How to stick to your New Year’s resolutions: get a head start

2020 is finally drawing to a close, and what a year it’s been. Whether it’s been one of personal growth or clouded by anxiety, few of us will forget it. 2020 will go down in history for multiple reasons:

We lost Kobe Bryant (feels like a lifetime ago, doesn’t it?).

We also lost Eddie Van Halen and Sean Connery (and many, many others).

Michael Jordan’s “The Last Dance” docuseries captivated us.

California was on fire.

Australia was on fire.

The UK left the EU.

Donald Trump lost the US election.

Harvey Weinstein was sentenced to prison.

(Former) Prince Harry and Meghan Markle left the Royal Family.

It was, by all accounts, an eventful year — but clearly 2020 had big ambitions for being globally recognised and truly historic, because it also gave us a worldwide pandemic with COVID-19.

The pandemic negatively impacted a lot of people and derailed numerous resolutions. 2021 is the opportunity to correct that.

Let me state first and foremost that 2021 isn’t an opportunity to correct that because things will be back to normal. It’s an opportunity because we humans have a tendency to like “official” starting points — like Monday, the 1st, “I’ll start my diet when I finish this box of cookies” and, the big one, a new year.

Now that we’re into the final stretch of 2020, that mammoth deadline for creating our list to become Our Perfect Selves looms large. In this article, I’m going to share my number-one tip to make it a success — and not another one to chalk up to “I’ll try again next year.”

How to make 2021 your best year

Most resolutions aren’t met. Apparently a whopping 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail. If you’re reading this, I’d bet that you’ve bailed on resolutions, too. I certainly am.

So why set yourself up for failure yet again? Why will 2021 be any different to previous years?

Why, exactly, do we hold ourselves to such high standards that we believe we can transform ourselves with no practice, no easing into it, and no future derailments?

No no no. It’ll never work.

Here, my wonderful readers, is how to actually get there:

1. Identify a limited number of goals. Don’t make the classic mistake of writing a laundry list of every single item that you want your perfect self to be: give up smoking, give up drinking, lose all the weight, join a gym, get a six pack, run 30 miles a week, volunteer, be a perfect parent, get promoted, yadda yadda yadda. Identify only the main things you want to achieve.
2. Accept that there will not be linear progress. You’ll have days of no motivation, days of frustration, where no progress is made. That is okay and part of the journey.
3. Start before January 1st.

Ahh, that last one is a shocker, eh?

Seriously, though, it’s become my secret-sauce for getting shit done.

Like so many other people, I used to wait for a Monday. Wait for January 1st. Wait for the start of the month. Wait wait wait. The truth is, waiting is the opposite of action, and action is what gets results.

If you want to achieve something, you need to work to get it. Why wait? My business coach gave me some tremendous advice when he said that ideally, the gap between us deciding to do something and actually doing it should be zero.

ZERO.

Whether you start literally right now is up to you, but I strongly suggest you start before the end of December.

Last year, I began a new workout routine in December. I was highly motivated, but I’d been motivated before. This time, I also wanted to try something new: having momentum by the time January rolled around.

It worked.

I was already on the second week of the routine when 2020 arrived. This year has been by far my most consistent for exercise, and as a result I both look and feel different. I now do this all the time. When my wife and I decided to do the 75 Hard challenge, we started on a Sunday. I’ve started new workouts and calorie tracking during the week. When I lost my job in May, I began my new business on a Friday. I start when something needs to be started, not when the calendar tells me.

The problem with starting something on a Monday, at the start of a month, or New Year’s Day is we feel like failures when we inevitably miss a day.

It means we’re no longer “on track” — because we’ve decided “on track” means being perfect, hitting every single day, with no deviation.

You know what else is on track?

Trains.

You know what trains regularly do?

Stop.

When you’re on a train (or bus, or at a stop light in your car) and it stops at a station, do you freak out and shout “Oh God, the train has stopped! The journey is ruined! I’m never going to get to my destination!”?

Do you then get out of the train? Do you walk across the platform and get on another one to take you all the way back home?

I assume no. And the reason for that is you know that stops are part of the journey.

Yet when it comes to our resolutions and attempted new routines, that’s exactly what we do. We’ve all done it with food: “Oh I’ve had a slice of cake today, I might as well go all out and start again tomorrow.”

WHY?!

The problem with resolutions and the psychological trick to success

The truth is simple: disruptions will occur. There is no alternative here. Illness, injury, events, family occasions, pandemics, politics — it’s simply not possible for every single day to go exactly as planned with zero disruptions.

But so what? To be blunt: get over it.

Nothing is built in a day, and nor is it lost. Missing a day on your diet will have no impact on your weight. Missing a workout will have no impact on your fitness or strength. Missing a day of work will have no impact on your professional development.

Remember: the goal is not to be perfect, but to obtain incremental improvements. It is better to achieve 80% of your goal, than to not start because you won’t reach 100%.

I’ve mentioned that this year has been my most consistent for exercising, and I’ve had results to show for it. Yet sometimes I had to miss a workout, sometimes I missed a full week or even a few weeks, sometimes I was less diligent about tracking my calories. The important part is I never strayed too far and I always came back — that is what will make success unavoidable.

The two factors for that are momentum and dedication.

Conversely, resolutions rely on motivation and willpower. These don’t give long-term results, because both are short-term and fleeting. The hope is they’ll develop into momentum, but you need the dedication to get there.

Results rely on you having the grit to do something not because you want to, but because it needs doing. The simplest way to do this is by intentionally forming a habit: for 60 days, complete the task no matter what. This builds momentum, embedding the new act into your daily routine.

Every single day, we do things that we don’t particularly feel like doing. We don’t brush our teeth on the days we feel motivated. We don’t go to work when we happen to feel like it. And there’s the lesson: to succeed with our personal goals, we need to operate as if there is no alternative.

For an extra push, add the items to your calendar so it’s an appointment like visiting the dentist — a place we go to because we have to, not because the mood suddenly struck to let someone poke about in our mouths with drills and vacuums.

Don’t forget to plan.

In 2019 I read a book that had an immediate and massive impact on my life: The 12 Week Year.

It gave me the insight that we need to have plans, with specific actions, and to map out the upcoming week every Sunday. So that’s what I do.

I also follow specific plans where necessary: like a workout routine, so I don’t just go to the gym when I want to and do whatever exercises I feel like. I have a marathon plan. I know how many calories and how much protein to consume each day. I know what work tasks to complete each day.

Simple, effective, beautiful

More than anything, New Year’s resolutions need to fit into our lives. For that to happen, we need to remain committed to them and have adequate time for them — and, of course, take consistent action.

Step 1: pick a small number of things you truly want to change or achieve.

Step 2: start before January 1st.

Step 3: plan.

And 12 months from now, you can look back on your most accomplished year to date.