I Resigned From My Job Abruptly and Everyone Suddenly Acts Surprised.
Most things have their lifecycle.
For the longest time, I wanted to resign from my position as a medical secretary. I had been in the position for 2 years. There was always one reason or the other why I hung in there;
I was the sole income earner for our household.
I had not found an alternative job
There were days I needed somewhere to go to every morning.
Pending the success of my board exams, I thought of maintaining my experience in the medical field.
BUT
Many things didn’t support my decision to remain. Topping the list was my awful pay. My friends did not understand how I was surviving on that income or why I’d accepted it at all. I became a minimalist.
My boss has never been open to salary increments. Most times when I bring it up, I never win. So at some point, I stopped discussing it.
The only time I brought it up and got a marginal increment was after I resumed sick leave following a psychotic breakdown. That was an opportune time to leave the practice. Instead, I gradually eased back to work and asked for a salary review.
It’s an irony cos he’d once said: “You can’t go work for a non-physician. They won’t know how to pay you.” He was not doing any better.
Our practice is a very busy family practice with multiple operations. Working over 40 hours weekly usually translates to little or no energy on weekends. My brain was getting fried, so I stood little chance of passing those board exams. It’s like my monthly periods also got the memo and went AWOL.
For as far back as I remember, I am not a half-hearted person. I am usually extra committed to work. I would leave home between 6 am and 7 am in the cold or the heat depending on which season. My commute to work was anything from 30 minutes to an hour. I couldn’t afford car ownership and maintenance on that salary.
Lots of processes at work were manual. My boss liked it that way. Incidentally, that also made things harder. There was so much to do every day. If only the pay matched the work…
Life continued like this for a while. Half of my phone calls, hangouts, and meetups turned into rants. The situation was frustrating, and I needed an outlet. Everyone had an opinion.
Two weeks ago, I had just returned from a subsidized trip to Europe. I resumed work soon after, but I noticed I had this mental fogginess that wouldn’t let me function optimally. So, I took more time off.
It was during that time off that I quit. I just had this strong realization that it was time for this situation to end. It had crossed my mind various times, but this time, I was super convinced. The next morning, I typed a resignation email and sent it to my boss. He didn’t respond. I didn’t expect him to.
I went about my business as usual. The first person I told about my resignation was my oldest brother. No drama, just a factual response, and quiet understanding. “Effective when? Your husband has a new job right, so at least there is some money coming in.”
Then I told my mum. “You should have told me first before resigning. I would have given you a better exit strategy. Is your husband on board with this?” “What’s done is done.”
As I got off the phone with Mum, a close friend called me. “No surprise there.” I had given her an earful multiple times.
Hubby was next. No real surprise but coolness “When did you do it? You didn’t tell me before sending in the letter.” “We discussed it many times.” “I thought we agreed you’d get something else first.” Then there was actual silence.
My sister was next. “Wow, that’s bold. But there is going to be lots of animosity cos you didn’t prep them.”
And then I told my uncle who had introduced me to the practice. I gave him a lot to think about.
Meanwhile, at the office…
After my boss saw the email, he called my co-worker to ask if she had heard from me. She said no. The reality was we hadn’t discussed this and he wouldn’t ask directly.
It wasn’t a decision I had discussed with anyone, and so there was a round of surprises from staff and management.
First co-worker: “Why did you resign? This would have been the best time to negotiate.” I responded: ‘You mean that negotiation where you end up with 2 extra dollars plus your base rate?’ She apologized profusely.
Second co-worker: “Wow Judith, what happened? Wow! That’s bold. Please don’t shut me out.”
Another: “Why on earth didn’t she give notice?”
My boss: “Why didn’t she give me notice? I would have given her an excellent reference, regardless. I had plans for her.” Thanks, but no thanks.
Clients: “Oh, that lady left, oh gosh, what happened? It’s sad.”
I know the controversies, gossip, and opinions have not ended.
How do I feel?
I am convinced of my decision to resign. However, my sister and mum were right about animosity and the right exit strategy. That approach would have left things less tempestuous.
My silence has created a vacuum for guesswork, gossip, and opinions. The resignation was abrupt, though long overdue.
I knew I didn’t want to have another sit down with my boss. We had too many sit-downs in 2 years and there wasn’t much to show for it as far as take-home pay was concerned.
People are who they are. Sometimes, you can’t afford hanging around people, waiting for them to change.
My boss felt working at his practice had perks; good clinical experience, breakfast for staff, lunch days, and some measure of flexibility. That’s because he wasn’t exactly seeing beyond his circumstance.
Reality check: those things don’t pay the rent. Inflation is still waiting for you at the grocery store. Unless you decide it’s time to ask the government for support.
Besides, the job was taking too much from me, and in exchange, I was sacrificing my health and my marriage.
Some people say I have cooked up quite a storm… There are whispers, speculations, and criticisms. It doesn’t matter. There are far bigger stakes to focus on.
What’s next?
Deepening my relationship with me.
Deepening my relationship with hubby.
My exams.
Part-time work thereafter.
