3 Practical Ways to Live a Life Free From Emotional Drama
A guide to reclaiming your birthright to live joyfully and intimately with life.
How many times have you revised an incident in mind, thinking you could have behaved differently at that moment? How many times do you see various reactions to a single incident?
It is because everyone reacts based on their thought process and belief patterns.
A joyful person reacts differently from an aggressive person in the same situation. A jealous person might perceive a condition distinct from a grateful one.
Many years ago, I, with my brother, visited my aunt. My cousin had purchased a bike back then. I remember fighting with my brother, who would ride alongside him. Finally, I let go.
After an hour, I opened the door. I giggled as I saw them limping and hiding their minor injuries. I understood an accident had happened. I felt grateful it was not me.
My aunt sobbed to see children getting hurt. My uncle was furious as he could not control the situation at his home. My cousin felt ashamed for not being able to control the bike. Mm brother was in physical pain and felt disgusted in the middle of emotional drama.
One minor accident = Five different reactions of 5 people
It was hilarious to witness the different reactions of everyone present in the room.
People React From Their Beliefs and Understanding
If someone believes women getting bald is okay. Someone else would be aghast at this idea.
We all are hard-wired to react from where we stand and what we believe. In this world, everybody has their custom world inside their heads. Billions of world projected from individual minds lead to friction.
Only a mutual ground can disseminate all the differences.
But occasionally, the beliefs overpower. A minor situation can burst open the pandora's box of suppressed emotions. It erupts from their belief system.
Reactions are the runaway kites in the storm. Intermingling in the mixture of emotions, everything becomes hazy. We all get sucked inside the vacuum.
The only thing that can free us from this is conscious living.
1. Pay Attention to Your Reactions if "You" Want to Grow as A Human
Each one of us has solid patterns from where our behavior comes from. It is neither right nor wrong.
Reactions are an unconscious way of expressing your hidden feelings. Don't feel ashamed of anything. Be accepting of whatever comes up.
You can not hide your feelings for long. A small trigger will burst to open your volcano. These reactions are a guide to understanding your confusing emotions. Look closely to figure them out better.
How to do it:
If analyzed properly, your behavior can become a parameter to check
- where you are right now
- where you want to go and
- how far have you reached
If the same old situations still trigger you the same — it means you are still stuck in the old patterns. If you can remain peaceful in agitated circumstances, it means you are way ahead of where you once used to be.
What to be aware of:
You can manipulate your external behavior. But be extra aware of your inner feelings. It is easy to sweep bad sentiments and mask them with false positivity. But it will not help you.
To grow as an individual, you have to be truthful about your feelings. Be entirely naked to yourself. It is hard, but it is the only way!
The conscious mind determines the actions, the unconscious mind determines the reactions; and the reactions are just as important as the actions. — E. Stanely Jones
2. Get Detached From the Situation Brewing up at The Moment
Detachment does not mean cold behavior. It is about separating your identity and emotions from the circumstances.
Suppose someone criticized you for not preparing a good meal. It can either hurt, make you angry, or do nothing to you.
When you become attached to a situation or emotion, things turn ugly. But when you detach yourself from any situation, it automatically neutralizes everything.
Be it praise or criticism. It does not affect you.
How to do:
Getting detached from the emotions and thoughts is difficult, especially in heated moments. Begin your practice in regular routines.
Performing actions consciously is the secret to living detached. When you perform actions with awareness, the associations drop automatically. Light-heartedness happens in this detachment.
Once dissociated, you can look at anything with neutrality without taking it personally. This way, you don't drag it with yourself.
What to be aware of:
The term 'detached living' scares many, as people want to live intimately with life.
But you can not enjoy life till you remain stuck and identify with the past accomplishments or sadness. Once the weight of association with various things drops, life gives you wing to enjoy the present moment.
Parameter to measure your detached yet fulfilling life
Nobody can manipulate you — when you are not high in your proud moments and not low in tough times.
The aggression of someone does not interrupt your peace. The challenging time does not disturb your fulfilled life.
You truly laugh when someone praises or criticizes you. And it is possible! This is the height of freedom of life.
Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be obtained only by someone who is detached. — Simone Weil
3. Focus On the Present Moment
How many times do you find yourself either worrying about the future or remembering the past?
We rarely are in the present moment. It is a momentary thing happening every second. This is the main reason we miss it most of the time.
The present moment is like flowing water. Here it went, and here comes another moment! You can never touch it twice.
It is as fresh as it can be. Perhaps the newest thing in life. But the mind traps you elsewhere. Only when the body is in an emergency state, you indeed are in the present moment.
How to do it:
Practice living in the present moment.
Start with small chores. It can be as simple as drinking water or walking to the washroom. Slowly increase the practice to envelop it in every area of life.
It helps to center you. The more you practice it, the more awareness dawns.
When you focus on living in the present moment, you get detached from past and future impressions. You are truly here, living fully.
The reactions, outbursts of others don't make you upset. Everything crash when you move from one moment to another. Because then it becomes a thing of the past. The aggression went, and again you become centered in the present moment.
Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the ‘NOW’ the primary focus of your life. — Eckhart Tolle
Takeaway
It is easier said than done to live a life of true freedom. The situations, interactions with other people, and your mind make you run in every direction.
You become free from all the stories of diverse minds when:
- You pay attention to your reactions. It helps you evaluate your present mindset and where you wish to reach.
- You get detached from the stories of your identity and mind.
- You are centered in the present moment.
These small steps give great dividends. Start now.
If you drop the mind, suddenly you become happy for no reason at all. Then happiness is just natural, just as you breathe. For breathing, you need not be even aware; you simply go on breathing. Conscious, unconscious, awake, asleep — you go on breathing. Happiness is exactly like that. — Osho
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