manage emotions and a desire to move forward without harboring "dead weight."
  • There is an acknowledgment of the importance of feedback, but also a need to discern when to protect personal ideas and boundaries.
  • The author expresses a lack of desire to commit to a vision beyond its role as a stepping stone, indicating uncertainty about the future.
  • Despite the struggle, the author is thankful for the platform to share their authentic experiences and for the community of readers and fellow writers.

Love Will Run Cold Part 2

It sucks to see myself so ugly and wounded but I don’t care. I’d rather be real than to suffer in silence.

Image by Author Hifreequencyvibez

Is My Space more important to me than the people whom I choose to share it with?

I never thought of this question until now. And I’d have to say yes. For as long as I can remember I’ve been stuffing things down, sacrificing my True Desires because I didn’t want the people around me to feel bad or neglected… But for as long as I’ve known myself to direct and guide myself, I have NEVER once included ANYONE else’s thoughts about what I WANTED from or for myself.

I am finding it is the inappropriate processing of external feedback that has continuously steered me off course. That is not meant to be taken holistically, there have been many times feedback has helped me. It is my inability to truly understand what boundaries I need to have in place and when I need them, that has stifled germinating ideas before I could even plant the seed.

As I have stated. I don’t like my life or myself right now. It is true, the pain and disgust I feel towards years of neglecting myself in efforts to please people or even more recently, trying to find a valid reason for why I don’t want the lifestyle you’re working so hard to create goes against my Spiritual Guidance.

I am learning through resistance here, and I am not nearly as appreciative as I could be (being that I have truly learned so much) because I don’t feel alive. I don’t want to be around. And as I can see it now, it’s not a forever thing, more than I face the true challenge of speaking up. It sucks to see myself so ugly and wounded but I don’t care. I’d rather be real than suffer in silence.

I don’t know how to give or receive kindness anymore. And I don’t care right now. I’m picky with whom I allow myself to be joyous and open around and I’m not okay with that. But instead of hashing out that conflict, I’d rather not be around, because I don’t care enough to see the worth of doing so. None of this is to say I don’t see an issue with the way I operate around certain people. This is just the level of disregard and resistance I meet every day.

And less than me thinking the situation would change if I hash out the conflict it’s more important for me to just own up to my Truth so I can remain empty and not harbor any dead weight moving forward. I have no idea what’s to come with this message. But I don’t have the desire to commit to this vision past a stepping stone. I just don’t know how this would work any other way.

It’s truthfully my fault because I caused so much harm by being unable to get to the core of my pain. Now all I want to do is just be real about it. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I have no real plan for the future. I don’t know what seeing this through would even look like at this point. But I know I have issues with myself and the ugly truth is, I’m tired of trying to clean up my feelings.

To all who read my words of reflection, I thank you for allowing me to express the authentic experience of my Life no matter how hard it may be. I am thankful to all of the readers and my ability to share on this platform. Feel free to check out the writings of those below. They have moved me, I hope they can resonate with you too!

Until next time…

The Yessba
Healing
Self Improvement
Self-awareness
Life
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