7 Most Alluring Traits Of A Great Life Partner

Choose someone who loves you even when you feel broken.

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” — Audrey Hepburn

My friend Laura is the most openly-broken person I know. Most of us are broken in different ways; mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, intellectually, financially — there is really a multitude of ways to be broken.

However, not many people I know choose to wear it proudly as a moniker. Announcing to all and sundry about how broken they are.

Laura is not “many people”, she chooses to let anyone who listen know how beautiful but unlucky she is.

It was surprising to all who know her when Laura found the love of her life 3 years ago. She wasn’t searching for him. If anything, they stumbled upon each other and are now a couple we hashtag #relationshipgoals in these days. They are such an attractive pair and emanate an aura of love whenever they are together.

Laura is my friend from high school. She believed she had bad luck and used every chance to remind us that her surname, Abalo, meant “I have spoilt it”.

And true to her manifestation, whenever we were doing something wrong or naughty, as long as she was a part of the group, we would get caught and punished. She really did have a knack for attracting all forms of bad luck.

She consistently reminded me of Sadness from the Disney Pixar’s animation Inside Out. Here she is for your reference. Laura was full of complaints about how she was doomed to never find happiness or love in her life because bad luck followed her everywhere.

Fast forward to early 2018.

Laura met Ryan who has completely changed her life around. When she says Ryan was sent to her straight from God, I nod wholeheartedly. I agree with that sentiment. He is the kind of great partner she needed to save her from herself.

He helped her understand the law of attraction and the possibility of manifesting the exact life you want in every aspect of your life. He also inspired her into loving herself generously because of how unconditional his love for her was.

Because of the love that they have towards each other, they have inspired their circle of friends into the realization that there is a “great partner” for everyone.

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” — Robert A. Heinlein

So, who exactly constitutes a Great Life Partner?

It might take time for you to find your great life partner, but there is one for everyone.

A great life partner is someone who makes you feel happy in your soul. You feel like they are your best friend and make your life more meaningful. They fill up your heart with joy and are interested in you for who you are, and not just what you represent.

My definition of a great life partner might differ from yours, but at the base of all things, a great life partner is someone who loves you regardless of your shortcomings.

Here are 7 fantastic traits of a great life partner and guiding thoughts on who you should choose for a great relationship, and how you can develop these traits for yourself:

1. A Great Life Partner Gives You Their Undivided Attention When You Need It

“Love pays attention. Love notices. Love listens.” — Unknown

Life is a little crazy sometimes. Time is short. Work is hectic. Bills are due. Commutes are long. Social media is distracting.

To live a happy, fulfilling life, we really need to slow down now and then and take a look around. To live in the present moment. To appreciate where we are, what we have, and who we are around. This is especially necessary when we are in a relationship, or even just relating to others around us.

It is easy to become distracted and not give our partner the attention or affection that they crave and deserve as a human being. This can quickly lead to feelings of being unappreciated or taken for granted.

A great relationship is not about choosing the person that you are going to sit next to on the couch while your faces glow from your the light of the social media apps on each of your phones.

Choose to be with someone who gives you their undivided attention.

How can you develop this trait for yourself?

Choose to be someone who forgets that they even have their phone on them when you are with your partner. Be someone who genuinely wants to know how your partner’s day was. Someone who listens.

You do not need an empty distraction to make it through the time with your partner. Be someone who enjoys being with your partner in silence just as much as they love exploring the depths of your mind through conversation.

Be someone who understands that the one person in front of them is far more important than the hundreds behind the screen in their hand.

Choose to be someone who gives your partner your undivided attention.

2. A Great Partner Loves You Unconditionally

“Love is not a temporary feeling or emotion. Emotions and feelings change, sometimes daily. But true unconditional love is everlasting.” — Sandeep Maheshwari

There is a story I like. It is about the Japanese, fixing cracks in broken vessels with gold. The art is called Kintsugi.

