How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection if You are An Energy Healer

Do you secretly fear rejection from your friends and family for the energy healing work (eg. EFT) that you do? Here’s my story.

When I started my online Solopreneur business, it became pretty obvious to me that I have a fear of rejection.

More than once, I was told that I was doing something wrong. I felt as if I was being shamed — whether it was for giving akashic readings, helping others with emotional healing using a “weird” meridian tapping technique known as EFT or sharing about applying some Law of Attraction visualisation tool. Obviously, my friends had different ideas and belief systems. In the beginning, I took their comments personally.

Now, as I reflect on it, I find the whole situation ridiculous. The friends who had formed their judgments hardly knew about my work, the case studies I had built, or about some of the experiences I had personally gone through. They did not know where I was coming from nor made any attempts to find out more. No questions were asked.

But would going into a discussion make a difference?

Probably not.

They were already set in their opinions.

I quite suspect that they think I was into witchcraft or something, although they didn’t blatantly say so. But I wasn’t. My intent was to help others let go of beliefs that blocked their ability to manifest a happy and abundant life.

Sure, some of my clients found out that their subconscious blocks come from inherited beliefs passed down over the generations or past life imprints. I am guessing that some people may not feel comfortable since the methods I have been using fall under the umbrella of “alternative therapies”. These methods are mostly unheard of in their world.

The problem I faced was that I allowed what my friends say to bother me.

I can still recall energy draining from me. The red flush that came over my face, The hurt that I felt and how my heart had dropped.

Indeed, the fear of rejection was a big thing for me.

Even though I carried on doing what I believed in, I secretly craved for approval deep down inside. It would be nice to have that pat on my back for a job well done for helping humanity, to be acknowledged with nods, and to hear words of support. Well, my secret hopes for external validation did not quite manifest.

And so, I had reasoned that it would be safer to thread a lot more carefully and to hide. I thought that it was best to not draw too much attention from people who were going to react in horror and who believed that I was going to burn in hell or something for what I was doing. While I did put myself out there, I would often retreat whenever I felt that it was unsafe to do so.

Years of growth have passed since then.

I have walked through the dungeons of my fear and emerged to be where I am today — a lot more free, fulfilled and self-accepting.

Along the way, I found out the fear of rejection had many aspects and layers. It’s often rooted in my perception of “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not worthy” and “I’m not lovable”. As I have discovered, eliminating this fear completely has not been an overnight thing. It’s deeply rooted and it has taken multiple sessions of clearing work to be where I am.

Overcoming My Fear of Rejection

I thought I was over it. Until it happened again when the pandemic started.

I was posting about mental health on Facebook and emphasising the importance of calling helplines if one is struggling. Well, a few friends turned this into a joke in a private chat group. Their banter diminished the seriousness on what I was sharing.

I knew I should not take things personally but undeniably, when I found out about the joke, I felt a sharp tinge of hurt. At that very moment, I became aware that I was perceiving rejection. As I sat with the story of fear, I was hit with nausea — a sick sensation in my stomach and the old feeling of dread that arose.

Fortunately, I was mindful enough to know what the story was doing to me. I could see that it’s not necessarily true that my friends were rejecting me; even though they might not have understood fully about my work. In any case, I also realised that I don’t need everyone’s approval. In fact, it would be impossible to get everyone’s approval every single time.

I realised that what matters is how I choose my response. It made me prioritise who I want to spend time with. Also, since mental health is a serious topic, I worked on reaching out to even more people and sharing case studies of the therapies that have worked, by hosting free webinars and live sessions for anyone who was struggling.

How to Overcome the Fear of Rejection

The fear of rejection can hold anyone back from stepping into greater confidence. If you allow the fear of rejection to take over, it becomes difficult to show up, be the leader that you are meant to be or align with your potential. The fear of rejection puts a ceiling on your dreams, limits your potential to grow and keeps you trapped in playing small.

Hence, if you struggle with the fear of rejection, here are 3 sets of reframe for your consideration…

1. Make the distinction between “I am fear” and “I feel fear”. When you tell yourself “I feel fear”, you’d know that just like any other feelings, fear can dissipate. You are not your fear of rejection.

2. Fear is offering you feedback. When you feel scared, anxious or tensed, you are being offered an opportunity for inner work. The more you can work on releasing fear, the greater the freedom you are going to attain. If you are having sensations like feeling sick in the stomach or nervous tension in the heart, I recommend using a method such as the Emotional Freedom Technique for release. Fear is giving you great lessons for transcendence and transformation.

3. Shift from fear of rejection into self-acceptance. Perhaps the greatest lesson in the fear of rejection is learning to love and accept yourself. When others reject your ideas, you don’t have to take them personally. They may disagree with what you think but they are not necessarily rejecting you.

Hence, learn to accept that you are different, that what you do is impactful and that you don’t need to seek approval for who you are. As you shift into greater self-acceptance, you’d find it easier to feel the fear and do it anyway!

Shifting from Fear of Rejection into Self-Acceptance

These days, I allow myself to feel the fear but at the same time, I don’t allow it to define me. That the fear of rejection should come up — through physical disruption — is only offering me the feedback that there are more layers to peel. Most of all, I am learning to embrace myself.

It’s far more important to follow the voice of my heart over the fear of rejection.

My inner work is to observe fear, so that I can transmute the feelings that arise and transcend the lessons that it has for me.

Are you someone offering alternative therapies? If you face the fear of rejection due to the work that you do, I hope what I have shared here can be of some help to you too. Wishing you every success in your journey! Originally posted on Evelyn Lim’s Blog.

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