It Is What It Is
It’s the Serenity Prayer, the reason for our existence, and everything we will ever be, all wrapped up in one…
“Jr,” Mable shouted, “what in tarnation did you do to my colander.”
Jr looked up at his mother and replied, “I washed it just like you tol’ me to, Maw.”
“You washed it,” she shouted again, “well how did the holes all get so big?”
“Oh that,” Jr answered, “there was food stuck in the holes that I couldn’t get out so I took Paw’s drill and bored them out.”
“Did you use the biggest drill your paw has?” Mable was getting madder by the minute.
“No Maw,” Jr explained, “Paw has lots of drills bigger than the one I used. Do you want me to drill ’em even bigger?”
“No!” Mable shouted as she walked out on the porch to show Ernest what Jr had done, “Would you look at what your son did to my colander.” By then she was fit to be tied.
“Well,” Ernest laughed, “Looks like he cleaned it up purdy good.”
“I mean the holes,” she roared.
“Looks like he did a good job to me,” Ernest answered in earnest, “He even de-burred the holes so you won’t cut your fingers.”
“What are you going to do about it,” she screamed.
“You want bigger holes?” Ernest asked. Jr just looked on not knowing what to think, or what to do.
“No,” she shouted jumping up and down wildly waving the colander above her head, “I want it the way it was before he drilled it.”
“Mable,” Ernest replied pushing a plug of tobacco in his mouth, “now you know it is what it is, ain’t nothin’ you can do to change it. The boy ain’t too bright, you have to explain everything to him.”
“I showed him how to wash it,” she screamed, “what else was I supposed to do?”
“Did you tell him not to drill holes in it?” Ernest asked, enjoying his plug of tobacco.
Mable could only shake her head…
To be continued in Double-wide…
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Remember, don’t just Whack ’em, Wackemall.
