GENDER EXPRESSION

Is Modernity Making Men Weak?

And Does It Matter?

Modernity has created many cruel, strange, and vile things. “Kirby’s Dream Buffet”, ocean gyres filled with single-use plastic, and untimely and increasingly expensive healthcare are just a few of them.

Additionally, modernity has created writers who write out listed items in groups of three to hide a dearth of substance and possession of knowledge. It’s a scary world out there.

Culturally, there is an enduring, yet ethereal claim that masculinity is under attack in these modern times. Claims that masculinity is now in crisis due to the liberal agenda, a sedentary lifestyle, women’s rights™ (to exist), or exploring sexuality and/or confronting sexual norms are popular scapegoats.

Fun Fact: The term “scapegoat” originated as a description of the ritual of sacrificing goats to cleanse sins during the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur.

Not so Fun Fact: The goat is traditionally thrown off a cliff, proving that frat culture has had a centuries-long grip on humanity.

Bestselling author and combat veteran of the U.S. Marine Corps G. Michael Hopf coined the following phrase regarding men:

Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times.

-G. Michael Hopf

Elementary ‘wisdom’ for short attention spans.

The problem with quotes like the above is that they are often presented without nuance. A thousand questions immediately spring to mind. Is this quote supposed to represent a natural cycle, like a chicken-or-egg type of deal? Is this quote supposed to be a fictionalized representation of the world? What am I having for dinner tonight?

The quote comes from a post-apocalyptic novel called “Those Who Remain” premised on the idea of what would occur if The United States were attacked with an EMP bomb.

Postapocalyse Now

The problem with postapocalyptic books like Hopf’s is that people who typically aren’t readers lean on these quotable lines as if they are some ancient sapience, but they’re actually schlocky wisdom from a hackjob writer.

That’s a subject I find totally unrelatable.

Hopf is wrong about the damage that EMPs can do. I’ve used a steel punch to write out each and every piece I’ve ever written and buried the plates in the desert. At worst, humanity forgets how to make pickles after the apocalypse.

Society can assuredly be rebuilt based on my written work alone. As long as we have access to Doritos for prison tamales, we’ll be okay. Move over Georgia Guidestones.

Are Men Weak?

Wrong question, ya dunce. That was kind of rude, but I’m a hard man trying to create strong men in order to grate good times.

The right question would be asking if we need traditional masculinity to do traditional man stuff in a modern environment. In short, the answer is no. In long, the answer is nooooooooooooooOOOOOoooooo.

Defense contractors have developed missiles that can chop people up. The Hellfire R9X missile does this very thing to enemies of the United States. Al-Qaeda leader Ayman al-Zawahri recently experienced this fate. We don’t need masculinity to do to a person what a SlapChop does to vegetables. I have one, and I love it. A SlapChop, not a Hellfire R9X missile¹.

We don’t need masculinity to set the missile after its target, either. Drones can blend humans up. All they’re missing is a little artificial intelligence and men won’t enter into the equation at all.

No, Masculinity Doesn’t Matter

Masculinity isn’t a value proposition in terms of being able to blow people up or otherwise demonstrate strength. When you remove the elements of strength and/ or forcefulness from the equation, the primary remaining element of masculinity that remains is how a person looks. Modernity doesn’t know and doesn’t care what a man is. Meanwhile, humanity can do all the traditional, warlike, strong stuff a man is supposed to be able to do without masculinity.

Hard times create blender missiles, blender missiles create good times (and good union jobs for hazmat crews), AI creates weak men, and weak men create hard times.

-V. Cardenas

¹I asked the government, but they said I wouldn’t pass the credit check necessary to acquire the missile and instead offered a complimentary Department of Defense stick for showing interest in blowing enemies of the state up.