Why Learning to Let Go Helps You Become Better

And how you can relax to help improve your mental health tremendously

We live in a society.

And living in a society is stressful.

Everyone seems obsessed with being the best versions of ourselves. It seems as if you have to work out every morning, read 2 books every week, work at your day job, own a successful side hustle, maintain a happy family, be free to master a hobby and yet, still be able to watch every new Netflix hit in order to discuss the show over lunch with your friends.

And if all of those sound impossible, don’t worry, it is.

Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be your very best self. Setting positive expectations encourages you to work harder and smarter toward your personal goals.

However, our culture encourages us to create unrealistic expectations for ourselves.

All you have to do is to log into your social media accounts to see everyone else (except for you) living their best life.

And because everybody seems to be maximising every single second of their lives achieving their next big dream, you’re forced to care too much and stress over what you could have achieved:

“If only I took the chance to bike home from work after Friday” “If only I had sacrificed a few hours of sleep to work on a side job” “If only I had spent the time waiting for my Uber reading a book.”

With so many “if only”s, it’s no wonder why our mental health would deteriorate over time.

Additionally, caring about so many different things is a huge waste of time and energy, reducing your overall productivity in the long run. Caring too much forces you to dedicate too much of your time to things that don’t matter while you chase after a life where happiness is simply a façade.

What excessive stress does to you

According to Justine Clarabut at Wellbeing People, when you’re overloaded with stress, physical symptoms such as headaches, tension in your neck and shoulders, fatigue, and poor sleep could plague you.

This creates a vicious cycle where your productivity falls due to the physical manifestation of your stress, in turn causing you to become even more stressed due to the fall in productivity.

All you have to do is let go

“Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is relax” Mark Black

Let go of your unfounded fears. It doesn’t matter if you fail now or if you jumble up a few lines in your presentation. No one is going to remember next month (or even next week).

Let go of things that stress you out. If you don’t have the energy to engage in a side hustle, forget it and focus more on yourself.

Understand what you care about and cherish those values. Spend time with the friends and family that truly matter. Let go of all the things and people that don’t matter.

But most of all, let go of your guilt.

You aren’t a terrible human being for wanting to care more about your own mental health. You don’t have to loathe yourself for not being able to bake the best banana bread. You don’t have to be guilty for not being busy.

Once you let go of all this unnecessary stress and guilt, you’ll find that you have so much more time and energy for everything else that truly matters.

And you’ll finally be able to devote yourself and be your very best for the things that truly matter.

Benefits for letting go

According to Clarabut, apart from allowing you to have more time and energy for the things that truly matter, letting go and relaxing can actually bring about many other benefits for your mental health.

They include improving concentration, reducing anger and frustration, possibly lowering your blood pressure and helping you become happier in your day to day life.

Furthermore, you wouldn’t have to deal with the negative effects of being overly stressed.

Here are some relaxation tips for you to begin letting go today:

1. Visualisation and Slow Breathing

Whenever you find yourself in a stressful environment, it might be useful to take a short break to take a few deep breaths. Combine your deep breathing with mental images of calming places and allow yourself to relax for a short moment.

By doing so, you’re allowing yourself calm down and become more focused. After a short break, you’ll find that you’ll be readier to face whatever stands in your way.

According to Harvard Health Publishing, breath focus can be very helpful for people with eating disorders as it helps with focusing on our bodies in a positive way. You’ll also be able to disengage yourself from distracting thoughts and feelings, helping you to focus better at the task at hand.

Furthermore, a 2016 study found that deep breathing plays a positive role in reducing stress, inducing a positive improvement to one’s mood.

2. Meditation or Relaxing Exercises

According to research done by Johns Hopkins University, mindfulness meditation programmes were linked to a reduction in anxiety.

When you have more time, practicing some meditation can be extremely helpful for you to wash away your worries and let go of all the unnecessary stress in your life. When done correctly, meditation allows you to focus on the moment and reduce your anxiety for the things that have already happen (or will be happening in the future).

In fact, Dr Mike Roizen, the chief wellness officer at the Cleveland Clinic highly suggests that everyone learn meditation techniques that work for them, reminding us that there is no negative side effects to meditation at all despite the benefits they bring. Furthermore, he claims that long-term meditation can help reduce the risk of depression as it actually has a positive impact on your brain’s chemistry. (Research has suggested that certain meditation techniques help reduce the release of cytokines, a chemical that could lead to the development of depression.)

Meditation also helps you improve your concentration. A study published in Psychological Science concluded that just 2 weeks of mindfulness training allows one to increase focus and improve cognitive performance.

For those who find themselves unable to sit down for the extended periods of time required for meditation, you can try taking part in relaxing exercises such as yoga and tai chi. These activities combine rhythmic breathing with simple exercises, allowing you to ground yourself while allowing you to sweat it out.

Also, as Harvard Health Publishing has pointed out, these activities can also enhance your flexibility and balance while helping you let go of stress that bogs you down in your day-to-day activities.

3. Take a break

The best way for you to let go is for you to take breaks.

Go for a walk, watch a show you like, read a book or simply plug in some of your favourite music.

By making the effort to move away from your routine and give yourself some time to breathe, you’ll be able to give your body and mind the rest it deserves. Use this time to forget about all that has been plaguing your mind and create a safe space for yourself.

Furthermore, these activities do have numerous benefits as well. Walking helps improve blood circulation and improve energy levels, especially if you spend most of the sitting down.

For those who chose to partake in a sport, a study by Feifei Wang highlights the positive effects moderate physical activities have on sleep quality. By ensuring that your sleep quality is improved, you’ll find yourself more well-rested and ready to deal with the stresses of daily live.

And for the music lovers, Dr Valorie Salimpoor found that when you listen to music you like, dopamine is released, allowing you to feel emotions like “happiness, excitement, and joy”.

Whatever you choose to do, just remind yourself that there is absolutely nothing wrong with letting go.

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