Summary

The author, a physician, experiences a series of epiphanies about the importance of work-life balance and self-care after a transformative trip to Europe, prompting a reevaluation of personal priorities and the decision to prioritize their own needs.

Abstract

The author, reflecting on their life as a physician, shares the struggle to maintain a work-life balance amidst a demanding career. Influenced by the lifestyle of their landlady and their own experiences, the author realizes the monotony of their routine, which leaves little time for personal recovery and growth. A pivotal moment occurs when the author is unable to attend a family wedding, leading to regret. A subsequent trip to Europe, encouraged by family intervention, serves as a catalyst for change. The author discovers a newfound appreciation for self-care, particularly the health benefits of hydration, and observes the financial stability and intentional living of their relatives. Upon returning, the author decides to take additional time off, leading to profound realizations about the need to prioritize personal well-being and professional development, questioning the current unsustainable lifestyle.

Opinions

The author values work-life balance but finds it challenging to achieve in their profession.
Observing the landlady's exhaustive work cycle and its impact on her life influences the author's perspective on their own situation.
The author regrets missing significant life events due to work commitments and financial constraints.
The trip to Europe is seen as a game changer, providing a fresh perspective and triggering healthier habits.
The author recognizes the importance of self-care and the need to break the cycle of mental and physical exhaustion.
There is a critical view of the rat race and the realization that neither financial gain nor personal satisfaction has been achieved in the current lifestyle.
The author acknowledges a history of prioritizing others' needs over their own, leading to exploitation and a lack of self-fulfillment.
The author emphasizes the clarity gained during quiet moments of reflection and the

My Brain Just Got Rewired and Now I Am Filled With Epiphanies. This Should Have Happened Long Before Now.

The power of timeouts.

I don’t know if it’s the Libran in me, but I have always loved the idea of work-life balance. When my career as a physician started several years ago, it was a challenge to achieve that. My weekends were my escape if I wasn’t on call duty.

When I moved to North America in 2018, my first landlady was from Barbados and had moved to Canada when she was two. We lived in her lovely townhouse. I spent a lot of time in her home studying for my board exams.

She would leave home for her office sometime between 6:30 am and 8 am, depending on how early she woke up. She would return 12 hours later. Many times, she would just drop her workbag on the floor and collapse on that floor.

I disliked seeing her that way. How could she invest in such a beautiful home but spend most of her time elsewhere? Only to repeat the same cycle the next day. It made no sense to me at all. I felt it was a miserable life.

As a medical secretary and office manager, my life mirrored hers. I would leave home between 6:30 am and 7 am Monday to Friday. I would only return home same time in the evening and just collapse on my bed. In less than 5 minutes, everyone could hear my snores reverberate through the door.

The worst was my weekends weren’t enough to recoup cos of how hard I worked. My brain was so fried I couldn’t do any mental tasks. All my weekend activities were therapeutic; praying, cooking, cleaning, and Netflix chilling. The latter was my real escape from my miserable life.

If any friends and family got in touch with me, I would lament endlessly. When Monday came, the cycle would start all over again.

The joke on me; I didn’t own a home or savings. I just collected my paychecks and handed the landlady a significant amount. She used part of those cheques to buy a 4th house. I kept something for feeding, transportation, phone bills, and bank bills. Sometimes, if I had an excess, some emergency or debt would swallow it up.

It felt like a freaking rat race that would never end, and I was too tired mentally to change things. I missed function after function. I had no energy to spend anywhere besides my bed.

In June 2023, my cousin got married in the United Kingdom. It was a huge family event everyone flew in to attend. Nope, I didn’t go. My excuses were endless;

No money to cover flights.

My passport would not be ready on time.

Visa processing would take too long.

No one would cover me at work.

Then the wedding came and went, and I wouldn’t stop regretting it.

Game changer

Then my sister invited me for her 40th birthday and I rolled out my bag of excuses once more. This time around, the family intervened. In a few weeks, I was in Europe.

Every time I change my routine and environment, my brain gets rewired. I see things from a fresh perspective.

Well, on that last trip, I suddenly fell in love with water. Many thanks to the flu I was battling. I would drink it first thing in the morning, after meals, and anytime I felt bloated. My body thanked me for that generosity.

I also noticed that everyone on that trip had well-paying jobs, even though that didn’t exactly stop them from complaining about the costs of living or lack of time for life outside work. But at least, they had purchasing power. Their decision to go on a holiday was very intentional and they could match their bank balances to that intention.

When I returned from that trip, I resumed work almost immediately. However, I noticed I still had this mental fogginess. So I took a few more days off.

It was one of those days I had a series of epiphanies; my life had been pretty screwed up for a while. It was time to stop working for my boss. My board exams were long overdue. It was time to put me first.

Where was the work-life balance I desperately needed? Some trade that for more income, but I had neither. To top it all, my brain was getting fried. Was this it?

For most of my life, I have always put myself second despite being premium. I ask people what they need before I ask myself what I need. And human nature being what it is, people take advantage of that.

It’s only in quiet moments I see everything as clearly as daylight. This is drastic but the day I drop dead, some will cry, and then continue with their lives while my soul is wandering somewhere on Middle Earth wondering what the hell happened.