Summary

The article is a humorous take on the curation process, written from the perspective of a curator who is also the writer's mother.

Abstract

The article begins with a teasing tone, implying that the writer has been trying to figure out the curation process. It then lists the writer's beliefs about what is required for a post to be curated, including perfect grammar, adherence to curation guidelines, proper use of quotes and citations, and politeness towards editors and fellow writers. Despite these efforts, the writer's best work sometimes goes uncurated, while less polished pieces are curated. The secret to this, according to the curator, is that they are also the writer's mother, and they prefer regular submissions over overly polished work that takes too long to produce. The article ends with a prompt for other writers to write a humorous piece to their favorite curator.

Opinions

The curator suggests that over-analysis and perfectionism can actually hinder the curation process.
The curator implies that they are more likely to curate work that is submitted regularly, even if it is not perfect.
The curator playfully suggests that they will become cranky if they don't receive enough submissions or if the submissions take too long to produce.
The article encourages a lighthearted and humorous approach to the curation process.

HUMOR

I Am a Curator

And I’m going to tell you, definitively, how it works

I know you’ve been trying to figure it out. You’ve been wondering for months. Exactly how does this system work?

Today, this greatest of all mysteries will be unveiled.

Here is what you currently believe. Tell me if I got this right.

You believe you must have perfect grammar and that you need to follow all the curation guidelines to a T. You bring your best writing and editing to the task.

Your post demonstrates the airiness in a proper blog post.

Your post uses quotes properly. They bring interest and readability to your post.

You properly cite your quotes, and you properly accredit your photographs.

You find the perfect list materials to create listicles and imbed them.

Curation Quotes

Curation Quotes | "People really respond to other people's enthusiasm about things.", "Curation comes up when search…

list.ly

You are polite to your editors, your fellow writers, and your writing support groups.

Now, your piece is published. You cross your fingers and toes for good luck. You smudge your sage and burn your Palo Santo to clear the space to get ready for the good news.

And then — it doesn’t get curated! It was your best work.

Last week, you had one triple curated and it was full of typos and you believe it was not even your best work.

Now, here, is the secret to why this happens.

I am your curator. I am your mother. I’ve been moonlighting.

Keep up the good work. The more you write, the more work I’ll have to do in those fun late night 1099 sessions.

Don’t make me wait too long for your next piece. If you over analyze it to perfection and make me wait too long, I won’t get paid as much. And that will make me cranky.

No one likes a cranky mom. Keep the funnies coming regularly, and I won’t have to rely on Metamucil.

And remember, some days other things make me cranky, and then I’m in no mood.

Don’t forget to call me. You don’t write. You don’t call. Makes me cranky.

Now get back to the keyboard.

Thanks to Ryan Fan for being a fun muse.

MuddyUm writers’ prompt! Write a piece to your favorite curator. It can be a love letter, a wish list, a bribe. Keep it humorous! Make ’em laugh. We don’t want cranky curators.

Susan B. has been writing comedy for a little over 2 weeks. And editing for even longer than that.