Education
How to Succeed in a Mentoring Relationship
7 Tips For Entrepreneurs To Get The Most Out Of Mentorship
I must have been a terrible mentee to my first officially recognized mentor. I recall being constantly frustrated that he did not tell me exactly what I needed to do, and give me detailed steps on how to live my best life. I found it annoying how at each of our meetings he asked for minute details about my business, and then instead of specific solutions gave multiple suggestions I could try to solve my problems.
I hated the experience.
Signing up for the mentorship program had required me to fill out a form giving details about who I am, what business I am involved in, and who I want to be and what I want to do with my life. They had an algorithm that would then pair you with someone that is most likely to successfully guide you and help you grow into that person you envision yourself to be.
“Our chief want in life is somebody who will make us do what we can.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
Now that I look back, despite my frustrations, that first mentor was a perfect fit for me. He knew how to ask all the right questions to recognize my problems and help me discover my own solutions for them. He helped me grow. He encouraged me to consider my personal circumstances and gave helpful advice and enough space to make my own decisions — which he respected.
I hated the experience mostly because I did not know much about myself, and he asked uncomfortable questions that forced me to look inward. I also thought it was his responsibility to ensure that our relationship was a success. I have since received mentorship from other people, and have improved greatly in my role as a mentee.
I believe both the mentor and mentee have a key role to play in enabling the success of the mentoring relationship. Being a mentor has made me realize my weaknesses as a mentee by observing them in those placed under my mentorship wing.
If you have read this far, chances are you have been in a mentoring relationship before. Do you usually feel that your successes or failure were a result of external factors beyond your control? As a mentee have you wished that your mentor would give more specific, applicable advice? Have you felt that you were doing your best but not quite creating desired results?
These are the lessons I have learned about mentorship and this is how I believe the mentee can help the mentorship relationship thrive.
1. Get to know your mentor and respect their time.
It is important that the mentor and mentee get to know each other beforehand and respect each other’s time. Mentoring relationships thrive when built on a foundation of personal trust and respect.
As a mentee of Gonçalo Vasconcelos, early personal conversations with him helped us develop mutual respect and empathy, as well as a mutual interest in each other. I developed a close connection with my mentor through being open, personal and soon found out that we shared important values and beliefs.
I was very reflective of the effort that my mentor went through to be a part of the program. I also appreciated the sacrifice in terms of time, and being respectful of that helped our relationship blossom.
2. Communicate frequently.
Keeping up frequent dialogues with the mentor enables you to have efficient communication. Utilize the channels that your mentor has indicated are comfortable for them to use.
Given that we live in different countries and sometimes life has a tendency of getting overwhelming, we maintained our relationship by maintaining ongoing chats through Whatsapp, both professional and casual communication.
There was a time I had a medical emergency on a day I was supposed to have a meeting with my mentor. I communicated via email as soon as I found out I would not make it for the meeting, hours in advance of our meeting. This open and frequent communication served well to strengthen our mentoring relationship.
3. Have a flexible and well-evaluated business plan.
If your mentor is supposed to help you improve your business, it is important that you have a business plan. Plans are important. If your mentor is more of a life coach, have an idea about what it is you need help with to help you live your best life.
Plans provide a trajectory you can be accountable to. I usually have an overall plan where smaller action plans are in time frames, allowing small tasks to be identified and acted upon. Having several plans for several different periods allows me to plan for different stages in the year.
Flexibility is also important. The ability to constantly revise and update plans based on new factors is essential. Do not be afraid of evaluating your business plan and adapting it where necessary. It’s impossible to legislate accurately for what might happen in a year, but having a fluid and living plan is a great way to prepare.
4. Be professional and well-planned in your communication.
Mentoring relationships succeed when communication is efficient. Through courteous and prompt communication, you will be able to attain a successful flow of communication in your mentoring relationship.
I used to send agendas to my mentor in advance of the meeting, the key points from our discussion after we had finished the meeting, and we would schedule the next meeting towards the end of our discussion.
I would also send a reminder email three days in advance of our meeting. This included the agreed time and targets of the meeting. An accurate and efficient dialogue will help your relationship to thrive.
5. Do your research.
So much work can be done while waiting for the next meeting. Research and prepare for the meeting.
It is vital for you as the mentee to keep up-to-date on the environment that you are operating in and the industry in general. Know the statistics in your field and how they relate to the global environment. Know the policies governing your work and how you can use them to your advantage.
In addition, research your competitors and potential collaborators as this will avail you more avenues for your business. It also gives you a rich foundation off of which you can ask your mentor questions that will help your business grow and thrive.
6. Be realistic with your expectations
Research shows that the top mentees make is thinking that the mentor is supposed to tell them exactly how to go about their life henceforth. This is wrong. The mentor is there as a guide. You have the option to take their advice with a pinch of salt and then make your own decisions.
Be realistic with your expectations out of the relationship, as well as the time burden on your mentor.
Do your part! If you do not do the work, nothing will work.
After meetings, ensure that you act on what was agreed upon. Do not do this so that you have something to report about at the next meeting. Rather, do it with the faith that your mentor wants the best for you. If you do not do the work, nothing will work. Words are just words until acted upon.
7. It is okay for the mentoring relationship to end
I suck at goodbyes. It is hard for me to let people go.
When it comes to mentoring relationships, many have come to that awkward stage where it is obviously time to say goodbye but neither person knows how to.
Appreciating the fact that your mentor has contributed to your journey, and that it is okay for both of you to move on is part of what contributes to the success of a mentoring relationship.
I have since received valuable mentorship from eight other wonderful mentors as part of the Queen’s Young Leaders Program, Cherie Blair Foundation Mentorship Program and Malaika Mentorship Program. I have mentored over 3000 young people on personal development, and I have been a dedicated mentor to 16 people so far.
The floor is yours. What have your mentoring relationships been like? What contributed to their success or failure?
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