Summary

The author expresses concerns about being taken advantage of by others, including a neighbor and a former boss, due to their willingness to be helpful, and emphasizes the importance of not undervaluing oneself in professional and personal interactions.

Abstract

The author recounts an incident where a neighbor assumed they would provide English coaching for free, despite having quit their job, indicating a sense of entitlement from the neighbor. This event triggers reflections on the author's past experience with their former boss, who undervalued their work and did not offer fair compensation. The author now exercises caution when applying for new jobs, looking for signs of potential exploitation by employers who want premium work for minimal pay. The author concludes that it is crucial to stand one's ground and not enable others to take advantage of one's generosity or professional skills.

Opinions

The author believes that people will often take more than what is offered if not set straight from the beginning.
There is a strong sentiment that one's time and professional skills should not be undervalued or exploited by others.
The author feels that their former boss was unjust in their compensation practices, despite being aware of the author's qualifications and contributions.
The author advises using company reviews and staff turnover rates as indicators to avoid working for employers who may exploit their employees.
The author quotes Shawn Bradley to reinforce the idea that vigilance is necessary to prevent being taken advantage of by others.
The author plans to confront their neighbor about the presumptuous request for free coaching, suggesting a need to educate others on the value of their time and expertise.

I Don’t Think Many People Are Altruistic. Give Them an Inch and They’ll Take a Mile.

People take advantage if you let them.

Three nights ago, I overheard my neighbor come down the stairs asking for me. They had moved in 7 months ago, and our relationship was amicable.

A few times, they had gifted us fruit baskets. I wondered about that many times. Being Ms. Nice, I had also done a couple of favors for them, sometimes going out of my way.

That night, I was half asleep and my husband was fully awake. I got out of bed to respond to the neighbor’s voice. He wanted me to coach his son twice a week in English tenses. Each session was to last 30 minutes. Half asleep, half awake, I agreed.

I woke up 2 hours later and analyzed that interaction. Why did this gentleman confidently come to my home, suggesting I should coach his son like we had some sort of agreement? Did we misunderstand each other? This gentleman knew I quit my job. If at all, he should have offered to pay for that service. Negotiations can always follow.

Immediately, all I saw were red flags. So I texted him and said I would offer to coach only once a week and my availability was subject to exigencies. I did not get a response until 24 hours later:

It is not a right fit for my plan. Thank you.

How on earth do you make that type of plan with other people’s time and resources?

I was super glad the adventure ended even before it started.

For a super important project, the best option is to pay someone who teaches English for a living and is good at it. Don’t be cheap.

My former boss.

Many people ask me why I quit my last job. I have many reasons. One of the strongest is feeling used and undervalued. It is the same reason that makes it hard for me to have another sit down with my boss and have a conversation where we renegotiate.

It’s hard for me to accept that there’s a middle ground with him as far as money’s concerned. He and I have had several conversations about salary increments. Many of these didn’t end well.

All I can think of is the warped ethos of someone who knows you are his junior colleague, yet pays you as if you did not go to school. This injustice negates any other good thing he brings to the table.

I had a chat with a friend who had a similar experience. She shared my sentiments. “Why on earth do they treat their junior colleagues that way? They leverage who you are, but won’t compensate you accordingly. Isn’t that hypocrisy?”

Company Job Postings

When I apply for jobs now, I listen to my gut. I use a few indicators to sniff out employers like my former boss. Never do I want to work for such people again.

I read company reviews from previous employees. I look out for information on staff turnover rate. These are telltale signs.

Back to our neighbor…

Reflecting on that conversation with my neighbor just brought dreadful memories. All I saw was another exploitation waiting to happen.

Shawn Bradley once said: “Don’t let people take advantage of you because they will.” I have worked for over a decade of my life and I have seen that my employers want to pay peanuts for premium service. If they had the chance, they probably would not pay at all.

You just don’t let them. That way, you don’t act as the enabler.

When the opportunity presents itself [and it will], my dear neighbor will get a piece of my mind. He needs to learn a thing or two.