I Want to Base my Children’s Education from Home, but . . .

Myths, Concerns, and Fears

I’m too nervous. I’m overwhelmed by the information. I don’t know where to start. My (parents, in-laws, friends, cousins, etc.) don’t support me. I am a single parent. My partner/my children’s father is against it. I’m afraid I will fail my kids. I didn’t do well in school. What if my kids don’t have any friends? I’m not smart enough. My kids won’t have the “school” experience I had — sleepovers, formal dances, graduation, 1st day of school pics. I am Muslim, Jewish, Hindi, atheist, et al. — All homeschoolers are Christian and we’re not. All my friends’ kids go to school. I don’t know any homeschoolers near me. How will my child get into uni, have a career, be successful (like a mainstreamer)? How will I know my children aren’t falling behind? I live in an apartment, house, flat, etc. which isn’t the ideal homeschool setting. I don’t garden, bake, raise chickens, play piano, etc. We’re not rich enough.

Do you see the concern that is holding you back? If not, let’s talk about it in the comments.

This list includes topics frequently brought up in the local home education groups I’m in. If you share any of these, take comfort in knowing you are among the many who are facing these fears. To address them, they first need to be sorted. Some of these are myths, some are beyond your control, and the rest I will help you sort out.

Myths

There are many myths about the choice to home educate floating around out in the mainstream world. Let’s unpack a few of them.

I am not smart enough.

Rest easy in knowing that you are enough. Our children’s education isn’t a transfer of knowledge from parent to child. It is the child’s accumulation of information and experiences. Some information you will pass on directly from yourself to them and most, they will acquire on their own through playing and talking with their friends, through reading, through having their own experiences, and so on. Homeschooling your children only requires that your heart is fully committed. You have to be open to new ideas and willing to learn as you go.

My kids won’t have the “school” experience.

Actually, this one is true. Homeschooled children do not have the school experience. Instead, they have the homeschool experience, which includes but is definitely not limited to sleepovers, formal dances, graduation, and 1st day of school pics, and much, much more. It is up to us to let go of our expectations of what their childhood experiences will be.

I don’t live on a farm, in a house, etc.

Stop looking at Pinterest/Instagram. Stop comparing yourself. Whatever your home is is the perfect setting for your family to homeschool because it is your home. It is your lifestyle. It is your family culture. In this way, even if they are using the same resources, every family is having its own unique homeschool experience.

We aren’t a Christian family.

You don’t have to be. Families of all faiths, beliefs, life philosophies enjoy homeschooling.

I don’t have a garden, bake, raise chickens, play piano, etc.

Again, quit comparing yourself to what you imagine homeschool to be. Your family is unique and your children will each have a homeschooling experience that is uniquely theirs. With or without chickens. If at some point, your child comes to you and asks for an experience that is outside what you can offer in your home, you will either find a way for them to access it in your community, or the answer will be no.

One of the many important lessons our children learn is that while we can do anything, we can’t do everything. That is just the way life is.

We aren’t a rich family.

You will fit right in. Families across the entire socio-economic scale are successful in homeschooling their children. They each do what they can with what they have. Public libraries are free to all. Bartering and trading are a thing. If an activity or an opportunity is important enough, you and your children will find a way.

I didn’t do well in school.

All the more reason for homeschooling your own children. Why put them back into a system that failed you? We are looking to the future. Your job in homeschooling is more facilitator than the teacher, especially as your children get older. Anytime your child needs more help with their learning than you can give, you help them find resources, be it peers, adult friends, a local university, somebody who works in the field, textbooks, etc.

A VCE or high school diploma is required to get into uni, have a successful career path.

There are many alternative paths outside mainstream schooling into university and careers. Here is a link to an article that dives deeply into many of them: Other Ways

Concerns Outside Your Control

Boundaries are important. Homeschooling your children is much easier when you surround yourself with people who respect and support your decision, but it is their choice to make.

My (parents, in-laws, friends, etc.) don’t think homeschooling is a good idea.

Fact is, they don’t have to and that is their choice. And I would guess they don’t know as much about it as you do. Usually, their objections and fears are based on their lack of knowledge. (Sound familiar?)

Sure, it would be more comfortable if they chose to support your decision. Hopefully, they will come around. If not, that is ok. You do what is right for your family.

All my friends’ kids go to school.

Choosing to homeschool your kids will open up a whole new set of friends to you and your children. Your circle of friends will grow and change. The friends you already have may stay with you or they may not. That is their choice. It is also an outcome of the work they and you are willing to put into the relationship. It may become too much work when your child-raising experiences become so different from each others’. The world is full of friends you haven’t made yet.

Homeschooling communities are full of opportunities for our children to meet, play, go on field trips, have amazing experiences, go to sleepovers, and much, much more.

The bottom line is you can’t control how others choose to respond or react to your decision to homeschool your children. Be happy with the ones who are supportive and encouraging. Be accepting and tolerant of the ones who aren’t. Let them know that you won’t allow them to quiz your kids, talk negatively about homeschooling, or engage in other types of negative behaviour. Not around your or your children. Homeschooling is a legal and viable alternative path of education for your children.

Fears

It is important to name your fears. Write them all down on paper. We can be overwhelmed by our fears if we let them get away from us. Naming them and writing them down makes them smaller, less frightening, and more manageable. Now that you have named them, do everything in your power to ensure none of them come to fruition.

My children may fall behind.

They also may soar ahead. But ahead or behind what? The arbitrarily assigned levels in schools that the schools can’t even ensure every child passes? No thanks. In homeschooling, we don’t compare or rank our children against each other. Children each learn and progress at their own pace, often well in advance of same-age peers at school due to the individualized, one-on-one attention they get at home.

One of the easiest ways of overcoming unfounded fears is education. Most of us do fear what we don’t know or understand. There are many, many blogs, YouTubers, books, films, and podcasts about homeschooling. Most of them are created by homeschoolers for homeschoolers. Find a couple that you feel a connection to and make them a part of your daily or weekly routine. Join local homeschool groups on Facebook. Start attending their park meet-ups.

The support within the homeschooling community is the best. We all started exactly where you are and we know how you feel. We also know how far we have come and we want you to have the success we have had.

It is all so overwhelming! I don’t know where to start.

The thing is, you have already started. Find a community member to chat with one-on-one. They can help you sift through all the options and find your feet.

I’m afraid I will fail my kids.

You won’t. This fear is as much about parenting as it is about homeschooling. All you can do is your best, making mistakes and learning from them along the way. The more you learn about child development, how learning occurs naturally, and homeschooling in general, the more confidence you will have.

I don’t know any homeschoolers near where we live. My kids won’t have friends.

Making friends takes time and the friends will come. Today is your first day. Look on Facebook for local groups near where you live. Ask at the library, neighbourhood houses, and any other public service venues. Expand your definition of local. It may be a larger circle than you expect.

Depending on the ages of your children, talk with them about the skill set of making and keeping friends. Plan to come home from a park meet with one new phone number or email address. Set up a play date with them next week.

The last two topics (being a single parent, and when your partner/ the children’s father isn’t on board with homeschooling) are larger and deserve their own posts. I will write about them individually in future posts.

How are you feeling now? A bit more hopeful? What have I missed? Let’s talk about it in the comments.

We all share most of these concerns at the beginning because homeschooling is a big unknown. We have to educate ourselves and then based on our newly acquired knowledge, trust in our decision-making ability, and JUMP! You can do it. I believe in you.

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