Adultery Academy

Lesson Two— Are You Sure You Want To Have An Affair?

Cheating is Low and Dirty

Should I or Shouldn’t I?

Having an affair is a big step in anyone’s life.

Failure is not a viable option. Precisely why the failure stories were in Lesson One. You should never stop thinking about all the ways you can fail, because it only takes once.

The Adultery Academy’s primary purpose is to help cheaters who want to keep their primary relationship.

What the Enemy Thinks

You probably don’t need to be reminded what people think of cheaters, because you probably once thought those things yourself. But you should remind yourself occasionally what a turd you are.

From the Good Men Project —

8 Excuses Used to Justify Cheating in a Relationship That Are Total BS

Six Types of Cheaters

Six types of cheaters. We all have our own reasons to cheat, but they aren’t that unique. We all fall into one category or two or maybe a bit of all of them (if we are honest).

Which one are you?

Trying It On For Size

You might fit one of the six types of cheater, but never have an affair. Cheating isn’t for everyone. This article discusses an “almost” cheater who popped up on Reddit’s r/adultery to check the scene out.

I would recommend you go have a look. Every question you’ll ever have has been answered on that subReddit. If you do, don’t be an ass about it like the guy in the article. Good cheaters aren’t judgemental. Glass houses and all that jazz.

Pro Tip — On Reddit, use a throw-away account and email to register it. If you read the Avoiding Failure article in Lesson One, you’ll know why. And incognito browsers, people!

Keeping “THE” Secret

You’ll want to keep your affair secret, but it’s hard to keep a secret. Teresa has two coworkers who were cheated on so she has very strong feelings about it. How would their view of her change if they knew? The social stigma and shame are real.

Keeping your liasons a secret is hard, but when you let it out, it’s out. You need to trust whoever you tell, and trust them with your life, because your life, as you know it, will be in their hands.

Protecting Your Life

Whether you tell people or not, there are some people you need to keep your secret from. Sometimes, there’s more at risk than your family. The risks Teresa faces are outlined in her story. When you read it, think about the wider risks you face beyond your family. Job? Social status? All could be in jeopardy.

When You Know

Sometimes, despite everything, you just know. No one else can tell you when to cheat, or why. You’re the only one who can figure that out. That’s pretty lame advice, but it’s true. If you’re thinking about it, you’ll come to your own decision. Here’s when Teresa knew she needed to find someone.

Too Cheat or Not To Cheat — That is the question.

And finally, here are Teresa’s five reasons she cheats instead of divorcing.

Lesson Summary

No matter your reason for cheating, no one cares why you were unfaithful. There are six types of cheaters and knowing your type will help you assess future pAP’s, and your compatibility.

Before you decide get a reality check from the subReddit r/adultery. It will open your eyes and test your ideas. Then ask yourself, can I live with this secret? Ask yourself who you can trust and more importantly who you can’t.

Then think about your wider life beyond your own family — your extended family, your social network, your work —and ask yourself what risks are you taking there. Can you handle them?

And after all that, ask yourself if it’s for you. Teresa knew and then went looking. MonalisaSmiled had the “camel’s back” moment as well. If you’re here and curious, make sure you know before you start, because you can’t un-pop this balloon.

Pandora’s box stays open. We both know this well.

Even if no one ever finds out you cheated, you will always know, so you’d better be able to live with it.

Back to Lesson One — Adulterous Language and How Cheaters Fail

Next Lesson Three — Affair Partner Selection and Management

MonalisaSmiled & Teresa J. Conway © 2020