avatarBob James

Summary

Bob James humorously details his attempts to bribe curators with various enticements, including a cheesecake recipe, a Tesla Model X test drive, and access to a luxurious home, in exchange for featuring his content in specific categories on a publishing platform.

Abstract

In a satirical piece, Bob James addresses the curators of a publishing platform, attempting to negotiate the inclusion of his work in desired categories. He offers a series of bribes, starting with a coveted cheesecake recipe from Mrs. Crumble, which he has strategically placed in a library for their perusal. He escalates his offers to include a joyride in his neighbor's Tesla Model X and, most audaciously, exclusive access to his brother-in-law's upscale home in upstate New York while the owner is away. James emphasizes the value of these offerings, highlighting the quality of the cheesecake, the luxury of the Tesla, and the amenities of the home, including a pool, sauna, and nearby hiking trails. He sets a deadline for the curators to accept his proposal, mentioning that he has already received a competing offer of weekly curation for a year. The piece concludes with James expressing his anticipation for a favorable response from the curators.

Opinions

  • The author, Bob James, appears to view the process of content curation as a system that can be influenced or even bypassed through personal favors or bribes.
  • He seems to believe that the curators are motivated by material gains and that they might be swayed by offers of luxury items or experiences.
  • The tone of the piece suggests a critique of the subjective and potentially corruptible nature of content curation, where personal connections or incentives might hold more weight than the quality of the content itself.
  • James's willingness to offer increasingly valuable items indicates his

HUMOR

I’ve Now Resorted to Bribing The Curators

If at first you don’t succeed, try giving them stuff

Photo by Renate Vanaga on Unsplash

Psst, Curators – it’s me,

I trust that this missive finds you well. Or if not well, at least beneficent.

I’ve been able to snag a copy of Mrs. Crumble’s recipe for strawberry cheesecake, which I’m willing to let go in exchange for a curation in dessert.

I’ve left a small sample in the non-fiction section of the Wallingford library as an incentive.

It’s behind the copy of The Oxford Encyclopedia of Wheat Germ, Vol. 43, which I think it’s safe to assume won’t be going anywhere, anytime soon.

I am also prepared to offer an alternative in the shape of my neighbor’s new Model X. I could slot you in for a thirty minute drive this Sunday, while he’s at church, if that suits. It seats four comfortably.

I’m afraid both offers combined is out of the question, unless you’re prepared to throw in a week of curation in a topic of my choice.

I think you’ll find this to be a more than acceptable arrangement. The Model X is a very nice ride with breathtaking performance, and I can personally attest to the airiness of Mrs. Crumble’s shortcake crust.

This has just come in at the last minute. I have it on good authority my brother-in-law will be away on business this coming week. He has a lovely home in upstate New York, and I happen to know he never locks the back door.

You could pretty much have the run of the place for almost seven days.

I’m confident you won’t find an offer better than this one. I can hold it open for you until noon, but I can’t make any guarantees as to availability after that time.

This is a very nice home in the Catskills with a pool and sauna, plus trails nearby suitable for both the novice and more experienced hiker.

Please bid appropriately. Serious offers of curation only will be considered.

I have already received an offer of a one year supply of weekly curation in This Happened to Me from curator Dave R.

I await your timely response.

Yours in the ever-shrinking realms of eternal hopefulness,

Bob James

The above was spawned by the below prompt from Susan Brearley:

Humor
Satire
Curation
Dessert
Bribery
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