I Have an IUD — and My Sex Life Is Amazing

No periods, no pregnancy, and sweet, sweet freedom.

Taking charge of my sexuality and my body has never felt so freeing as when I got my IUD inserted.

After taking daily birth control pills for years and never really feeling satisfied with them, I decided it might be time for a change. I was stressed, had pretty heavy periods at times, and whenever I missed a pill (which was frequently) and felt uneasy about unwanted pregnancy, my sex life would inevitably suffer.

As a woman who can’t afford nor is prepared to raise a child right now, I felt that choosing a form of longer-term contraception was the best option for this time in my life. And, avoiding pregnancy wasn’t the only reason.

Also as a woman who has had painful period cramps for most of her youth and adult life, an IUD was a way (I was hoping) to help ease some of that discomfort.

I didn’t make the decision lightly, but I’m so happy that I did. It’s had some amazing benefits — and a few side effects, but more on that later.

I’ve had it now for over a year and a half, and honestly my sex life (and life in general) has never been better.

First of all— because I realize some people may not already be familiar — what in the world is an IUD??

It stands for Intrauterine Device, and is a T-shaped contraceptive that is fitted into a woman’s uterus to prevent pregnancy. There are several different kinds — some of which contain hormones (often the same hormones found in many birth control pills) or there is also a hormone-free copper IUD. The hormonal IUD can cause women to have fewer cramps and some to even stop having periods at all.

Depending on the type that you choose to get, an IUD can last for 3 up to 10 years.

That’s a long time to not have to worry about period pain or unwanted pregnancy!

Even though they are growing in popularity, many women are still wondering about how it works, if it’s painful, what side effects one could experience, and how it would affect their sex life. In the time that I’ve had mine, I’ve been asked numerous questions about my experience with it, and if I would recommend it. And, if getting one has affected my sex life.

The answer to both questions — yes!

These have been the most common questions about my experience.

Did it hurt when you got it?

I won’t lie — for the five minutes the doctor needed to insert it, yes, it hurt. For lack of a better phrase — it was the worst. I hated that part and wouldn’t necessarily be excited to do it again, but the thing is — it only lasted a few minutes.

After that, I had a bit of cramping, but was otherwise fine.

And moreover, they made sure I knew what was happening and were very understanding. They told me what to expect on the phone before I came in for the appointment, and I took a mild painkiller right beforehand. While I waited, they gave me a heat pad to put over my abdomen to warm it up and help me relax, which was awesome.

Then, like I said, five minutes of discomfort and they were done. And those five minutes of pain were well worth seven years of effective birth control. (That’s how long I can have mine for, though I have to get it checked again after a few years).

Were you very sore afterwards?

Before I made the appointment, I had talked to another friend who had gotten one and she said she had a lot of cramping afterwards — like a really bad period. So, I made the appointment on a Friday afternoon and was prepared to be laid up on the couch watching movies for the whole weekend.

But as it turns out, I was completely fine. This is obviously going to vary for each individual, but afterwards I was a little crampy for a few hours and then felt like I was a little tender, but mostly back to normal.

I did wait to become sexually active for about a week, though. That’s what the doctor recommended, and I wouldn’t have felt completely up to it anyway.

Do you still have periods?

Not really, no. Since I chose to go with the hormonal IUD and not the copper one, I haven’t gotten a “regular” period in more than a year. This is one of the common side effects. That being said, I have had a lot of minor — although random — spotting.

This is one of the best and worst parts of my IUD experience. I don’t have periods, which is such a blessing. I haven’t used a tampon in a long, long time.

I used to have heavy, painful periods that would come with all the horrible side effects we’re all familiar with — being irritable and emotional, headaches, bloating, cravings, cramps, sometimes nausea — and now I don’t. The worst I ever have now in terms of ‘period symptoms’ are minor cramps once in a while.

But — I do still have the occasional spotting. It can feel kind of random sometimes, or be somewhat aligned with what would be my time of the month. But it’s minor, meaning I wear a panty liner and that’s it. There’s really not much, which is a relief.

