It Takes a Village

Gratitude for my writing tribe

Most of us have probably heard the old African proverb “It takes a village,” often used in reference to child-rearing, suggesting that it takes a community to raise a child. There is so much truth in this pull towards others as we undergo challenging life journeys, for we are after all relational beings who don’t typically thrive in isolation (thanks a lot Covid-19).

For any of us who have ever joined a moms’ group when our children were little and benefited both from the social interaction among the toddlers as well as the emotional support we received ourselves — this is the power of the village in action.

When I got divorced there were support groups to help me heal and social meet-ups to help me get out of the house.

I quickly surrounded myself with other divorced and/or single women whom I could relate to — who understood me, and who shared a similar stage of life with me.

When I became a single working mom there were groups for that too and happy hours sprouted for this population as well.

It makes sense that we would want to be around people who are similar to us, to whom we can relate, and where we can feel gotten and understood — where we can be our true selves, fit in, and feel valued.

As human beings we all have a need to belong; we crave others, but finding the right others can be tricky sometimes.

When I started writing publicly, giving my words wings and setting them free into the world, my soul came alive again. I quickly learned however that the people in my off-screen life could not share in my joy, in my journey, or in my experience as I needed them to. As none of them share the same passion for writing as I do, they simply couldn’t understand, empathize, challenge me or cheerlead for me as I needed.

Most of the people I deeply love, including my family, don’t even read my work. Maybe that’s a good thing considering my writing style is oh so personal and revealing?

Writing lights my soul on fire but the process can sometimes feel lonely, especially when writer’s block sets in and you need someone to help pull you out or at least sit in it with you. Having someone to share in the writing journey with me only makes it better; it amplifies the powerful journey that writing already is for me.

So as the people in my real life continued to be inattentive to my writing excitement, it became abundantly clear that I would need some writing friends and fast!

I was deep in pain from my breakup, and though I was thriving through it in many ways, it was sucking the life out of me. I wrote about the range of my emotions — hundreds of poems on heartbreak, lost love, rekindling self-love, empowerment, and setting my words free. I was connecting with other writers and readers through my authentic sharing, and little by little, organically, I began to make friends.

My first friend on the platform was Natalia Lusinski, who became a huge support for me during these first few months of healing. Natalia is from California but is a digital nomad who got stuck in Poland during the lockdown. We had a mutual Facebook friend, so I felt comfortable connecting with her and sharing my personal information, whereas I most often err on the side of caution (apologies to anyone I have not friended back). Natalia is a talented writer and editor and I have learned a lot from her.

We became fast friends; modern-day penpals exchanging audio messages on WhatsApp on the regular, supporting each other in writing and in life.

Natalia — I am celebrating one year of our friendship this month and can’t wait to meet in person, g-d willing, sometime this year. I am grateful for you.

Shortly thereafter, I connected with another writer, and though she writes under a pen name, we too shared both mutual connections and personal information, and voila — I had another writing friend!

I began to share my work on Facebook groups that cultivate community such as Medium Writers Lounge, Womxn of Medium, and The POM: Together, we grow, and the more I was willing to share myself and my writing — the more friends I made.

Suddenly I felt as if I had a little family of online writing friends who not only understood my passion for the craft but also knew me better than most people in my off-screen life for they knew me from the inside out.

And then one day I got a most exciting message from a fellow writer I had connected with through the mutual baring of souls. She had an idea and this seed has sprouted into what has become our Writing Sisters’ Circle — our own little virtual writing tribe; the village that supports each of us in being our best writer selves.

Our village spans two countries and three states, but social media's beauty at its best is the limitless potential for connection despite distance and time.

My heart beams with gratitude for my tribe. We support one another, affirm and amplify each other’s writing, challenge one another, wrap our virtual arms around each other and celebrate one another’s victories.

This is a special friendship and I want to honor each of my writing sisters. They are each brilliant writers (and editors) and I invite you to follow them. And if you feel lonely on the platform, I invite you to make an effort to connect with others by engaging with their writing and to form your own writing tribe because, despite popular belief, writers thrive in collaboration. For me, this tribe has been the most unexpected gift that has become a game-changer in my writing and my productivity; it keeps me engaged and moving forward with unrelenting cheerleaders along the way.

Allow me to introduce you to Sarene B. Arias, Carolyn Riker, and Aimée Gramblin. Ladies — my writing journey and my life are enriched by all of you and I dream of the day that we can physically join hands and indulge in one another’s presence. I love you all and I love us!

Thank you for our village, in which I get to grow as both a writer and a human, and thank you for letting me be known with all of you.

Galit Birk, PhD is a life coach and therapist-in-training. She holds a Ph.D. in Psychology and two Master’s degrees; Human Resources and Counseling. Dr. Birk helps people bridge the gap between where they are and where they wish to be in their lives; empowering individuals to live the lives they imagine! Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.