Life Lessons
Lessons from My 30s Thus Far
Life is not a race
Next week will be my 32nd birthday. Every year around this time, I write a reflection. This time, I wrote about what I have learned and hope to experience in my thirties.
I want to have children someday.
Depression and anxiety have plagued me with concerns regarding the future — specifically, whether I should have children. My greatest fear has been that if they inherit my mental health conditions, I will not be prepared to advocate for them. I also fear that my time for having biological children is running out. After a lot of thought, here are three things I realized.
- Other people have had the same concerns. They have still become wonderful parents.
- People are having children later in life. So the same can happen to me.
- There are three things I need to do first — improve my mental health, find a sustainable career, and get married to a compatible partner.
God has better plans for me than I have for myself.
Even though I still struggle with anxiety often, knowing that God has my best interest in mind helps me find peace. There have been so many times when I thought it would be the end of the world if my plans did not work out. I felt stuck in jobs where I was verbally abused every day. It seemed like I would never get a job I would enjoy, and I would never find the right partner for me.
After a lot of prayer and thought reformations, I realized that God has already shown me how His plans are at work.
- He provided me with a job where I feel respected.
- He provided me with new friends I never would have met if I had not struggled.
- He provided me with the courage to be vulnerable and publish more stories.
- He will keep showing me His plans, which are unfathomable to me right now.
Patience and faith are important.
In November 2021, I started a search for my biological family. It took several months, but I eventually connected with a few relatives and even met my biological uncle in person. It was a very positive experience. Even though I am still waiting to hear from and meet other relatives including my biological parents, I know that I just need to be patient. As I said in my last point, God has a plan. If it is in His will for me to meet my biological family, it will be in His timing.
Life is not a race.
Comparing my success to that of my peers made me feel old. For instance, my friends are already married with children and have nice houses and high-paying careers. Not having those things made me wonder if something was wrong with me. But the truth is that life does not happen the way I want it to, and that is okay. I just need to accept myself, embrace the present, and remember that my journey is unique. Also, in the grand scheme of things, I am still young. There is no need to rush my dreams and desires.
Thank you for reading my reflections on my thirties thus far. If you enjoyed this article, check out some of my other work below.
- My Current Insights on Difficult Journeys
- Take Comfort in God’s Plans
- Five Lessons I Learned as a Mental Health Blogger
- Six Affirmations for Hope
- Finding My Biological Family Is Helping My Emotional Health
- Meeting My Biological Relative Improved My Mental Health
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