If You Want to Be Happy, Stop Doing These 7 Things
These habits kill your happiness.
Surprisingly, happiness, more often than not, is a matter of subtraction rather than addition.
Society glamorizes creative pursuits, but what about things we should abandon to keep us happy?
To level up your happiness, eliminate these things from your life:
Attachment.
Attachment means conditioning your well-being upon external events, like the job, relationship, or an outcome of a negotiation.
When you are attached to something, you fear losing the thing or the person you cling to. And living in fear is draining. The more attached you are, the more unhappy you become.
Letting go provides you with health, freedom, and peace of mind. Letting go allows you to accept the fluidity of life.
Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care. It stands for acceptance of every season of life.
Happiness is freedom. Attachment is a form of control that leads to an unhappy life.
Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering.
— Osho
Self-criticism.
You do not see yourself for who you are but for who you think you are. And your perception of yourself is usually skewed.
Nobody will make you feel better about yourself if you don’t accept who you are. The all-forgiving and all-consuming love starts within you.
Negative self-talk wreaks havoc on your life. Valuing yourself is not narcissism or vanity. It is the healthiest act of self-love.
- Cut out sentences like “I can’t” and “I am not smart or pretty enough” from your vocabulary.
- Change “I can’t” into “It is possible”. Instead of saying, “I am not good enough”, start saying, “I am getting better and better every day”.
- Every time you say something negative about yourself, say at least three kind sentences to yourself.
Self-talk is your superpower and has an immense impact on your life. It either sabotages your success or pushes you towards greatness.
Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.
Complaining.
Words have power. They create your reality.
Complaining gives you nothing. It doesn’t make you feel better. It actually makes your life worse.
Instead of focusing on things that go wrong, talk about the good in your life and the changes you can make to feel better. If there is nothing you can change, accept the situation but do not complain about it.
Switch from complaining to seeking out blessings. Gratitude is the primal form of receivership and is a marvellous mood booster.
Start your day by writing down:
- 3 things you are grateful for,
- 3 things you get to do today,
- 3 things that make you happy.
Gratitude makes you feel good. And when you feel good, you do good.
Be grateful for what you have and stop complaining — it bores everybody else, does you no good, and doesn’t solve any problems.
Controlling.
You are energy, and how you choose to spend that energy impacts the quality of your life.
When you focus on things outside your control, you are wasting the precious resource. Don’t sweat about things you cannot control. Acceptance is the key to a better life.
Life is unpredictable, and that’s the beauty of it.
You cannot control the weather, but you can influence how you approach the storm. Don’t get too caught up in trying to control people and external events, focus on your inner state.
Invite more spontaneity into your day. Instead of planning every hour of your schedule, leave space for surprises. Get comfortable with things not going as planned.
See the life for a beautiful and unpredictable adventure that it is, and you will discover freedom. With freedom comes happiness.
You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.
Clinging to the past.
Reflecting on the past is normal. Living in the past is not.
It doesn’t matter who you were ten years ago. All that matters is what you choose to do with the present moment. Past is your teacher. You are supposed to learn from your mistakes and move on.
Personal growth cannot happen without missteps.
You won’t eliminate mistakes from your life. But you can embrace them by shifting how you think about them.
When faced with a challenge, don’t think about past failures. See them as stepping stones to greatness, a chance to learn something new. Perfection gives you no rewards. Mistakes do.
Staying in the past keeps you from finding happiness in the present.
Stop being a prisoner of your past. Become the architect of your future.
Comparison.
There are no two people alike. And it is a magnificent aspect of our human existence.
Since each of us is unique, there is no point in comparing your life behind the scenes to someone else’s highlight reels.
Social media is a breeding ground for low self-esteem and the feeling of not enoughness. If we could only remind ourselves that what people post for everyone to see are just glimpses of their daily lives, not the actual state of their reality.
Social media is not the root of all evil. But I am sure there are better ways of investing in your self-growth.
Instead of spending hours scrolling through the feed and comparing your life to somebody else’s, implement changes in your day to feel better about yourself.
There is nothing wrong with admiring somebody else. But do so without questioning your worth.
Comparison is an act of violence against the self.
Caring too much.
Caring about people’s approval makes you their slave.
How can you expect to find your definition of happiness if you are sidetracked by the expectations and opinions of others? Happiness comes with freedom.
Society has standards. But just because those standards exist doesn’t mean you have to agree with people’s expectations.
If you are 30 and feel the pressure to get married, but that’s not something you want, how can marriage bring you happiness?
Being selfish is not that bad. Succumbing to the wishes of others will make you miserable. Prioritize yourself and see how your happiness affects those around you.
You will never please everyone. You will be better off when you stop trying to make others happy and go inward to find what makes you happy.
The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.
Happiness is a choice.
Contrary to popular belief, happiness is in our hands, not outside our control.
Happiness doesn’t mean life is perfect. You will face challenges. You will experience pain and loss. But despite all of that, you can choose to be happy in the midst of chaos.
Happiness stems from your perspective on life. Stop chasing the illusion of things that will bring you happiness. Instead, eliminate those habits from your day that prevents you from being happy.
Thank you for being here, — Kate
