How to Remain Ever Happy by Er. M.K. Gupta

It doesn’t matter to whom you are hurting all does matter is that you are not feeling like them.

In 2005 I was 19 years old, and I happened to read this book. I found it an interesting one because I used to be a pessimist in my life.

And for a negative thinker like me, this book was a good experience to learn so many great things in life.

I discovered when someone suggested anything good to me I didn’t take it seriously because I was not in the stage of believing them in the worst condition of my life. But as I grew up, I realized suggestions didn’t come always at the worst time; they came to me at the right time. It completely depended on my outlook how I took them positively or negatively.

And what about Happiness?

Happiness is something we all strive for. Isn’t it?

And at 34, I can firmly say we can find happiness everywhere in this whole world. Some people might be thinking, “Is it necessary to find Happiness”? But as far as I think my response is “Yes.”

Until and unless you don’t know what you want from your life how can you be a happy person? I used to be so depressed and unhappy in my life, but that was a time when I’d suffered a lot due to many reasons. I wasn’t eating healthy food, entertained emotionally unavailable boys, and participated in the worst domestic violence fights at home. I keep on talking about my experiences in other articles with you so that people who have been through the same journey of miseries never feel alone in their battles.

Coming back to this book, it is divided into 115 chapters, and every chapter got something to ponder upon for the implementation and positive way of living.

The learnings which are still lingering fresh in my mind are:

@) Positive Thinking

You may think that how a person with negative thinking can consider this point at the number first position? It’s all because after reading this book, I came to realize if one wants to remain happy then he/she should be a positive thinker.

Thinking the worst things at one or another time is a big sign of a negative thinker. And I didn’t want to die like one.

The situation can become good if one thinks with calmness and wisdom in mind instead of worrying about those things which are yet to happen. We cannot control life, and I don’t want my life to control me either.

Why shouldn’t we enjoy every moment of the present time?

Now I know what I want out of me and my life and it has developed this art in me to live in the present moment than playing my mind like an old cassette on both sides.

@) Maturity

I consider if a person is mature enough then he/she can take their decisions wisely.

Maturity doesn’t mean that you have to be mature in all of your decisions in life rather it means you won’t be regretting the ones coming back to you as a failure.

Have you ever observed a child who learns to walk while falling several times? That’s the same way maturity strikes us when we learn to deal with our successes and failures wisely.

I must say a mature person can give better and useful advice as he/she has experienced many things in a lifetime. And if you don’t know about your problems then you can better take the advice of some elder people as they can suggest something out of their own experiences. If you don’t agree with them then still you can get something to learn in another way.

@) Avoid being an egoistic person.

If you are an egoistic person then you should control your ego as far as you can. Ego can never bring you good experiences in life.

Being egoistic means that you think you are better than others and can get anything of your choice. It should not be like this because this way you would lose more opportunities than you would ever think of.

And sometimes you tend to hurt others. It doesn’t matter whom you are hurting because that person can be anyone. If you want to remain happy then try to understand others and give them equal importance.

Don’t try to impose your will on others as if you are always right because chances are they might be right too. Always give respect and support to others so that they will return the same to you.

Ego can kill our self-respect and confidence as we don’t always appear outside in the same way as we feel from inside.

@) Never Give Up

Never think that you are alone in this world.

If nobody is standing beside you then take it as a gods will.

Trust me or not, God is always there for you. I know you can’t hear him, but he is there to support you especially in the tough times. You should always be strong from the outside no matter how fragile you feel from inside. Because that’s how to resilience take birth inside your body, mind, and soul.

Don’t ever show your weakness to everyone because they can take advantage of you. I think once in a life one should fall in such a way so that you would learn how to deal with difficulties in life all alone.

Until and unless you are not stumbled it takes a lifetime to understand the meaning of life. We should not depend upon others all the time because nobody is going to be available for you 24–7.

We must try to stand alone. If someone is there for you then it’s a good luck and if nobody is there then don’t ever forget God is always there for you.

@) Don’t be an emotional fool.

To be an emotional person is not a good sign of a strong and wise person.

This is what I used to think when I was growing up. I am a highly sensitive person and today I can say without any shame that I am proud of all the tears I have ever cried in this lifetime.

I would add try to remain tension free from all the anxieties and worries of life. If someone tells you about his/her bad experience then say something that raises the spirit of the other person. Instead of crying/shouting/scowling or even back-bitching about them, raise them.

I used to hide my emotions from my loved ones because I have seen people laughing at me as if I was a laughing stock for them. At present, I open with people who understand my fears and make me feel proud of myself.

@) Appreciate others.

We should always appreciate others.

I can give you one good example of appreciation. Let’s consider Medium where we write, read, and add comments. Isn’t our virtual family? It’s an amazing way to interact while encouraging the work of others. Isn’t it?

Appreciation brings smiles and content to others. Sometimes while appreciating others ego comes in between and we start feeling why should I appreciate him/her?

Sometimes we waste time thinking whether I should go and read his/her work? Why should I? But how difficult is to give someone a compliment to raise their spirit up without knowing what kind of day he/she is going through?

Whenever you feel something like this calm down yourself by keeping your ego aside.

Go and talk to yourself and ask are you right? Is it right? If not, then go and lift them up and notice the facial expressions of that person. Even in the virtual world, you could imagine that happiness in your mind.

@) Everything is important.

People like to make comparisons because this is what they are good at.

After reading this book I would like to emphasize, in life everything is important.

I read this proverb somewhere “There is nothing either good or bad in this world but our thinking makes it so.” And I could resonate with it so much.

Our thinking has no bounds, and it makes us realize the power of the past and future without letting us focus on the present.

But if you could start considering everything as important then you can achieve satisfaction from your loved ones and yourself too? Isn’t it?

@) Don’t ignore others.

We like to ignore others differently. While ignoring others, we always forget to feel how the concerned person must have been feeling?

Ignorance is a bliss but not always. By suffocating someone else we cannot experience heaven.

Why don’t we consider another person happiness as essential as our own? Why did we think that he/she may feel good in a few days and interact with us in the same manner? Is there being any surety about this? I must add the answer is “No”. Because our one decision can adversely hurt the concerned person.

It doesn’t matter to whom you are hurting all does matter is that you are not feeling like them.

I would like to request that before ignoring anyone please always consider the other person’s feelings too. If ignorance can give you happiness then it can bring pain in someone’s life.

Treat others in a good manner because the best is yet to come. It will enhance your happiness and the happiness of your loved ones too when you would follow the voice of your soul.

*This book review was originally written on 15th August 2005.

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Gurpreet Dhariwal is the author of “My Soul Rants: Poems of a Born Spectator.” Her eBook is now available at Google PlayStore, Amazon, and Kindle. Connect with Gurpreet on LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, or Youtube