Looking At Myself
Self Improvement
I believe to be truly happy in life you need to be able to love yourself and part of that is being happy with your own development as a person, yes we are talking about self-improvement.
Over the years I have read countless books and articles, and even watched Youtube videos on how to self improve, many of which I found very cheesy thinking to myself, now one can be that happy all of the time.
I still agree with that, we all have down days, and all need a shoulder to cry on, however, I believe self-improvement is all about your attitude and how you speak to others, I am a massive believer in positive language.
There are some key things you need to do to self improve as a person and each day you should think about them, almost like a to-do list.
Sleep well
If you get a good night sleep, when you wake up you will feel fresh, try saying good morning to yourself and tell yourself that today is going to be a great day, yes actually say that out loud.
If you are lying next to someone and they hear you, they of course will ask what you said, or they might respond in kind, what a wonderful way to start your morning.
Start your day positively
If possible eat healthily during your day, this will not only give you a feel-good factor but also help you stop feeling lethargic, take your vitamins and flush your system through with a litre of water.
Say hello with s smile
A very simple task, say hello to at least five people in the morning, however, I want you to say this in a friendly manner with a big smile on your face. I expect you to get a similar response in return, this may lead to conversations with your friends, family or work colleagues, and it is a great way to start a conversation.
Change the way you communicate
If someone asks what you did last night, they probably have zero interest that you argued with your partner, or you are fed up with the kids not going to bed on time etc. if that is all you have to say, then your best option is to talk about something you are looking forward to, bring the conversation onto a positive point, no one likes a moaner
This is not something you will change easily, we are human and it is in nature to moan, this is what separates people from each other and this is the single hardest thing to master, however it will give you the biggest and best reward.
As an example, a customer comes into your place of work and asks a question you do not know the answer to, you could say, “I am not sure sorry, it is not my department” or as a positive response you could say, “I know someone who can help with that question, let me get them for you so that we can find a solution”.
Now in the eyes of that customer, the words you used in both replies will make them feel very different, you can and will have an impact on every person you speak to.
People love speaking to my wife, they say she always seems happy and is so positive in her speech, she is a great person to be around and you always feel inspired by her.
The reality is, she works very hard, helps to run a house and brings up our kids, very often she is tired both mentally and physically. so how does she pull this off?
Simple, she chooses her words carefully and speaks with a smile, even if she does not feel like it. Yes she makes an effort, nothing comes easy in life, you do have to work at it, and you have to accept you will not be perfect every time.
Practice makes perfect
Rubbish, who came up with that phrase? and why do we all believe in it? and I will give you my logic behind that comment.
If you practice something incorrectly twenty times, how will that make it perfect? See now you are thinking outside the box like myself, the real answer is “perfect practice makes perfect”
If you practice something perfectly twenty times, you will have a better chance of perfecting it, it is not rocket science, is it?
Another phrase that winds me up, is this one “is the pint glass half-full or half-empty?” this is often asked in an interview type scenario, anyone with half a brain, even if they are lying will say “half-full”
My brain works differently, and I think this is what makes me stand out from the average person, not always to my benefit. My answer would be, “it is an opportunity to have a drink”
Confidence
It takes a while to build, however, if you start trying these very basic tips and use them consistently, you will “self-improve” this, in turn, will help you build confidence in the process and your results will improve.
I actually practised two things to help with my confidence, the first thing I did was go to church and see how the minister captures his audience (I am not a religious person), the second thing I did was talk to a tree.
Yes, I did just say that, I tried to move further away each time and project my voice at different distances, without needing to shout, I trained my voice to sound more confident and dominating.
The last thing I did was to put myself into an uncomfortable situation as often as I could, now this takes a lot of guts, but rewarding when you start to feel more confident about it. I decided to speak in public and each time tried to speak in bigger groups.
All eyes would be on me, which was daunting, I have now spoken in front of over 5,000 people and I did not bat an eyelid, it was easy, but I took time, reflected on my performances and found ways to improve.
Take it slowly
Don’t try to do everything at once, start with the basics and build your way up, I read a book many years ago called “Who moved my cheese” and that was the catalyst for trying to improve myself as a person, it is a very simple book to read, I identified with one of the four mice in the story and it helped me to look at things from a different perspective.
I hope you found this read inspiring and I would love to hear your comments and any suggestions you may have.
Written by Robert Ralph
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