100 WORDS

I Saw Keanu Reeves Farting on Reuben Salsa

Thrifty Words 100 Challenge #34: Undaunted

Reuben saw Keanu Reeves’ penis once, and I was there. The dazzling schlong¹ was too much. Reuben fainted, hit his head on the floor, and almost died.

I was in dismay. I couldn’t do anything.

Keanu, undaunted, reacted at full speed. He took a deep breath, kneeled in front of Reuben, and farted in his face.

“What the Matrix, Keanu? Are you flying?” I said, feeling Minnesota. “You know farting on a dying man is a sacrilege, right?”

“Don’t worry, little Buddha; I’m the cool Hawaiian breeze². It’s my superpower. I can save dying people by farting in their face.”

¹ On a side note, Keanu’s peter is such a work of art it should be called Keanu’s keanu, not peter.

² Keanu means “cool breeze over the mountains” in Hawaiian.

Do you want to test your knowledge of Keanu’s filmography? Read this story below. There are 51 titles to find in the text.

If you want to know more about Keanu’s penis …, read this one. I don’t recommend it. Reuben wrote it.