Summary

The article outlines strategies for identifying false narratives spread by narcissists through their intermediaries, known as "flying monkeys."

Abstract

The article "How to Immediately Identify a Narcissist’s False Story Told Via Flying Monkey" provides insights into recognizing fabricated stories perpetuated by individuals acting on behalf of narcissists. It emphasizes that these intermediaries, or "flying monkeys," may not be intentionally lying but are convinced of the narcissist's version of events. The article lists five key signs to identify such false narratives: the lack of firsthand knowledge, the inability to provide detailed accounts, the absence of object constancy regarding the victim, the uniformity of accounts among different witnesses, and the victim's lack of counter-testimony. It also contrasts the victim's testimony, which tends to be more varied and balanced, as a sign of authenticity. The piece is intended for educational purposes and offers a disclaimer regarding its intent and limitations. Dr. Melissa Kalt, MD, a trauma and covert narcissistic abuse expert, provides a resource for further understanding and suggests related articles for additional reading.

Opinions

The author suggests that traditional methods of detecting deception, such as observing body language or relying on gut feelings, may not be effective when dealing with flying monkeys.
The article implies that the narcissist's ability to deceive others leads to a false narrative being spread without the flying monkeys' awareness of the deception.
It is the opinion of the author that the lack of firsthand knowledge and inability to provide detailed accounts are strong indicators of a false narrative being perpetuated by flying monkeys.
The article posits that flying monkeys view the victim in an extreme and unnuanced manner, similar to the narcissist's perspective, which is a sign of a false narrative.
The author believes that the uniformity of accounts among the narcissist's supporters is a result of them repeating the same fabricated story, rather than providing independent, firsthand testimony.
The article asserts that the absence of counter-testimony from the victim does not validate the narcissist's story but rather indicates that the victim is responding to a surprise attack, which is part of the narcissist's strategy.
The author contrasts the victim's varied and balanced testimony with the narcissist's supporters' accounts, suggesting that the former is more credible despite possibly being perceived as weaker.
Dr. Melissa Kalt, MD, is presented as an authority on the subject, with resources available for those affected by narcissistic abuse.

How to Immediately Identify a Narcissist’s False Story Told Via Flying Monkey

Five can’t-miss signs you MUST learn to recognize

You hear conflicting stories and heinous allegations.

Each party has its version of events and evidence or testimony to support it.

You’re tasked with discerning the truth.

Let’s break down 5 ways to immediately identify the narcissist’s false story as told by their flying monkeys, framed as “testimony.”

#1 They don’t have to be lying to be sharing a false narrative

Wait, what? Are they lying or not?

Most of the time the flying monkey is not lying. They are absolutely CONVINCED that what they are saying is true.

It’s not.

The narcissist has deceived them well.

For this reason, your approach of reading body language and observing eye contact will not work. Neither will your gut feeling that they are telling the truth.

They are simply telling what they believe to be the truth.

#2 They lack firsthand knowledge

Flying monkey testimony is merely a recounting of the narcissist’s story told to them. It was told convincingly, sometimes over decades, so they believe it, but it is still hearsay.

They are unable to offer any details because they weren’t there.

For example, they’ll say,

“She had multiple affairs,” rather than saying, “I saw her coming out of La Quinta on Prospect at 10 pm with a dark-haired man.”
“She stole all the college money,” rather than “I saw account statements before and after. The accounts are empty.”
“She never gave him a birthday or Christmas present,” rather than “I remember in 2007 when he was really hurt she forgot his birthday.”

They cannot make a detailed statement because the stories are false.

#3 They lack object constancy about the victim

Like the narcissist, they see the victim as “all good” or “all bad.”

They were friends with the victim for years, but now they say they “never liked her.”
They feel she’s “dangerous,” but recently asked her to babysit their kids.
They thought it was wonderful she was a stay-at-home mom for years tending to her children, but now see her as never pulling her weight.

They cannot validate the victim’s perspective on anything. The victim has become “all bad.”

#4 They offer identical accounts to other witnesses

A narcissist’s flying monkeys’ stories are all identical.

Why? Because they have no first-hand knowledge of the truth. They are regurgitating the narcissist’s story — word for word.

The narcissist has told so many people, and the flying monkey has thus heard it from so many sources, that it seems like common knowledge.

If you were to ask a follow-up question, ask for a detail, you’ll see a deer in the headlights. They haven’t been prepped on how to answer that question.

(Realize they don’t realize they’ve been groomed and prepped all along. They believe what they’ve been told is true.)

#5 The victim has no counter witness or testimony

This is a clue you can’t afford to miss.

When one party provides witness testimony to support a story and the accused doesn’t have a single piece of evidence/testimony to counter it, it is NOT because the story is true, the testimony is solid, and there is no defense.

Please read that sentence again.

It is because the story is fabricated and was never on the victim’s radar.

The story was presented to destabilize and weaken the victim. The victim immediately goes into defense mode against an allegation out of left field and the narcissist has gotten exactly what they wanted.

Worse yet, if you believe the narcissist, you’ve handed it to them.

The victim, by contrast

The victim’s witnesses give varied and balanced perspectives in their testimony.

They offer different details, different points of view. They mention when they simply don’t know an answer — either they didn’t see it or they may have interpreted it incorrectly.

They also see the good and bad in both the narcissist and the victim.

Unfortunately, this is often seen as a weaker witness testimony, when in reality, it’s the only testimony that is real.

Disclaimer: This answer is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice. It’s a recount of how I’ve been able to help myself and others heal from narcissistic abuse and how it may be helpful to you.

Dr Melissa Kalt, MD is a trauma and covert narcissistic abuse expert who helps high-impact women break free from the longstanding after effects of narcissistic abuse. Download her free risk-assessment guide, 3 Hidden Financial Risks Every High Income Woman MUST Avoid While Coparenting with a Covert Narcissist and find information on working with her on her website.

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