Having a Language Tandem Partner Can Help You at Every Language Level

…and you might gain a friend.

No matter how you are learning a language, be it at school, university, or at home as a self-taught learner: Practicing with native speakers is key to progress. I’ve had several language exchange partners to improve my Italian and Spanish and I can promise you that I have progressed a lot, learned tons about my tandem partner’s cultures, and found a few friends with whom I am still in touch.

In this text, I’d like to share my experience and talk about my answers to the following questions:

• What on earth is a language tandem?
• How can I find a tandem partner?
• What is the best way to practice both languages?
• (How) can we start both languages from scratch?
• What should I avoid?
• What alternatives are there if I can’t find a single tandem partner?

What is a language tandem?

A language tandem usually consists of two people with different mother tongues willing to learn or to improve in the other person’s mother tongue. In regular meetings, both languages are spoken, or exercises are made in both languages.

The people participating in a language tandem can be called “language exchange partners” or “(language) tandem partners”. The word “tandem” literally means “alongside each other; together”. You might also know that a tandem can be a bicycle with seats for two riders who pedal one behind the other.

How to find a tandem partner for your target language

In the past few years, as I was doing my bachelor’s in Germany and in France, I figured out different ways of finding a tandem partner.

1 Through Facebook: This is an easy way for people of different age groups and professions, especially in big cities. There are usually Facebook groups called “Tandem partner [insert your city]” or “Language exchange [insert your city]”. You can reply to other people’s posts or write a post yourself, in which you describe where you come from, which language(s) you speak, and which language(s) you would like to learn.

I have found several Italian tandems trough Facebook and since you do not know the person beforehand and it is like a blind date, I recommend you meet at a public place first.

If you’re living in a small town or prefer meeting people online, joining a Facebook group can still be useful. I recommend you join a group called “Learn [insert your target language]” and ask if there are native speakers in the group that are willing to form a tandem with you. I haven’t done this myself but trying never hurts.

2 Through a notice in your university: It might be slightly different in every country, but German and French universities both have language centers. Those are buildings reserved for the language department and usually offer blackboards where you can hang up your own quest for a tandem partner. This is how I found my first Italian tandem partner: She had put a handwritten note saying that she was looking for a German to improve her language skills.

3 Through your university’s language tandem program: I have also had success with this. If you are a student, scan the website for a language tandem section. If they have it, they usually offer to match you with somebody. You put in one of your native languages and the other person theirs, then you tick your priority which can be “person in the same field of study” or “same-sex” and you might soon receive an email telling you that a tandem partner has been found for you.

4 Through personal encounters: This might be the hardest way, but if you are somehow able to meet a person who speaks your target language, you can suggest forming a language tandem. Look for events in your city or town where you might encounter several people from a country speaking your target language. I went to a Colombian party (a festivity called “Día de las velitas”) at my university and met a very nice Colombian guy who told me he would like to improve his German. I asked whether he would be interested in language exchange and we soon met for more or less regular language practice in Spanish and German. We have been meeting for over half a year and have become friends.

5 Through special websites: I personally have no experience with this, but as you google “language tandem [insert your target language]”, you will most probably be shown different websites dedicated to nothing but finding a language tandem partner. You can reply to recent posts that correspond to your search or write one yourself.

How to speak both languages

Congrats, you have found a tandem partner! Now what?

If you and your tandem partner already speak their target language as an upper beginner or an intermediate speaker, there are different ways of practicing the two languages.

Let’s say that I, a German, have found an Italian tandem partner. One way of talking can be that I only speak German and my tandem partner only speaks Italian.

A more common way is probably the other way around: I speak my target language (Italian) and my tandem partner speaks my mother tongue (German) so that we both get to speak the language we are less comfortable in.

However, I figured out that my favorite way is to speak each of the languages exclusively for a certain amount of time, be it fifteen minutes or half an hour. First only German, then only Italian. You can set a timer or “go with the flow” and switch language after that time. I feel like this is the most natural and helpful way of doing it since it feels like having a normal conversation. In “real life”, you would most probably stick to one language during one conversation.

These conversations can be like meet-ups with a friend where you talk about your life, but you can also select a topic you want to know more vocabulary in beforehand and talk about that. Let’s say your tandem partner studies musicology wants to spend a semester abroad. They might want to learn words related to music. The topic can also be a particular interest, like cooking or politics.

How to start from scratch as a tandem

When I started learning Italian in 2017 with a class at university, the only previous knowledge that I had was my fluent French and my basic Spanish (which definitely helped, needless to say). Nevertheless, I was a complete beginner in Italian and could not form sentences or understand a native speaker yet.

Therefore, my tandem partner who had an upper beginner’s level and I met and wrote down dialogues, first in one language, then in the other. They would be about ordering a coffee, cooking pasta or preparing breakfast. We communicated mostly in my native language and in English, which is risky — in the end, we found out we had many common friends from university and ended up speaking and writing mostly in English.

I would say that if both tandem partners are complete beginners in their target language, it is probably very useful to have a third language (which would often be English) as a common ground and a means of communication. I haven’t experienced such a situation yet.

What to avoid

Try to keep it equal: For both people to progress, they need to be able to practice. If the other person has a higher level in a certain language, do not let that discourage you and ask for your target language to be spoken or exercised as well. It is all too comfortable to choose only one of the languages because the conversation flows better in that one language.

If it is the other way around and you speak your target language better than your partner, try to muster patience when your tandem takes more time to form a sentence and needs time to think about certain words.

While is it not the primary goal of having a tandem partner, most of my tandem partners became friends. Even if we might not be in touch regularly because we do not live in the same city anymore, both sides assume that we would be able to visit that person if we were to travel to the other person’s home country.

I do not recommend continuing a tandem “partnership” with a person you feel uncomfortable with. A German friend of mine used to have a British tandem partner who was constantly nagging her and really didn’t sound like a nice person to hang out with. I personally would not want to meet that person only for the sake of language learning.

Also, even though it might sound exaggerated: Beware of a person’s intentions. I have made the experience of meeting guys as platonic language partners who then asked me to go to the movies with him or to date him. That was simply not what I wanted, so I usually cut the contact. Of course, there are some people for whom a simple tandem partner becomes a life partner. It is up to you to decide if you are potentially up for a romantic relationship. This goes for all genders!

Alternatives to a single tandem partner

It might be hard to find one person who has enough time and motivation to meet for regular language practice. In that case, you could register on the app “Tandem” and text or call people through the app. Let people know your level in different languages in your profile and then look for people who have mastered your target language.

I used this app for two months several years ago but was soon annoyed by new people (especially men) texting me relentlessly with “hi” — it began to feel like a dating app. Some people are also easily irritable when you don’t respond immediately. Furthermore, I love meeting people in real life (now that we have experienced the corona restrictions more than ever).

Another way of encountering people in real life are language cafes or polyglot meetups. Many universities offer weekly language cafes where people can practice different languages at different tables or simply talk to people in different languages. The same goes for polyglot meetups which are usually open to are larger public, hence also for non-students.

When I was living in Lyon (France), I sometimes attended “polyglot meetups” organized via Facebook. Those are gatherings held outside as a pick-nick or in a bar and there is usually a pretty big group attending. I once met a guy there who turned out to be a young professor at the university I was studying at — that was funny but also slightly awkward. Some bars or coffee houses offer regular language practice evenings that you can attend — e.g. a French-German language evening twice a month.

© Annika Erika 2020

Do you have any experience with language tandems? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!

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