SELF-IMPROVEMENT

I Control You — SYCH!

Day 7, 50 questions for deep self-reflection

This is day 7 of the 50 Questions for Deep Self-Reflection challenge from Know Thyself Heal Thyself created by Diana C.

DAY SEVEN: How can you relieve yourself of the burden of trying to problem solve your way into a pain-free existence?

Gees! Damn! Ow! That really stung! Hahaha.

Man, this is a significant question though, and again, one of those I need to ponder and consider. Let’s do that thing where I break it down.

Unpacking what it is to have a pain-free existence

I always find it easier to start with the goal of the question and work backward. Ha! Do I do this to try to ‘problem solve’ the question? That’s a definite possibility. Let’s just roll with it for now.

Ok, pain-free existence. What does that mean to me? I think, for me, that means being able to put myself first. That means listening to myself, discovering what I want, and being unapologetic about it. A pain-free existence for me doesn’t mean one in which nothing ever goes wrong or nothing ever changes, far from it, for we only learn in the challenges presented through life. I feel that for me; it means embracing everything that comes my way with an openness to accept the lessons.

Hmmm, I feel I’d like to redefine the word on this one to align with my current beliefs and experiences. I feel like pain doesn’t need to be a negative thing and so a pain-free existence actually feels like I’m missing out on something rather than living completely. So, I’d like to redefine ‘pain’ to dis-ease. Yes, I hyphenated it. You probably know where I’m heading.

I believe pain can be a good thing, but I believe it is in dis-ease that I suffer, so for me, this word makes more sense in the context.

A dis-ease free existence is one in which… everything I said above! Yes, that works much better. Ok, let’s go back to the full question.

How can I relieve myself of the burden of trying to problem solve my way into a dis-ease free existence?

Now the question comes together for me with a new sense of calm. Amazing the difference one word can make. Now, I can answer the question.

The answer becomes quite simple:

By releasing control of everything external

Dis-ease arises from the need to control things outside of myself. I can only control my own actions and reactions. That’s it. That’s all I’ve got. Stick a pin in that. The thing about control is that all it does is create a barrier. A wall. A blockage. If I create a block, I know well enough by now that I can’t get through it with the same thinking that built it — that just makes it stronger. So, if I try to control a situation by problem-solving my dis-ease, it will only block the natural solution and the dis-ease will grow.

I know this. Do I nail it every time? Hell no! But I’m working on it.

If you are interested in the journey so far — all the days that came before, I’ve collected all the article links here:

Don’t miss out on anything! Follow/subscribe for notifications and be the first to catch my latest articles. Run out of free reads? Click here to join Medium now for access to everything. Please note, this is an affiliate link and I receive a financial reward if you follow the link to join. Thank you for feeding the author!