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Abstract

flecting on why a situation is difficult and why I was triggered. Today, we are looking specifically at those triggers and how perhaps how I can acknowledge, reflect, and appreciate them.</p><h1 id="bbbe">Triggered by shame</h1><p id="d01c">I was recently triggered by someone using the word SHAME. It was used in a fun, light, and joking manner, but I was still triggered because though not intended with any malice, the context was that someone was not doing ‘enough’ and therefore, should feel ‘shame’.</p><p id="315e">If you’ve been reading my posts every day, you know that I’ve mentioned that out of the three universal fears, I am most impacted by the <b><i>FEAR OF NOT BEING ENOUGH.</i></b> Add to that a lot of childhood trauma around shame and it’s no wonder I felt the trigger!</p><p id="432b">So, I acknowledged it. I told the person I had that conversation with that I was triggered by it and needed to process why. I’m very happy to say that the person in question is someone I already knew I could share this depth of self-awareness with without judgment — <b>to them, I am always enough.</b></p><h1 id="f17f">Stumbling block to reflection</h1><p id="6a0e">And that’s as far as I got. I have not yet spent time on reflection nor have I found the lesson to appreciate and that is why this question today is so important. I acknowledged the trigger and then looked away. Because triggers are called that for a reason — they trigger a spark of something that doesn’t feel good.</p><p id="ea92" type="7">Memory. Trauma. Pain. Fear. Hopelessness. Loss.</p><p id="f2da">To go from acknowledging to reflecting in order to allow appreciation, there must be another step.</p><h1 id="d6b3">Is it acceptance?</h1><p id="f06f" type="7">How can I tend to my triggers with love?</p><ul><li>Accept that they are a trigger and that’s ok.</li><li>Accept that something happened that I have not yet moved past, and that’s ok.</li><li>Accept that I don’t need to have all of the

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answers right now.</li><li>Accept that sometimes, it takes time to be ready to reflect.</li><li>Accept that no matter what, I’m ok. I’m doing the work on me and when I’m ready, the way forward will be clear.</li><li>Accept that it’s not my fault and I am enough.</li></ul><p id="10c0"><b>If you are interested in the journey so far — all the days that came before, I’ve collected all the article links here:</b></p><div id="8bfa" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/50-questions-for-deep-self-reflection-22351d1e3073"> <div> <div> <h2>50 Questions for Deep Self-Reflection</h2> <div><h3>50 days of self-discovery</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*r-YRvlz_pN5JAdMk)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="7aad"><i>Don’t miss out on anything! Follow/subscribe for notifications and be the first to catch my latest articles. Run out of free reads? <a href="https://kp-the-writer.medium.com/membership">Click here to join Medium now</a> for access to everything. Please note, this is an affiliate link and I receive a financial reward if you follow the link to join. Thank you for feeding the author!</i></p><div id="7744" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/about-me-kp-the-writer-f56a5e65ea7e"> <div> <div> <h2>About Me — KP-the-Writer</h2> <div><h3>Podcaster, writer, and queer, oh my</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*7yTzy4Uqux13evoV0WoMpw.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

SELF-IMPROVEMENT

Love them Triggers

Day 20, 50 questions for deep self-reflection

Photo by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona on Unsplash

This is day 20 of the 50 Questions for Deep Self-Reflection challenge from Know Thyself Heal Thyself created by Diana C.

DAY TWENTY: How can you tend to your triggers with love?

An extension of yesterday

Day 19 asked, “How can you honor a difficult situation before moving on from it?” My response was to acknowledge it, reflect on why it was difficult (including how I was triggered), and appreciate the lessons.

I feel like today’s question invokes the same response but with more refinement. Yesterday, I spoke about reflecting on why a situation is difficult and why I was triggered. Today, we are looking specifically at those triggers and how perhaps how I can acknowledge, reflect, and appreciate them.

Triggered by shame

I was recently triggered by someone using the word SHAME. It was used in a fun, light, and joking manner, but I was still triggered because though not intended with any malice, the context was that someone was not doing ‘enough’ and therefore, should feel ‘shame’.

If you’ve been reading my posts every day, you know that I’ve mentioned that out of the three universal fears, I am most impacted by the FEAR OF NOT BEING ENOUGH. Add to that a lot of childhood trauma around shame and it’s no wonder I felt the trigger!

So, I acknowledged it. I told the person I had that conversation with that I was triggered by it and needed to process why. I’m very happy to say that the person in question is someone I already knew I could share this depth of self-awareness with without judgment — to them, I am always enough.

Stumbling block to reflection

And that’s as far as I got. I have not yet spent time on reflection nor have I found the lesson to appreciate and that is why this question today is so important. I acknowledged the trigger and then looked away. Because triggers are called that for a reason — they trigger a spark of something that doesn’t feel good.

Memory. Trauma. Pain. Fear. Hopelessness. Loss.

To go from acknowledging to reflecting in order to allow appreciation, there must be another step.

Is it acceptance?

How can I tend to my triggers with love?

  • Accept that they are a trigger and that’s ok.
  • Accept that something happened that I have not yet moved past, and that’s ok.
  • Accept that I don’t need to have all of the answers right now.
  • Accept that sometimes, it takes time to be ready to reflect.
  • Accept that no matter what, I’m ok. I’m doing the work on me and when I’m ready, the way forward will be clear.
  • Accept that it’s not my fault and I am enough.

If you are interested in the journey so far — all the days that came before, I’ve collected all the article links here:

Don’t miss out on anything! Follow/subscribe for notifications and be the first to catch my latest articles. Run out of free reads? Click here to join Medium now for access to everything. Please note, this is an affiliate link and I receive a financial reward if you follow the link to join. Thank you for feeding the author!

Self Improvement
Self-awareness
Mental Health
Self
Growth
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