Love Will Run Cold Part 1

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Abstract

the longest time, I’ve sought to blame the external reality for my behavior and response to lying to myself for as long as I have. I live with deep regrets. And not making this decision consciously, or I should say, not accepting the decision to build this life I have been sharing with you is something I too regret.</p><p id="45cb">I find myself more in disgust as to how I allowed myself to be blindsided by the random and chaotic nature of reality which uprooted my ability to truly take my life into my own hands. Simply because I was unwilling to stare directly at what faced me. I have been cowardly to you. Each time I sought an out, because I never stood in the fact that I don’t want to live with anyone but you.</p><p id="69d8">Unwilling to acknowledge the constant strain the way you desire to live and the way I desire to live will inevitably place on our relationship.</p><p id="c123">Unwilling to acknowledge the fact that this very well may be an end.</p><p id="d8fd">Unwilling to fully stand up for my Truth no matter how backward or filled with pain it may appear to be.</p><p id="d80b">Unwilling to take the full burden of my decisions, instead hoping one day I’ll come around all the while wasting time living half a life.</p><p id="1641">I am uninvested to a large degree. And I can’t keep saying something about it but not doing anything about it.</p><p id="1b33">Thank you for taking the time to share space with me. If you like my work, here are some writers/ articles that have been inspiring me lately. Enjoy!</p><div id="86a6" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/3-levels-of-holiday-stress-how-to-let-them-go-fb5afa

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Love Will Run Cold Part 1

You are a lesson of Tough Love. The medicine to heal with the acceptance of the Truth that I have denied for so long.

Every day I grow more repulsed by who I show up as in spaces I hate being in. You are a lesson of Tough Love. The medicine to heal with the acceptance of the Truth that I have denied for so long. Every day I grow more repulsed by who I show up as in spaces I hate being in.

I finally realize…. I Am seeing a me I long left behind. The realization of unkind eyes peering into my hatred, unaware of the murder I sought to commit. I’ve rejected parts of me, so deep it runs through my veins, that sat stale as time seemed to devour immobilized aspects of my Spiritual Essence. I have taught my ego to settle and I have hated EVERY moment of doing so.

Truth Be told. I have no idea what we are supposed to Be. You are a lesson of Tough Love. The medicine to heal with the acceptance of the Truth that I have denied for so long. Every day I grow more repulsed by who I show up as in spaces I hate being in.

Sad to say, it’s no different with you.

Glad to say, that means it’s me.

Being with you has brought up every ugly, weak, and resistant aspect of what I have allowed to direct and guide my perceptions and actions. And for the longest time, I’ve sought to blame the external reality for my behavior and response to lying to myself for as long as I have. I live with deep regrets. And not making this decision consciously, or I should say, not accepting the decision to build this life I have been sharing with you is something I too regret.

I find myself more in disgust as to how I allowed myself to be blindsided by the random and chaotic nature of reality which uprooted my ability to truly take my life into my own hands. Simply because I was unwilling to stare directly at what faced me. I have been cowardly to you. Each time I sought an out, because I never stood in the fact that I don’t want to live with anyone but you.

Unwilling to acknowledge the constant strain the way you desire to live and the way I desire to live will inevitably place on our relationship.

Unwilling to acknowledge the fact that this very well may be an end.

Unwilling to fully stand up for my Truth no matter how backward or filled with pain it may appear to be.

Unwilling to take the full burden of my decisions, instead hoping one day I’ll come around all the while wasting time living half a life.

I am uninvested to a large degree. And I can’t keep saying something about it but not doing anything about it.

Thank you for taking the time to share space with me. If you like my work, here are some writers/ articles that have been inspiring me lately. Enjoy!