According to Wikipedia, Kintsugi (“golden joinery”), also known as kintsukuroi (“golden repair”), is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.

In Kintsugi, the broken pottery pieces are put back together with gold — built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art.

Every break is unique and instead of repairing an item like new, the technique actually highlights the “scars” as a part of the design.

Using this as a metaphor for healing and loving ourselves and our partners teaches us an important lesson: Sometimes in the process of repairing things that have broken, we actually create something more unique, beautiful and resilient.

In life, generally speaking, many of us are broken in different ways — emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, intellectually, or even spiritually.

A great life partner, like Ryan is for Laura, will understand their partner’s brokenness, and still be willing to love them wholeheartedly, regardless.

Choose to be with someone who loves you even when you feel broken.

Choose to be with someone who loves you unconditionally.

How can you develop this trait for yourself?

Perfection is a myth.

Nobody’s perfect. We can’t be right all the time and we all make mistakes. However, we have to learn who we really are. And learn how to better relate with those around us.

Always remember that nobody is perfect. You are not perfect, so do not hold your partner up to standards that even you can’t uphold. Focus on the good about your partner instead of the bad.

Choose to be someone who loves your partner unconditionally.

3. A Great Partner Is Fair, Respectful, Loyal And Honest

“If you choose to be in a relationship, be honest and loyal. If you can’t do those simple things, be single. — Charles Orlando.

I had not realized that a loyal and honest partner has to be fair and respectful, first. But when Mod Parlor generously pointed this out in the comments section, I had to edit the article to include that.

“A good partner is fair and respectful. A great partner is fair, respectful, loyal and honest.” — Mod Parlor

Fairness and respect are fundamentals that are ignored too often yet they should not be. Thank you, Mod!

In addition, honesty and loyalty should not be difficult traits to find. However, they are.

Admittedly, the only thing that really causes cheating is a cheater. But I think we still need to understand that someone who will cheat on you, does, in fact, have more ways to go about it these days — and also more ways to hide it.

Honesty and loyalty are cornerstone traits to the very foundation of any relationship: Trust. Therefore, trust must be earned by displaying these qualities frequently.

What could be more important than love in a relationship? Trust.

Over time, of being together with someone, the goosebumps and the mushy feeling you’d get at seeing your partner subside. Do not give your trust to someone who has not earned it.

Choose to be with someone who is loyal and honest.

How can you develop this trait for yourself?

Remember that love cannot live where there is no trust.

Trust forms the foundation for love. Trust is something that is earned through actions. It is the sense of security that allows both partners to expose themselves fully to each other without any fear of judgment.

When you are in a relationship with someone, it is natural for feelings of love and connection to fluctuate over time. Every relationship has those dry spells, but trust is consistent.

Choose to be someone who instills trust in your partner and in your relationship.

Choose to be someone who is loyal and honest to your partner.

4. A Great Life Partner Creates A Comfortable Space For You To Be Weird

“We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.” — Dr. Seuss

Let’s face it, you’re a little weird. I am a little weird. We all have our quirks and unique qualities that we may keep hidden from the world for fear of being judged. I believe that this is natural, and that there’s nothing wrong with it (as long as it doesn’t harm anyone).

That being said, your life partner should be someone whom you feel completely comfortable expressing your secrets and desires to.

He or she should know, and accept, the things that you don’t tell other people in the world. The right person for you isn’t going to try to iron out all of your wrinkles, they are going to love each individual one just the same — because those wrinkles are what make you, YOU.

This comfort comes from being able to be open and honest with each other, and that comfort comes from being able to open up without fear of being judged.

Choose to be with someone you’re comfortable being weird with.

How can you develop this trait for yourself?

Consistently allow your partner to express themselves in whatever ways are most authentic to them. Allow a safe space where they can easily be open and honest with you without fear of judgement.

Choose to be someone that makes your partner feel comfortable being weird.

5. A Great Life Partner Values Effective Communication With You

“A good relationship starts with good communication.” — Unknown

According to this study, language is what makes us human. It is how people communicate.

