Summary

The article emphasizes the importance of self-acceptance and self-love in overcoming internal conflicts and living a joyful and peaceful life.

Abstract

The article "How to Stop Being at War With Yourself to Live a Peaceful and Joyful Life" discusses the societal pressures to conform and be likable, which often lead to internal conflicts as individuals struggle to balance their genuine selves with the expectations of others. It highlights the emotional turmoil caused by self-rejection and the importance of authentic living. The author suggests that by accepting one's flaws, focusing on personal needs, and practicing self-love, individuals can end their self-created wars, embrace freedom, and find true happiness. The article encourages readers to prioritize their well-being, accept their vulnerabilities, and understand that self-love is the foundation for a fulfilling life.

Opinions

The author believes that the societal expectation to impress others leads to a neglect of one's genuine self, resulting in anger, frustration, and anxiety.
It is conveyed that life becomes heavenly when one lives authentically, and hellish when one cannot be true to oneself.
The article suggests that expecting others to take care of your emotional needs is futile, and that self-care and self-love are paramount.
The author emphasizes that giving others freedom is essential for personal liberation, as clinging to expectations can hold you back.
The piece argues that happiness should not be dependent on others, and that being happy with oneself is crucial for a peaceful life.
The author opines that accepting one's flaws and vulnerabilities is a sign of strength, not weakness, and leads to a more authentic and joyful existence.
The article posits that self-love is the key to resolving internal conflicts and that it allows individuals to embrace their true selves without mental reservations.

How to Stop Being at War With Yourself to Live a Peaceful and Joyful Life

‘When you reject yourself, you reject the universe. Start to accept your genuine self to celebrate and enjoy life.’ — Osho

We can’t afford to be repulsive. We are trained to be likable.

“Don’t laugh like a monkey. Don’t talk like a nut. Sound intelligent. Be smart and confident.”

People assume many things about you in the short span of a meeting. Hence the unsaid diktats.

Impressing the other is inherited within our genes. Either in work or personal relationships.

Our talks, smiles, and actions have become effortless towards impressing others. While prioritizing others, we often forget who we are and what we want.

Conflicts between who you are and what you are faking become intense. Till one day, slowly, you overshadow your original being.

Anger, frustration, and anxiety become your best friends. Self-created war moves you away from what could be a joyful life.

You Can Become Your Greatest Enemy or Your Best Friend — The Choice Is Always Yours

Life is hell when you can’t be ‘you.’ Life is heaven when you are at ease. The tremendous difference between heaven and hell lies in your authentic living.

My friend recommended me to her friend, who was undergoing a significant trauma in her life. She lost her husband last year. Nobody in her family supported her.

We talked for more than an hour. She eventually realized she was giving importance to everyone but herself.

Losing someone close is traumatic. But not giving oneself the space to grieve and tailing everyone is a blunder. It is unforgivable.

Nobody actually cares. Treat yourself with the utmost love.

Expecting the other to take care of you is like walking on a sharp ax and blaming the ax for cutting your feet.

You Genuinely Become Free When You ‘Give’ Freedom

Imagine a person dragging the cow with a rope. The more he hauls, the more he is pulled backward.

The cow is your expectation of others. The more forcefully you demand, the more you sink in its weight.

Allow the other to be free from you. Give others the freedom that you desire deep down.

Leave the rope that asks the other to comply. And you realize it was you who dragged yourself.

Focus Your Attention on Your Needs

What do you need right now? What is it that will make you happy right now and here?

If you need other people to make you happy, you are in deep slavery.

For most of my life, I needed my partner to be around me to make me happy. I was devastated when I could not meet him for months or years. But in desperation, I learned that I endured months of misery for momentary happiness.

Slowly, I learned to be happy with whatever life brings. Be it aloneness or togetherness. Everything became beautiful.

When you become your best friend, the need for others to make you complete disappears.

Few people may be your epicenter of life. But if it is disturbing your peace, re-shuffle to put yourself in the center because you can give love and freedom only when you have it.

Accept Your Flaws and Vulnerabilities

Society and people train us to become undefeatable, even if it means putting on a mask of fake happiness. This fakeness destroys your originality.

You become extra-sensitive toward your flaws when you try to bury them. But when you accept them, you become much strong. You develop the humor to laugh at them.

Everybody has weaknesses. Yet nobody is trying enough to admit them. Everybody tries to overcome their shortcomings by ignoring them or practicing fakeness.

The war of being someone else creates anxiety and pain. Frustration comes when you can’t meet the criteria of your ideal image.

Drop the fixation with any idea.

Accept who you are. Even with flaws, you are beautiful and lovable. Give yourself credit and pour self-love.

Self-Love Is the Only Ladder Toward a Fulfilling Life

Without acceptance, self-love does not work. It starts when you genuinely embrace yourself.

Self-love dissolves all mental conflicts of the dual image of what you should be. It stops your inner war and welcomes what you are.

You are invaluable and worthy of love.

Don’t mold your original self to receive love from them. Accept your originality. It will fizzle out every mental war you battle each day. And blossom a new day every morning.

Harness the super-power within you, i.e. ‘your unique self.’

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