TRANSGENDER
I[‘m Doing] it, My Way
Reflecting on my transition journey this week
WEEK 60 & 61 CHECK-IN:
Trans Life Past: My aim this week is to not ccompletely nope out, but if I do, to be ok with that, haha. In fact, ME noping out might be good if it gets me out of the way of my characters who are really trying to get shit done! Also, maybe, take a moment for self to reflect a little more on my current T experience, right?!
- I completely noped out. Lol. Like, to the point where I didn’t write anything here all week so then I decided, meh, I’ll just start again from this week. So that happened.
- But I am totally ok with it. Because I published two books! So yeah, I guess I nailed that part.
- As for reflecting on my current T experience, the conclusion is, it is what it is. Go me. So deep. But… hair. Yeah, always hair.
Priorities: 1. Keep getting out of the way — Stop trying to ‘be’ anything and just chill!
- It’s a WIP!
2. Edit without attachment — stop trying to claim them as MY stories and getting all possessive. They are my characters’.
- I think I did this. Mostly. I mean, Sugar Twink did end up 10k words longer so is now a long novella at 35k words (oops), but I got it done!
3. Make that cash — submit my blog posts
- I did that. And then five days later, they asked me where they were! WTF? Long story short, I don’t even know what happened, but I eventually got them through and then they gave me an extra last-minute urgent one to do, so mo-money, mo-money. lol.
T-Day and Beyond Daily Journal:
Day 415 (Sunday) — Day 420 (Friday):
Day 421 (Saturday): I’m so proud of my state right now! Hope over hate — yaaaaaas queen!
I was never politically invested until my egg cracked and I suddenly realized what my community has to deal with when knob-jockeys are elected.
The lead-up to the state government election here in Victoria, Australia, was odd. I received 2 things in the mail from our Labour party and both were about what the member would do if elected — improved education, health system, and transport. Sweet. And many things from the liberal party and independent party liberal preference supporters (namely binary Australia and some christian party). OMG, propaganda! I had no idea what they stood for except BOO, LABOUR. BOO LABOUR because they let gay people marry. BOO LABOUR because abortion is legal. BOO LABOUR because they believe in trans rights.
So, I felt like THIS election would be a clear indicator of the intelligence of my state and I am SO DAMN HAPPY to say that not only did we keep in Labour, but they won by a larger margin than last time and won several new seats that were historically held by the liberal party. So YAAAAAASSSS VICTORIA! Faith in my whole country restored. I guess it really is a small majority who are just shouting louder and louder because they are getting smaller and smaller.
The current state premier said that ‘hope will always beat hate’ and he was right! I HOPE we stay on this positive trajectory, and I HOPE other countries follow suit.
Day 422 (Sunday): Nope
Day 423 (Monday): I think I realize why I don’t want any ‘diagnosis’ for whatever my things are — I like them! Lol.
Maybe I don’t want anyone telling me there is something ‘wrong’ with the things I do and how I do them. I don’t want anyone trying to tell me that this is right, this is wrong, so let’s ‘transition’ you to normal (see what I did there? lol). I guess, I don’t believe in binary mental health, or binary neurology, or binary psychology, or binary anything, really. Except for binary code. That, I’ll accept for now.
Ultimately, I don’t care about a diagnosis not because I don’t want to ‘manage’ my life better or easier but becasue I don’t believe in NORMAL. There is no binary when it comes to people. I won’t be one.
Disclaimer — I’m talking about ME being ok with the things others may see as things to ‘fix’. Many need meds so that they CAN feel whatever their OK is. The point is, you do you. This is just me realizing why right now, I don’t need to know if I ‘have’ anything.
Day 424 (Tuesday): Am I the only trans masc person who hates facial hair?
The worst thing about T is getting ALL the things. But I’m non-binary at best. Agender feels more right. Ultimately, I don’t want ANY of the things. But, it’s a physical side effect I’ll deal with for the mental health and the things that I’ve both gained and lost that I DO want. Just, I wish I could have no hips and great muscles and…. other things, without the facial hair.
Day 425 (Wednesday): I finally hit publish on Sugar Twink!
I seriously love this book. It’s so much fun. Skylar and Tom crack me the hell up! And sexy times… yeah, ya know. I wrote sexy times. Lol, that’s an understatement — I wrote full-on gay daddy kink smut! And this book is why my google history is…. something. BUTT (hehehe), the sex is just the road to the feels. Oh, and this book fucks gender in every direction! *wink*
GET IT FREE on Kindle Unlimited! (external Amazon link so if you pay, I GET paid! Woot — cheers!)
And yes… there is a high likelihood that there is a book down the track for Joey and Blake. And maybe Alyssa needs one. And Reef absolutely does. Hmmm… wonder if Alyssa and Reef would work. Nah. Maybe? Nah. Lol.
Day 426 (Thursday): Yeah…. Nope.
Day 427 (Friday): So I published another book, because why not?
This one is a book of writing prompts. A few years ago, I set to writing flash fiction every day to get myself in the habit of writing. I made a story generator and it prompted the weirdest shit. I’ve posted a few on here:
Another Goodbye Let’s Drink to Better Days Not Much of a Superhero Olympius Hunting Singer and the Beast
So I made a generator with over 14 million combinations and auto-generated 365 for Story Bored. My favorites end in, “Bonus points if it’s queer.”
GET IT FREE on Kindle Unlimited! (external Amazon link so you pay, I GET paid! Woot — cheers!)
Day 428 (Saturday): Hair, but I’m ok with this!
Finally, hair growth on can get onboard with. Eyebrows! THANK YOU! That is all! Lol.
This Week’s Articles:
And on to WEEK 63:
Trans Life Ahead: More eyebrows please. Apart from that, I think I just need to keep rolling with this momentum towards less fucks, less stuff, less doing, less things, less distractions and more desire, more want, more satisfaction.
Priorities: 1. Embrace the stupid 2. Embrace the Lolz 3. Embrace the growth
Dose: 3 Pumps/day (37.5mg)