If You Dream About Self-Love but Don’t Know Where to Start, Read This
Here is how you form an intimate connection with yourself.
Love feels divine.
But when you hit rock bottom, the same love can be devastating. It pierces like a random bullet. The heart bleeds out all care, warmth, or kindness.
There are two ways to heal from this trauma:
- Wait to heal.
- Heal yourself.
Emotional freedom is option two. Most people don’t choose to heal themselves even though the option exists for everyone. The foundation to heal is by filling yourself with love.
Self-love is not a straight, joyful journey, as you might think.
I spoke to a friend today.
She shared, “I have sacrificed myself for my family. Yet no one cares about me or my feelings.”
I could hear her silent sobs and feel her heaviness within me.
Isn’t it common?
You lay down your whole life in love. You go out of your way to make others comfortable. And when they don’t respond kindly, hurt and agony grips you.
When people hear ‘self-love,’ they see images of self-boasting, bashing the other, or just don’t giving a f*ck to anyone. The truth is that genuinely joyful people are right in front of your eyes every day.
We simply don’t recognize them. Because we subtly equate self-love with some rashness.
Instead, self-love gives rise to kindness, compassion, and expectationless life. It is not a single-day trip but a marathon that most compassionate people usually undergo.
Compassion arises from hardships.
Some choose to hide during their challenging times. Some blame. Others fight and boast about it. Only a few people use it as an opportunity to work on themselves.
Takeaway:
Use your hardships to understand yourself better. Heartbreak can open your mind to appreciate things that were invisible before.
You’ll slide down many times. The path may seem complex. But don't give up.
Pour love, compassion, and kindness within yourself. Caress your heart like a child. It has seen and tolerated enough.
Be your heart’s best friend.
Love may hurt you. But the pain will crack open your beliefs and conditionings. A new dawn will enter once you release all your misery in the love that you pour inside.
The rebellious one gets all the hate and envy.
During my formative years, I was told to fit in.
Fit in the patterns of society. Fit in as an ideal daughter, student, and person. Fit in as society would like it.
This earned me many accolades from my teachers, neighbors, and relatives. But it caught me in the maze of superficial pleasers.
My real heart was suffocating beneath the pressure of expectations.
All it took was standing up for myself, and I’d be burned under criticism. It happened when I chose to prepare for my higher studies.
They said, “I’d not get a suitable boy to marry because boys don’t study that much. And I’d become unfit to marry because of my higher education.”
It again happened when I introduced a boy of a different religion to my family. All hell broke loose. Emotional and psychological blackmail ensued. They publicly humiliated me on many occasions.
It happened again and again and again. Their criticism has not yet stopped.
But it is not my responsibility to stop their mouths. My commitment is towards me.
Am I sane in insane situations? Am I happy and unaffected by all the drama? Am I still full of love, irrespective of who does what?
Self-love is the key to emotional freedom. Otherwise, you’d get stuck pampering other’s ego.
Yes, you need to take a stand, however difficult it may seem. Because no one else would.
Takeaway:
Licking others’ egos is no solution if you want to be truly happy.
Why?
Because you are gifting your freedom. It is like saying, “I don’t care, do anything you want to do with me.”
Instead, take the control back.
Nobody will decide how you feel. Only you can.
People will bite you when you start taking steps to express and live your authenticity. But it is a powerful sign that you’re moving ahead toward your heart.
Dare to show your genuine face to the world. Dare to laugh like crazy. Dare to be you.
Start with baby steps to fulfill your heart’s needs. Rekindle your old hobbies. Take a walk in the sunshine. Be with birds or animals.
Take care of your heart without explaining it to anyone. You deserve to live as ‘you,’ not anybody else.
Mass hypnosis is the murderer of self-love.
Following the herd is security. Walking alone is madness.
We all have been doing this since childhood. Do what others do. Behave like normal people or fear being an outcast.
The problem is you end up playing their games.
You follow what others do to fulfill your need for validation. Fancy education. Climbing up positions. Earning fat bucks. And doing everything to keep gaining more and more. Be it love, status, money, power, or sex.
You never question whether it is really necessary to be like others.
It is like molding yourself to fit in the societal parameters. The fear of ‘what if’ imprisons many to their deaths.
Takeaway:
Being at the mercy of others in relationships and fulfilling yourself with money or power is temporary.
We all are human. Don’t feel guilty if you follow the masses. Just be aware of this tendency whenever you act out of it.
Be kind to yourself. Notice your patterns. And boldly stand out not by doing something extraordinarily but by being yourself.
Self-love isn't what you think.
The goal isn’t to beat your chest or berate others.
Self-love is about valuing your existence the way you value other’s life.
It is about expressing your authenticity. No more hiding beneath covers. It is about living how you want to and not being a servant of other’s whim.
When you love yourself to your core, you don’t condemn life. In fact, you become more in tune with the universe. After all, existence is unfolding within you.
Notice it. Cherish it and help it to grow through you.
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