Is It Shocking I’m Seeing a Guy Who’s 10 Years Younger Than Me?
Men do it all the time so why am I doubting myself?
“Oh my gosh,” I say.
“What?!” says my friend.
“He’s ten years younger than me,” I say.
“Who cares,” she says while laughing.
“Okay, I can’t lie,” I say. “He’s actually eleven years younger.”
“You go girl,” she says.
“I knew he was younger,” I say. “But I thought maybe six or seven years. I’m in shock.”
“You shouldn’t care,” she says. “After a certain age, it doesn’t really matter.”
“I asked him what he was thinking when he asked me to grab dinner,” I say. “How old did he think I was? He thought I was about eight years younger but he said who cares. I can’t stop laughing. I mean, really?!”
“Colleen,” she says while also still laughing. “You have waited years to even consider dating. You deserve this. You need to have fun and enjoy it. It’s not a big deal.”
I know she’s right.
Why do I care?
Men date younger women all of the time.
Why does it seem so much more salacious for a woman to do it?
Turnabout is fair play. My friend is right. After a certain age — does age really matter? Is it really that shocking? Is it just me?
At least, in my inner circle, it is.
Because none of them find it appalling.
I seem to be the only one who has a problem with it. He doesn’t care. My friends don’t care. My family doesn’t care. My children don’t care. They’re all cheering me on, in between a lot of good-humored teasing.
Maybe if I didn’t just have a milestone birthday I wouldn’t be in such shock.
Or maybe this is just a really great ‘Happy Birthday to me!’ moment.
A reminder that age is just a number.
And attraction is attraction. Fun is fun. Laughter is laughter.
I mean it’s not like we’re getting married. It’s not like we are serious. It’s not like this will necessarily be long-term. It’s not like this is any type of big commitment.
I met a guy.
A good guy.
A guy with a big joy of life who is handsome, fun, funny, smart, selfless, brave, and sexy. It’s only been a few weeks but he treats me well. I feel safe with him. I trust him. He’s restored my hope in men. I mean, not much to complain about.
Except for that decade plus a year.
I shouldn’t care.
I shouldn’t tell myself he should be attracted to someone younger.
This is kind of a win for me but not so sure it is for him. Even if he tells me otherwise. At the same time, I remind myself how hard it is to find someone you’re drawn to as you get older.
If I look at it that way, it’s a win for both of us.
And he’s leaving soon.
He’s being transferred.
I need to enjoy this time for what it is. I need to see him for who he is. He’s not a number. He’s a man who opened my heart again. He’s a man who makes me laugh again.
He’s the guy who makes me nervous in a good way.
He’s butterflies.
He makes me feel seen. He makes me feel like he sees me for who I really am. It’s something I’m not sure my ex-husband was ever able to do. He’s open and he’s kind.
He’s restoring the last part of me that was crying for a comeback.
But who didn’t trust holding any man's hand.
Until his.
I almost didn’t reach for it either. I was so filled with fear I nearly missed him because It Was a Big Mistake to Wait This Long to Date After Divorce — I was ridiculously nervous.
I’m done overthinking it.
Even though I might still be laughing about it.
He’s not going to be here in town for very long.
In that regard, it’s completely non-threatening. Our age difference may end up being only a moment in time (sorry I can’t avoid a good play on words) and I’ve decided I don’t want to miss that moment.
I’ve decided I don’t care.
I shouldn’t care.
I mean, not much to complain about.
Except for that decade plus a year.
