I Asked A Man To Hold My Penis
So that I could have a wee!
It was a day that will never leave my memory, February the 12th, 2018, just two days after my birthday. It was snowing outside, and my drive was thick; I would have to dig the car out.
A mouth full of exhaust fumes, hands like icicles and a shovel that had seen better day, I started to clear a pathway off my drive and out to the road.
Even though the car had been running for twenty-plus minutes, it was still cold when I got in the car; it was a bitter day.
I could not drive into work like usual; there were so many road closures, I just had a feeling it would be one of those days. Little did I know, I was shortly due to be in an accident that would land me in hospital.
The journey to work took me around 45 minutes, and this is about 15 minutes longer than usual; I got out of the car and walked into work; the ground was slippery underfoot.
I knew my first job was to make the place safe for the other members of staff who were about to arrive. Getting out the salt and grit and spreading it around the walkways the staff began to arrive.
One of the engineers opened the back gate to the storage containers, “drat” I thought, I have not gritted out there, so rushed to sort that area out also, that was a mistake that I will always regret…” rush”
The ground just inside the metal gates had no snow, there was a patch of ice that I did not see, over I went with a loud thud!
I felt embarrassed and hoped that no one had seen me fall, I composed myself then went to get up “F**k” I yelped, I could not get up, time seemed to go in slow motion, as I tried to et up again and failed.
Assessing the situation, I realised I could not move my right arm, then checked, yes it was still there, but I was in pure agony when I tried to move it, I had no choice, I had to call for help.
The owner of the company was the first on the scene with one of our head engineers, he asked a simple question, “can’t you get up”, my response was not polite.
They could then tell the situation was not good, as I tried to move again and screamed in pain, more people arrived on the scene and they tried to move my right arm, it was no good I was in agony.
They called the emergency services and were told because I was safe at work, it is likely to be around a 2-hour wait, I could not believe my ears, it was snowing, I was outside lying on the ground in agony and they said I was not an emergency.
The team go the industrial heaters out and had something to rest my head on, but there was another problem, I needed to go to the toilet, and I was unable to move, possibly for the next two hours.
There was no choice, I needed someone to help me, I called a college (Oliver) over and asked him to get my protein shaker and to bring it to me, he brought back a cup of tea with a few sugars in it, saying it would be better for me.
I had to explain, that I did not want a drink, I needed something to wee into, his eyes nearly popped out, “how are you going to do that?” he asked. I explained he would have to hold my penis and point it into the pot.
His eyes went back into his head and his neck and face started to go red, he conceded that it was the only way, I reminded him I was the one in need, fair play, he did a great job and even gave it a shake!
The deed was done, so now I could get back to the pain, Oliver came back and said they had phoned the hospital again and they suggested I make my own way in as they were stretched.
Oliver called in six guys from the offices, they devised a plan to move me but had to cut my clothes off first to make sure there were no open wounds etc, the cold weather probably helped.
They helped me move and I screamed so much one of the guys walked away in tears, he could not stand and watch anymore, another guy threw up and just missed my head in the process.
I sat up, my arm was now bent over in front of me and they put a sling on me. One of the guys got a van and they put me in it and drove to the hospital.
To be fair I went straight in to see a nurse, who made an assessment, I needed an X-Ray, the verdict was I had fractured my shoulder and arm in four places, at least it was not a bruised shoulder, as that would have been embarrassing!
It resulted in four months of work, rehabilitation, physiotherapy and keyhole surgery to fix a frozen shoulder, and I will always be thankful to Oliver who held my penis so that I could have a wee!
Please would you buy me a Ko-fi
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