The study, which is published in the US National Library of Medicine and National Institutes of Health, goes on to say that learning a language, means you have mastered a complex system of words, structure, and grammar to effectively communicate with others.

In love, as in any meaningful human connection, communication is essential.

However, it would be difficult to communicate effectively with someone with whom you speak entirely different languages.

We all experience love differently. When we are with someone we love, we want them to be able to speak our love language. That is how we feel seen, heard, and loved.

The happiest couples know their own, and their partner’s love languages. They set out to continually love their partner in the language they feel loved the most.

This is why effective communication is so important. This is why choosing to love someone every day is so important. This is why relationships aren’t perfect fairy tales (and also why they fail often these days), because they take work that isn’t always fun.

But just because you argue or disagree or get frustrated with someone, doesn’t mean you stop loving them. If you have a house and something breaks, you don’t walk out and sell the house. You fix what’s broken and keep moving forward.

Choose to be with someone who values effective communication with you.

How can you develop this trait for yourself?

Know your own love language so that you can guide your partner on how to love you best. Similarly, you should learn to speak your partner’s love language if you want to keep falling in love with each other.

Choose to be someone who values effective communication with your partner.

6. A Great Life Partner Appreciates And Accepts Who You Truly Are

You had to accept it as a whole — like the world, or the person you loved.” ― Stewart O’Nan

In love, a great life partner accepts their partner as a whole, with their flaws and weaknesses, too. In our visual generation, everything has been chiseled down to looks.

We swipe right or left on our dating app after two seconds of seeing someone’s face, and (maybe) reading a 300 character bio about them.

We want the person who will look the best in our selfies.

We want the person who will help us create an image of the life we want to live — all the while overlooking the person who would actually be our teammate on the journey we truly want.

Choose a life partner who appreciates your outer beauty, but understands that it pales in comparison to your loving, genuine heart.

Someone who understands that your perfect skin will someday wrinkle and your beautiful hair will someday thin. Be with someone who understands that it’s not the photos that are important, but the memories you are creating while taking them.

Be with someone who truly loves and accepts you for who you are today, while they support you on your journey to become who you’ve always dreamed of being.

Choose to be with someone who appreciates and accepts who you truly are.

How can you develop this trait for yourself?

As I mentioned in 2 above, remember that perfection is a myth. Nobody is perfect. Love your partner as they are and encourage them to grow into who they could be.

Choose to be someone who appreciates and accepts your partner for who they truly are.

7. A Great Life Partner Has A Positive Mindset Towards Life

“Whenever you’re in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.” — William James

Ryan introduced Laura to the power of positive thinking. He got her to read the book by the same title written by Norman Vincent Peale. He watched The Secret with her and showed her how they could grow the relationship of their dreams through manifestation.

He has always had such a positive mindset towards love and life.

The Law of Attraction states that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person’s life.

The belief is based on the idea that people and their thoughts are made from “pure energy”, and that a process of like energy attracting like energy exists through which a person can improve their health, wealth, and personal relationships.

This plays into relationships because whatever mindset you have towards situations in relationships is what manifests.

A relationship at its core is all about respect for the other person — and respect goes both ways.

Your thoughts, mindset, and attitude towards the relationship really matter.

If you have a positive mindset towards the concept of a successful relationship, then you open up the possibilities of having a successful life partnership with your partner.

Choose to be with someone who has a positive mindset towards your relationship, and towards life in general.

How can you develop this trait for yourself?

Understand that we are all energy, and learn to use the power of energy in your favour.

I recommend that you watch The Secret.

Choose to be someone who has a positive mindset towards your relationship, and towards life in general.

For my friend Laura, Ryan in the perfect life partner.

He is the kind of great partner she needed to save her from herself, and she has grown into a great partner for him, too. They are now engaged and will say their nuptials in December this year. I am so excited for them!

I wish you loads of great love and happiness and partnership in all your relationships.

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