I Wish I Knew About Gaslighting Before It Happened To Me
I feel sad because there is nothing I can do …
Gaslighting is a kind of psychological manipulation in which an individual or a group of people sows seeds of doubt in someone’s mind. This leads the targeted person or the victim to question their own identity, skills, capabilities, and personality and can make them lose their self-confidence, memory, and decision-making power.
Before meeting and dating my abuser, I was living a happy life. All of my relatives and friends were caring and loving. They were always there for me and guided me toward the right path. I met him when I was doing my Bachelor’s degree. He looked good to me, and in a very short time, we got close to one another.
We used to spend quality time together and had decided to marry as soon as possible. He promised to give me a wonderful life, but right after the marriage, things changed all of a sudden. He transformed from a caring and loving person to an abuser.
Things got worsened when I once decided to end my life; I was feeling hopeless and helpless. He did not only gave me tough times but also led me to the point where I began doubting my own identity and skills. He used to say stupid things to me, some of which are mentioned below.
You cannot survive without me.
You will never be able to raise our children as a single mother.
You are good for nothing.
You are an ugly woman.
Don’t Allow Anyone To Bully You
I spent many years with my husband (who is the biggest abuser of my life) and tried to compromise on a lot of things. However, I could not tolerate him anymore; so, I decided to begin my career as a freelance writer.
I joined this site with the idea in mind that I would soon reach the peaks of success. I am thankful to all of my followers for supporting me and liking my work. This gives me a lot of satisfaction and encourages me to work harder than ever.
To everyone who knows my story, I humbly request to never be bullied into silence. Please don’t allow anyone to underestimate your power and skills. Don’t be a victim, and don’t let your partner define you.
Who Are The Victims Of Gaslighting?
To be honest, anybody can be the victim of gaslighting. Whether you are a male or a female, you should take good care of your life and should never permit anyone to take advantage of your love, feelings, and closeness.
It is easy to think that someone is trying to gaslight you. They probably choose you because you look innocent or an easy target for them. The idea is to make yourself physically and financially strong.
I have also done the same. I am no more dependent on my husband for anything. He does not give me money to spend on children and has no romantic relationship with me. He is present in the house like a dead body.
Every girl or boy who is being gaslighted or bullied should have some self-respect to move on. It is okay if you don’t have money for your survival; it is also okay if you love your partner or the abuser. What is not okay is letting them use you or misguide you. Remember that nothing is more important than self-respect.
Takeaway
If you suspect that you are being bullied, then you need to act immediately. What should I do? Well, you can speak to the abuser or simply stay away. There is no need to be with negative-minded people.
I have done the same; I and my children have stopped speaking to the abuser (my husband and their father) and have left him alone. We don’t even care what he does or eat. It sometimes makes me feel bad because I love him, but at the end of the day, I am not ready to be gaslighted ever. I wish I knew this because; I wish things could be changed.
