Life Is This: You Get What You Give
Love your personal relationships
As good relationships with friends or partners have a wonderful impact on our lives, here are a few things I have learned that really transform personal relationships for the better.
Love, kindness and respect
In my experience, ‘Love is better than judgement — most of the time’ Meaning: Showing love, kindness and respect in personal relationships not only makes our lives richer and more meaningful, it also brings out the best in others and helps them to speak their truth. This also strengthens us, and delivers more peace, joy and courage than negative judgements or criticizm ever will.
‘It is the property of fools to be always judging’ — (Thomas Fuller)
Be generous and altruistic
In personal relationships, as far as possible, be generous with your time, attention, affection, material things and anything you possibly can be. Be a force for good and help out your friends or partner wherever you can. Let people know you are there to support them in times of need.
By helping others, we increase our ability to feel strong and competent in the face of challenges, which can serve us well in other aspects life.
‘Give out what you most want to come back’ — (Robin Sharma)
In my experience, real generosity of any kind says a lot more about a person than they realize. At the heart of it, generosity says that you care for and enjoy meeting the needs and desires of someone else and your intention is to please them, and that is a really wonderful, memorable quality.
Always think before you speak
When talking to a friend or partner, remember, you can never really take back anything hurtful that is said, as, even if people forgive you, they may not forget your words and may feel troubled whenever they remember. It’s better to say nothing than to be offensive and cause pain.
‘When in doubt, leave it out’ — (Joshua Bloch).
By thinking first, you keep a good conscience and won’t end up as someone people resent or lose respect for.
‘Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle’ — (J.M. Barrie)
Negative behaviours to avoid
Try not to be a constant complainer or make conversations all about yourself, and don’t gossip about friends to other friends. Not only does this make you seem untrustworthy but it implies you enjoy chewing people over, which isn’t nice or necessary.
‘You’re either part of the solution, or you’re part of the problem’ — (Eldridge Cleaver)
Assumptions
In conversations, don’t assume you know all about your friend (or partner) and their previous history, or what is good for them. This often gets people into hot water as they overstep the mark by wading in on things they know nothing about, but feel they have a right to examine anyway. A little humility goes a long way.
‘Leave people better than you found them’ — (Marvin J. Ashton)
People that ‘meddle’ often don’t understand human boundaries or respect that all people have a right to keep their own secrets if they wish to.
Positive behaviors that help all relationships
Good conversations
When having conversations, try to be a kind, careful and interested listener/talker and give your full undivided attention. Everybody wants to feel ‘seen and heard’ and this is a great way to make someone feel respected and valued. People won’t forget how good you made them feel either.
Honest communication
Always communicate things that concern you. Openness is the key to healthy relationships and you have a right to be curious and find the answers you need. Always have total respect for yourself and your true values, no matter what other people do or believe.
Natural talents and skills
Use all your natural and positive attributes in any way you can to inspire and excite your relationships. Give freely to people wherever you can and it won’t take long for those good vibes to come back around.
When we balance taking positive action on our own behalf with reaching out to focus on helping others, we increase our sense of value, fulfilment, connection and meaning in the world, thereby creating a lot of good feeling in ourselves and the people we are with, so it’s a win-win.
Finally, I hope the above is helpful to you and that your valued relationships become more joyful and rewarding as a result.
Thanks for reading!
© America Zed. Other Stories by America Zed.