How To Succeed In Living A Life That’s True To Yourself

It all starts with these three key questions.

It’s important that we dedicate time to reflect on where we are in our lives and where we wish to go. Regular reflection leads to higher self-awareness and that’s the key to identifying whether we are living a life true to our calling or if it’s time to open new doors.

Knowing exactly how to spend time in reflection, however, isn’t easy. Where do you begin?

That being said, here are three reflective questions you should ask yourself every month to make sure you are on the right path to living a life of truth.

1. Who Do I Want to Become and Why?

The first question begins with the aspect of identity. New goals require new habits (or behaviours), and behaviour change begins with identity change.

“It’s hard to change your habits if you never change the underlying belief that led you to your past behaviour. You have a new goal and a new plan, but you haven’t changed who you are.” — James Clear

For years, I wanted to write and publish articles. And for years, I didn’t. I would try to build the habit of writing, but my enthusiasm would quickly wane.

And I never understood why until I realized that the very act of public writing itself was incongruent with who I was, or how I saw myself to be. I did not see myself as a writer. That’s why I couldn’t get a habit of writing to stick — it wasn’t an extension of who I am as a person.

But all that changed when I chose to make writing a part of my identity. “Writer” became the answer to the question of who I wish to become.

I want to become a writer [who], because, through my words, I want to help people transform their lives and inspire them to start exploring their ideas, creating more good in this world and becoming better humans in the process of doing so [why].

Changing your identity will help you build habits that stick. You have to shed your older self. You have to integrate the element of who you want to become into the fabric of who you are today.

Who do you wish to become — and why? That’s the question. Take your time to answer it. Give it the attention it deserves.

Figure out who you want to become and why you want to do so. Your why will be the fire to refuel you when you’re about to give up.

“The highest achievers in the world have all succeeded because they mapped out their visions. The person who has a clear, compelling, and white-hot burning why will always defeat even the best of the best at doing the how.” — Darren Hardy

If you want to publish articles or write a book, then you want to become a writer. If you want to run a marathon, then you want to become a runner. If you want to lose weight, then you want to become athletic. If you want to stop smoking, then you want to become a non-smoker.

It is only by becoming that you can begin to think and act like the person that you wish to become. And this leads us to question number two.

2. Will My Actions Today Create Who I Wish to Become Tomorrow?

If the question of who you want to become is the key to change, the question of daily actions is the bridge to get you there.

Want to know where you’ll be in a year’s time? Look at what you’re doing today. Do you aspire to become a writer? Well, did you write today? You want to be in the best shape of your life. That’s great, but did you exercise today?

What you do today is a direct reflection of who you will become tomorrow. That’s because you are your habits — you are what you repeatedly do.

Once you identify who you want to become, you need to transform yourself into that person. You need to adopt the characteristics of that person.

If you said you want to become a writer, then you need to act like a writer.

A writer writes, so if you wish to become one, you need to adopt the characteristic of writing into your daily schedule. A runner runs, so if you wish to become one, you need to incorporate a running program into your weekly schedule.

“If you keep on living like the way you are now, you will continue to produce the same life you already have.” — Jim Rohn

Your habits and behaviours are the anchors that hold you back from sailing your life in the right direction. Take a very close look at what you do every single day. These little actions that you do today will accumulate into something significant in the future. The question remains — will they lead you to where you wish to be?

What you do every day today will be a direct reflection of who you’ll be in one year’s time. If your actions are weighing you down and not leading you down the path of who you wish to become, then you need to rid yourself of them immediately.

“If there’s a discrepancy between what you say and what you do, I’m going to believe what you do every time.” — Darren Hardy

Actions speak louder than words.

Identifying who you wish to become gives you the direction you need to move your life forward. Evaluating what you do every day — and trimming the winds (actions) that don’t contribute to your sails — gives you the focus you need to get there.

3. What Does Success Mean to Me and How Do I Define It?

A year ago, I left my job at Google to try and launch my own business — people told me I was crazy for doing so.

Today, I’m 30. I have little savings in the bank, but I am so rich in life lessons, experiences, self-awareness, friendships and memories. I’ve lived in 6 countries, travelled to over 40, and am currently striving to build a sustainable business.

My friend has worked since his days at college. He’s lived in the same country since birth, but he has $20,000 in his bank account and owns a house.

Who is more successful?

It doesn’t matter what society thinks. You do you, and you stay true to your calling. That’s what makes you successful — and happy. You define success, not society. The less you care about what people think, the happier you’ll be.

In a world that is digitally connected more than ever, it’s easy to get lost in the noise. It’s easy for an aspiring writer to look at a New York Times Bestseller and think “I am not successful, I am not worthy”. It’s easy for a new bootstrapping entrepreneur to read up on all the thriving startups that are getting millions in funding and think “I am not successful, I am not worthy”.

It’s easy to trip on the wrong side of the coin.

You can choose to focus on what you don’t have. You can choose to compare yourself to other people’s outer image of “success”. You will probably live an unhappy life doing so, draining your energy on inaccurate external factors.

Or you can stay in your lane, keep your eyes on your own game and benchmark “the past you” against “the present you” as a lever for measuring progress and success…

Once you identify who it is you want to become and figure out what you need to do every day to become that, you then need to lay out the definition of success in your own terms.

My definition of success is living a life on my own terms where I stay true to my calling, pursue what I love, be supportive to my family and friends, and inspire people to do good through the words that I write and the projects that I create.

That’s what I want to give to the world. And I measure success by my commitment to the act of showing up every day and doing what I need to get there.

By defining success on your own terms, you shift your attention from what you cannot control to what you can control.

You zone out of the world, the media, the news, the connections — the insignificant noise around you — and you flow right through the process you have in place to do the daily work that will transform you into who you want to become.

In other words, tune-out of the distracting noise around you and tune-in on the diligently working silence within you.

The Takeaway

“Where you are is a result of who you were, but where you go depends entirely on who you choose to be, from this moment on.” — Hal Elrod

Life is short. Don’t let it slide. Don’t allow yourself to drift through it aimlessly.

The end of every month marks the beginning of a new one. I advise you to schedule an hour per month to sit down, open a journal and have an honest conversation with yourself.

Reflect on who you said you wanted to become. Are you doing the daily work that’ll get you there? Are you still showing up, or are you getting distracted by the success of others?

Sometimes, you might find that who you had set out to become a year ago is no longer the person you genuinely wish to become today. That’s okay. That’s fine. That’s a byproduct of change — it’s called personal growth through higher self-awareness.

Now’s the time to re-shuffle your cards and determine where you want to go next. Whatever you decide to do, stay true to yourself and be a good human.

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