I Am Living My Dancer’s Dream

In response to the May 2023 DEP Photography prompt and weekly prompt 31/52

As I browsed through my dance videos, trying to take nice screenshots to use as dance photos for my future movement workshops, my heart swelled with pride seeing these gorgeous snapshots.

I’m filled with sweet gratitude and beaming with pride for creating all these wonderful dance memories. I’d love to share some of them with you here!

Dressing up and dancing like a garden flow fairy for the first time in July 2021

I bought my first pair of silk fan veils in December 2020, while dealing with the long-term reality of the pandemic. I coped with my country’s first lockdown in April and May by taking online dance classes and sharing my practice dance videos online. Dance helped me stay uplifted, but I needed the silk fan veils' softness, grace, and expansiveness to encourage me to dance, even when I felt emotionally wrecked.

Dancing with my silk fan veils comforted me through my mother’s unexpected hit-and-run accident that left her stuck in a wheelchair for three months. She is active and well now and even took up a new hobby of baking cakes and tarts! There were other not-so-personal but devastating events of accidental death, suicide, and teenage murder that I couldn’t shake off till I danced to process, release, and integrate my feelings.

In February 2021, I was shown through a past-life regression that once I was a dancing flower fairy! My entire existence was a neverending dance devoted to blessing my world. Then, I lived another life as a human girl who was forbidden to dance physically, but I would always escape to my flower garden and imagine dancing so freely in my mind. My silk fan veils remind me of the wings I used to have as a fairy.

As a tired mom of three sons, I rarely wear dresses, preferring to live in comfy T-shirts and shorts instead. So, you can imagine it was quite a huge milestone for me to buy more twirly dresses to film myself dancing like a flower fairy, in my favorite park, with my favorite rain trees. I will always remember this treasured memory.

Dancing throughout my annual solo staycation in Feb 2023

I have been treating myself to annual 3D2N solo staycations since 2020. They are all fully sponsored by hubby dearest! The first time I did this in Feb 2020, I only took one Hip Hop dance class in my favorite dance studio and spent the rest of the time mindlessly scrolling on my phone. I missed my family and didn’t sleep much.

In 2021, I brought my silk fan veils and silk poi and danced with them in the hotel’s sky garden. I was very shy and didn’t enjoy myself that much.

In 2022, I booked a loft studio to perform my first online conscious burlesque dance to a wonderful online audience of soulful, supportive women. You can read more about my experience here.

This year, I had more experience and confidence to dance publicly. I took my tripod and silk fan veils to the beach, allowing myself to take up space and immerse into a magical flow state while dancing to the song ‘Turning Pages’ by Sleeping At Last.

It’s so different dancing alone as myself, not as a mom or wife, simply as a woman reclaiming her passion for dance. It was a thrilling sense of freedom, creativity, and empowerment.

Learning a Contemporary Dance class in April 2023

I have been consistently taking online dance classes through the STEEZY Studios since November 2021, and its global online dance community is incredibly passionate and supportive. So many different dance genres are being taught on STEEZY, and I fell in love with Contemporary Dance.

Contemporary Dance feels so grounding, expansive, and cathartic. After taking a few basic classes online, I braved myself and tried taking in-person workshops. Even though I lack a basic foundation in those turns and kicks techniques, I adore dancing with these young adults. Just thinking about it fills my eyes with tears of gratitude. Dancing like this lifts my spirits!

Final Thoughts

Looking back at these fond memories through these dance photos, I realized I was already living my dancer’s dream through these experiences, collecting precious moments when I wasn’t doubting myself or suffering from comparisonitis.

These meaningful snapshots inspire me to be this highest version of myself. It’s my way of self-actualization, fulfilling the reverse hierarchy of needs as highly sensitive and creative people tend to do.

There’s no endless striving or beating myself up. It’s about being gentle with myself to feel deeply fulfilled within.

Thank you, dear Vidya Sury, Collecting Smiles, for this deeply meaningful prompt!

I love Amina Giselle's simple hacks to more happiness!