Summary

The author's journey of coming out through writing reveals that readers are more interested in genuine connection and the human spirit than just the sexual aspects of the stories shared.

Abstract

The author, who began sharing their personal experiences in late 2019, initially expected their writing to be predominantly about sex. However, they discovered that their audience was more engaged with themes of authenticity, emotional connection, and the nuances of human relationships. The articles that resonated most with readers were those that explored the complexities of intimacy beyond physical encounters, such as the power of a simple hug or the dynamics of friends with benefits. The author's candidness about their sexual encounters led to a reader dubbing them an 'ethical slut,' a term they embraced as a positive reflection of their approach to consensual, non-committal relationships. This journey of self-expression and exploration has shown that people crave a deeper understanding of love, lust, and sex, and that these topics, while often taboo, are central to the human experience.

Opinions

The author initially intended their writing to focus on steamy, sexual content but found that a balance with deeper emotional connections was more fulfilling.
They believe that sex should not be the sole focus of their narrative, as it can become monotonous and overshadow the complexities of human interaction.
The author values the importance of human connection and prefers to engage with partners on a more personal level, even within fleeting encounters.
They were pleasantly surprised to see readers' interest in stories about non-sexual physical contact and meaningful friendships.
The author takes pride in being perceived as an 'ethical slut,' interpreting it as a compliment that acknowledges their responsible approach to casual sex.
They argue that relationships and sexual encounters are diverse and should be owned and embraced by individuals according to their own desires and boundaries.
The popularity of certain stories suggests to the author that many people seek connections that are not satisfied by conventional relationships.
The author emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself and expresses that this authenticity is more satisfying than adhering to societal norms.
They view sex as a multifaceted aspect of life that can serve various purposes, from a tool or weapon to an expression of friendship or therapy.
The author believes that the taboo surrounding sex is at odds with its fundamental role in human nature and experience.
They are committed to continue writing about potentially controversial topics, as it fosters connection and understanding among readers.

I Thought My Coming Out Would be About Sex

But it was more about being real

I came out late in 2019, and by coming out I mean I began spilling my words as a means to share the holy mess in my mind, without filters.

I thought my writing journey would be one full of filth and indecency, but to my surprise, it became one of connection and discovery. The most pleasant offshoot of delving into my sex life through words has been observing exactly why readers are dropping in.

It’s not all about the sex.

I can’t lie, when I first began I wanted the bulk of my writing to be steamy and sleazy, because who doesn’t love fornication? I love every single aspect of flirting and getting down with men I deem worthy of my slice of pie.

But as I continued writing I engaged further into reading as well, and I discovered that I can only read so much about sex before it becomes tiresome. There’s only so much I can tolerate about dick size, vulvas, sex toys, and boardroom tables before I’m completely bored.

I took that into consideration when thinking about what I was churning out. How many hookups would readers like to read about before I become less of a person and more a plain old horn-dog, in their eyes?

The truth about me as a woman is that I don’t tend to jump in the sack with men unless there’s some form of human connection first, even if fleeting. There’s usually a purpose behind having sex, and that purpose is mostly connection.

I am insatiable in that regard. I need more than just dick, I need to connect with the person who’s giving it to me, even when I don’t want to engage deeper than the surface of sex.

So far, my readers have impressed me with their interest in the human spirit, beyond screwing around. It’s not at all what I expected. Nor did I expect that out of all my slutty and opinionated articles, the one that would garner the most attention is about something as simple as a hug.

Embracing a Married Man, as a Single Woman

Reaping the benefits of a warm body every day

medium.com

Before that story morphed into a mini-series, it was an uncomplicated anecdote about the power of touch between two people, and nothing more. Yet, readers have eaten it up.

That tells me a lot about my audience and I love you all for it.

If I were to analyze my stories further I’d only love you even more for making my piece about friends with benefits just as popular. It is another simple story about kindred souls who share intimacy as a way to express friendship. The feedback it has received is as beautiful as the friendship itself.

The first time I hit the publish button on a story with a shred of scandal in the title, I felt like such a deviant. But only for a minute because as soon as I came out, many readers received me. That’s as real as it gets.

On the topic of feedback, just today, one reader went as far as to suggest that I’m an ‘ethical slut’ after reading about the type of sex I want, and what I might be willing to do to get it.

While some may take offense to being called anything associated with the word slut, I took it more as a compliment because of the word ‘ethical.’

**Thank you, dear reader, for coining that term. I may have to write about it in the future**

Let’s just call it what it is. I could be considered a slut simply because I like to hook up with random men. I don’t deny the fact that I have no desire to be in a relationship. So, if I have to be any kind of slut, I’d rather be an ethical one than a dirty one.

The truth is that relationships come in all styles. They are as varied as colors in a rainbow, with all the hues in between.

Some may call it promiscuous, I call it taking ownership. I own what I want out of life and personal relationships, whether it appears to be indecent or not.

If a story about basic human touch mushrooms into something thousands of people want to read, what does that tell you about us? It tells me that most of us crave something we may not get on a regular basis. It tells me that we need something in our lives that we may be lacking.

It also tells me that some of us may not be finding what we need within the confines of a standard relationship, one that is acceptable in the eyes of society.

As I have discovered in my coming out of 2019, each of us are pretty spectacular beings with our own ideas of love, lust, and sex.

The most important condition in our lives is being true to oneself. If you can’t be that, you’ll continue to feel a sense of lack and absence. There will always be a hole that needs to be filled (no pun intended). Sometimes it’s not a dick that can do the job.

In today’s society, sex can be used as a tool, as a weapon, and as therapy. It is used to express love, adoration, desire, emotion, and yes — even friendship.

It is the most basic of primal instincts next to eating, breathing and sleeping, yet somehow, over centuries of evolution, it has essentially become the most taboo topic of our existence.

Here’s the thing though. If I can randomly come across a man on a street corner who’s willing to engage in adventure sex with me, does that make us deviants? Or does it just mean there are millions of us aimless souls out there hoping to cross paths?

It’s inevitable that we’ll cross paths at some point. The universe is no dummy, it knows what we want and it delivers.

No matter how you choose to either fantasize or actualize your sexual desires, you’re bound to find a story that resonates with you. It’s inevitable, it’s natural, and it’s biological — because we’re human.

Writing about sex and other possibly undesirable opinions is what I set out to do. Here I am doing it, I’m loving it, and above all, I’m connecting with and learning about others through my stories.

Nothing can be more private, yet more out in the open than that.

Thelma & Louise

Freedom Writers of the Unpopular Opinion

medium.com