The worst part of my experience has been the constant spotting after I first got my IUD. This lasted for months. Again, there wasn’t much, so I would just wear a liner to protect my undies, but I had some spotting almost every day to every few days for the first six months. That was definitely annoying, but for me it was still so worth it.

I know everyone’s experience is going to be different, and I’ve been told that results can vary. I definitely don’t want to make any guarantee that if you decide to get an IUD you’ll stop having periods.

But I knew it was common and that’s what I was hoping for, and after that first six-month time of panty liners, my wish came true.

Can you or your partner feel it during sex?

This question comes up a lot!

It’s a valid concern, but the IUD is pretty far up (in your uterus), so the typical man isn’t necessarily going to be able to reach all the way up there. But, there are threads attached to the IUD that hang down. Because of this, there is a chance your partner could feel them.

But it’s important to know that the strings aren’t sharp or metallic in any way; they are kind of similar to fishing line material, that soften over time. (I know that’s kind of a gross concept, but bear with me).

So depending on the position, my partner has been able to feel the strings a bit in the past, but it’s not painful for either one of us. In his words it’s more of a ‘minor annoyance’, but it doesn’t happen often enough for us to be concerned or discouraged from being sexually active.

And as for me — I have never been able to feel it during sex.

Have you ever been worried about getting pregnant even with your IUD?

I suspect that probably every woman who is sexually active and not actively trying to get pregnant worries about it sometimes.

But in general, no, I don’t worry. That’s one of my favorite things about it — that I can be sexually active and not be concerned about an unwanted pregnancy. As with any birth control, however, there is always a very small risk. The IUD I have is over 99% effective.

The only way to 100% avoid risk of becoming pregnant is to not have sex.

What about if you want to get pregnant after they take it out?

Well, I’ve read and been assured by several doctors that most women (8 in 10) who have had an IUD and then want to conceive a child afterwards, have been able to do so within a year after removal.

I’m trusting that, and try not to worry about it.

So, did my sex life change after I decided to get an IUD? Yes! First off, there is definitely a freedom that comes with not having periods.

Halle-freaking-lujah.

Once I got past the part where I was spotting a lot for the first six months (which can make it a little messy when you’re trying to get intimate), the freedom to not worry about bleeding and tampons and cramps once a month, has been positively blissful.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but often when I had a heavy period accompanied by cramps and emotions galore, I would rather bite my partner’s hand off than have him touch me anywhere down there. Don’t get me wrong — period sex can have its pros and cons, but personally not having had to take that into consideration has been awesome.

It’s absolutely made my partner and I more spontaneous, too.

Without the factors of periods or having to wear a condom (although IUDs do NOT protect against sexually transmitted diseases, so keep that in mind), we have been open to getting frisky a lot more often, and a lot more randomly.

I used to take birth control every day in the form of a pill. And I was terrible at it. Unfortunately, like many other women, I would forget to take it some days, or not take it at the exact same time like you’re supposed to — and this contributed to a lot of worry on my end. If I missed a pill, I had that anxiety of knowing it was possible to get pregnant, which made me hesitant to be sexually active for at least a few days.

Plus, the pills were something I had to go pick up once a month, and now with my IUD, I’m set for several years.

Now I’m saving money, and I’m worry-free.

No periods, no pregnancy, safe sex, and sweet, sweet freedom.

Getting my IUD was one of the best decisions of my life, and I’m so thankful for it. Even though it took a while for my body to become adjusted to it, now I’m mostly free from periods and can be sexually active with my partner without the added consideration of possible pregnancy.

It’s helped me let loose, increase the spontaneity of my relationship, and spice up our sex life. I know everyone’s situation is going to be different, but my IUD has been a true life-changer.

I look forward to starting a family one day, but for now, I’m happy to continue living my life freely and responsibly, without being weighed down by painfully heavy cramping, or worrying about missing my daily pill.

My hope is that over time more women will be able to have that opportunity, too.

I’m grateful every day for having the option of birth control and planning for the future, and like I said before — my sex life has truly never been better.

© Samantha Blake 2020

You might also like: